j'accuse

Shutdown: This Blog has moved

2007-03-10T14:16:00.000+01:00

On 10th March 2005 (8.25 pm) the first edition of J'accuse appeared on the internet. It was entitled "the Kinnie Generation" and was a trip into the unknown. Over two years J'accuse has garnered a little corner of faithful readers, interested observers and its fair share of critics. We look forard to many more years of blogging and hopefully increasing the role of blogging in Malta.

Today, Saturday 10th March 2007, on the occasion of it's second anniversary this blog is moving. No further content will be posted on the blogger version of J'accuse (http://akkuza.blogspot.com). All new content will now be added on the Wordpress version (http://jaccuse.wordpress.com).

We thank you for the over 100,000 visits since inception and hope that you will be moving with us to our new home. Do not forget to update your aggregators or subscribe by email to the new j'accuse address in the new site here.

You've come a long way baby!

Thank you.

Last one out switch off the lights.

D-Day -1: J'accuse Moves Tomorrow

2007-03-09T09:16:00.000+01:00

ADMINISTRATIVE NOTICES

1. Moving Tomorrow
As if you have not already seen enough of these. This is another administrative notice for those who haave not been checking in for some time. As of tomorrow, Saturday 10th March, I will no longer be posting on the blogger versions of J'accuse, Kinnie & Twistees, the Laughing Fit, Postform and neither will GS be posting on Il Bollettino.

You are kindly requested to point your Favourites Bookmarks, RSS Feeders or daily browsing to the following addresses so as to continue to savour the daily enjoyment that is afforded by these sites:

J'accuse:
http://jaccuse.wordpress.com

Kinnie & Twistees:
http://kinnietwistees.wordpress.com

The Laughing Fit:
http://thelaughingfit.wordpress.com

Postform:
http://postform.wordpress.com

Il Bollettino della Sfi*a:
http://ilbollettinodellasfiga.wordpress.com

If you do not have an aggregator or do not know what it is I suggest you take a trip to Bloglines or RSS Bandit or or those who like to pay Newsgator. Then come back!

2. ARCHIVES & COMMENTS
The transfer of the blogs has not been (is not being - as Apu would say) without hassle. Without much complication let me just say that blogs moving from New Blogger to Wordpress (Laughing Fit, Bollettino, Postform) have moved lock, stock and barrel (automatically) with comments and all. The manually moved blogs (this one and K&T) are being patiently transposed post by post. This means that comments will be lost. There's no BIG problem because the blogger equivalents will stay on the net for archivial purposes. K&T archives should be over to the other side by tomorrow (D-Day). J'accuse is a much longer matter since there are almost 900 posts spanning the two years. (Frequent Blogger of the Year Award eh?)

3. The 100,000.
I am pleased to announce that J'accuse will have had 100,000 visitors over two years. As we stand we are 300 visits short of 100,000 on the eve of D-Day. But that does not take into account that the Statcounter was installed a month after J'accuse started - hence we are very much in time to hit the 100,000 target over two years. (How do we reason that? It is safe to assume that in its early days J'accuse had an average hit of 30 a day by the second week... giving us two weeks of 30 a day blogging - around 410 hits.... you see!)

Which leaves us with the competition. It's still open... your 500 words about J'accuse can still win you a J'accuse mug! Keep trying and sending them in to jacques dot zammit at gmail dot com. We're only 300 hits away from announcing the winner.

Shooting Oneself in the Foot

2007-03-08T11:04:00.000+01:00

One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you're in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you're not it does just the opposite. It's like "hey, there's an asshole". - Demetri Martin

Yesterday's events in Valletta are the shameful result of too much pandering to a vociferous, bullying minority. Pre-referendal and pre-electoral wheeling and dealing has led to a situation where no amount of macchiavellian delays involving the EU will appease and ever-more violent mass of imbeciles armed with shotguns.

This still does not seem to have been an eye-opener for "the government". Never mind the "opposition" - it definitely does not have the balls to take a stand on this one. It will continue to try to milk the hunter's protest votes (see Maltastar's sorry report of the events) while hoping to delay facing the music to when it is in the unenviable position of being on the "government" side of the negotiation table. Sant and his minions should learn from PN's sorry experience... pandering to the hunting lobby while in opposition (or government) is a bit like counting on Mintoff's support in Parliament - never really a reliable option.

Here's the government's reaction to a situation where we have hunters physically aggressing journalists and the police:

In a statement late last night the government expressed its concern about the incidents. It said everyone had to respect the right of the police and journalists to carry out their jobs without violence or threats. - The Times

The usual tut-tut naughty naughty. Come now boys... let the journalists and police do their job... please. Thank you. Sorry? One driver broke through a police barrier and drove onto people in Freedom Square... some hunters were seen carrying shotguns... there are uncomfirmed reports of shots being fired... they hurled glasses/bottles and spat at the journalists.... they stole half of Ben Borg Cardona's photographic equipment... surely this deserves more than a schoolboy reprimand?

We cannot expect better from Lino Farrugia. Unless he unequivocally apologises to the Maltese public and tones down his mass of uncouth chickenheads he can no longer be treated with respect. He should not form part of any negotiation table. The hunting lobby should henceforth be treated like terrorists... until there is no longer ANY sign of violence. They should be boycotted and ignored and their demands should never be accepted. They were already negotiating from a weak point... they have blown their final chance to be heard.

Before the only place to see a turtle dove becomes the (probably obsolete) 6c stamp and before the farce of Maltese democracy is really exposed something must be done. We expect the Police to take action. Investigations must be made into aggressors. There must be raids to recover the stolen material. One of the oldest police forces in Europe deserves much more respect than it is getting. Its reaction to yesterday's events will be a first step to this rehabilitation.

Links:
The Times
The Times
IM Beck
The Independent
Daphne Caruana Galizia

...and this one is incredible updated 8 minutes before uploading this post... Maltarightnow still has NO news about all this.

This post also appears in the new J'accuse (two more days till blogger site shuts down)

Happy Women's Day

2007-03-08T10:16:00.000+01:00

To continue yesterday's moment of leg-pulling and celebrate Women's Day at the same time. Happy Positively Discriminating Day of Pointlessly Celebrating the Obvious and Creating an Excuse to Send a Card or Flowers (Commercial) as well as Giving Dolores Cristina and c. Something to Write About Day!

Send an email to Joe Saliba and Jason Micallef to remind them that today is Women's Day and that they should use this day to remind people how both PN and MLP have loads of nisa in their list of candidates [NOT]....

Seriously... women rock!

Scoot Over

2007-03-07T10:17:00.000+01:00

To the Laughing Fit (new version) for the latest addition - a parody of Maltese Political Propaganda...

... see you later!

Yardsticks

2007-03-06T09:57:00.000+01:00

Note: This post may also be viewed on the new J'Accuse website : http://jaccuse.wordpress.com.

Last weekend's Maltatoday editorial ends with the assertion that "Europe is indeed the new yardstick". Too true. The main reasons I voted for joining the European Union were instances like the current hullaballoo on the Bird's Directive. I knew that the MLPN have become too rooted in the favours for the locals and summersaults for the vociferous pressure groups system. This was accompanied by the nagging suspicion that it would take more than a lifetime or some shock event for people to start shifting their voting habits. So how to get about the necessary change anyway?

Easy. Vote for a system that"imposes" common standards with the most forward looking states on the continent. A system that has targets that are consonant with living in the 21st century and that eventually (and hopefully) become the prodding stick for the reluctant relics in government and opposition to change the song and dance that they have accustomed us to. And Pullicino is right. It may take some time for the first thunderbolt to hit the government. But that is the delay effect of membership. Once the first ECJ decisions start rolling out then the party in government will need a very very effective PR machine to make us all ignore the list of failures that will be automatically generated.

For now the ministers, minions and opposition will feel comfortable naysaying and minimising the effects of the process. It is still all too distant for the easily appeased populace to make any sense of it. They will at first believe their minister's assertions that Malta is right and will defend its position to the utmost. Of course there is nothing wrong with that. Malta has every right to defend its position... what worries me are instances like the Bird's Directive... where it is evident that the government is only delaying a fact known to itself and anyone with a modicum of interest in European Law. Where the honourable members know that they are in the wrong and are knowingly incurring liabilities for the nation. Why?

Hopefully we will have less of that. The European Yardstick will help much in this area. Some have already woken up to this possibility. Reporting... informing and forcing relcutant authorities into action. Take this website called gozitans.eu for example.... an interesting exercise in getting things going in Gozo. I have only just discovered it and cannot vouch for all its content but it is an example of the new kind of citizen action we can expect more and more as the new yardstick takes shape.

And good riddance to old ways.

Rain, Wind and PN's Lorna

2007-03-05T10:17:00.000+01:00

Good morning, I hope that you have had a splendid weekend. It's been spiffing in Luxembourg, especially since we have had long periods of sunshine and unprecedented warmth. The park outside 22, Rue de Bragance was regaled with a wonderful shower of rays and showed off it's green glory as luxizens thronged into it's paths and children's voices joined the chorus of happy birds celebrating this early spring.This patch of bright sunshine was just as surprising as the news that Remich is flooded and that the citizens of that riverside town are busy pumping water out of their caves all over again.

This morning we woke up to a constant pissing of rain from the heavens but the long hours of sunshine stocked up during the weeked could not be so easily obliterated by this sudden change - even more so since we will all be cooped up in our offices and any extra sunshine would have gone wasted. There will be no raining on our parade. But enough about the matter... let us back to things Maltese and more particularly to the forthcoming local council elections.

Here at J'accuse we have oft pointed a not-so-bony accusatory digit towards the big fish in the electoral pool for throwing oh-too-many candidates at the electorate without separating the eedjits from the democratically electable. A letter to today's Times by a candidate Paul Aquilina (PN) does prove our point. Let me say that I do not know the chap in question - and that if I ever had the pleasure of meeting him he did not leave a sufficiently memorable mark on my mind for it to recall his face as soon as the name was read...

Anyways.. his letter to the times deserves the Lorna treatment... if only for a nostalgic return to methods past. Voilà mesdames et monsieurs ... the créme de la crème of PN candidates live from Malta in 2007:

Why vote PN
Paul Aquilina
[Do note the title. Could have ben phrased better no? I mean. Why vote PN? Yes. Why bother? Sometimes brevity tends to be the assassin of the spirit of the phrase (as Lorna would undoubtedly say). Why You Should Vote PN would have been less comprehensive but more comprehensible title.]

For the March 10 local elections the Nationalist Party will be presenting to the public a group of 121 ladies and gentlemen, coming from all walks of life [Aha. Let the public be presented I say. We have ladies and gentlemen... it's almost like the opening of a circus... ladies and gentlemen of the public we present you the ladies and gentlemen of the candidates list... can you picture Joe Saliba with a Dali -like moustache and a whip?].

They include lawyers, notaries and law students, medical doctors, architects, accountants, businessmen, senior bankers, civil service officials, university lecturers and teachers, company directors, private sector employees, students, youths, self-employed, housewives and also a few pensioners. [What? No Bearded Lady? I want my money back. Well... we have the butcher the baker and the candlestick maker of course. There's the lawyer, the notary and the half baked lawyer. Grrrrreat. Civil Service officials... wahey. Then there is the great set of hodge-podge employments at the end... Youths! Housewives! and the few pensioners thrown in! Jeezus. Doesn't the list smack of (a) patronising bull and (b) I wanted to come up with an iindicative list but then I did not want to hurt any of my fellow candidates so I mentioned ALL the jobs they do.. tenkjuverimuch].

These people possess a vast experience [That famous vast experience... I wonder how the Youths compare to the Housewives and the Pensioners?] as well as great intellectual knowledge [Ta-da... it's the hunting season for Wankellectuals... here we have the lowest of the grades... not just a wannabe intellectual but one who has no idea what intellectual really means!]. Some of them also shoulder professional responsibilities in their line of work [The others just sit around on their asses and get paid for doing **** all because they are blue eyed boys with the best pedigree!]. This group of candidates further enrich the PN in terms of quality [Hmm. Enrich the PN in terms of quality - sounds like an artificial additive] and in its endeavours to guarantee serious management in local government.

I regret to say it is quite the opposite in the Labour Party camp [ Opposite to what exactly - to having the circus of contestants? to having intellectually knowledgeable individuals? to having enriching factors to the endeavours of ... whatever?] where administrative and other problems during certain council meetings are not unknown [Could a vaguer accusation be levelled? I mean what council meetings? Local Council? Aren't they made up of mixed councillors? And anyway... can you really say this after all that has been in the news?]. In my opinion the responsibility lies with the MLP leadership; only they decide who to accept to represent their party [As against PN who accept all the flotsam and jetsam of electoral hopefuls so long as they shoulder their professional responsibility, are intellectually knowledgeable and write ridiculous letters to the times]. It all depends whether they want serious and professional people to run local councils, as the PN does. [Does it? I mean... not to really really rub it in... but you are not doing a very good job of proving the contrary Paul!]

We have read in newspapers of councils with a Labour majority facing huge problems [True. And I have also read in the newspapers of councils with a PN majority making a whole cock-up of respnsible management too], even involving the police in one case [Involving the police? How dare they? Did they ask them to help or what?]. We also hear about Labour councils squandering public funds and engaging in partisan politics [Tut tut tut... PARTISAN POLITICS (read using John Cleese tone of voice)... .now what is that exactly Paul?]. We hear of councils refusing to renew the employment contract of employees simply because they are in some way affiliated to the PN as is their right [IS it the right of councils to renew the aforementioned contract or is it the abovementioned employees who have a right to be affiliated to the PN? The question is intellectually knowledgeable of itself... it is also shouldering its own responsibility.. I think the question could actually run for elections in a non-partisan manner!].

We also read about financial deficits incurred by Labour local governments, the inability to follow the correct procedures when awarding tenders, disregard to the Local Councils Act, confusion and situations whereby local wardens issue an excessive number of tickets.
It is the opposite where there is a PN majority; financial results in the great majority of PN-led local councils are positive with that of Gzira leading the PN group and ending the last financial year with a surplus of over Lm32,000. [Tadaaaaa.... Gzira has a positive financial record hence all PN councils have a positive financial record].

Voters are urged to use their right to vote and choose [Choose life] responsible and professional people, the like [ OH no.... the like that are found] that are found in the PN list of candidates.

***

Mein Gott in Himmell! Unbelievable? Not really... it's run of the mill candidates.... And Aaron F should be thanking his lucky gods that I have not butchered his presentation of Youth Candidates for the local council. He is just as infected with this logorrheic mode of circum tauri for the masses. We deserve much more than this.

The management of the PN and Labour camps are under the general accusation of neglecting their duties towards the electorate when it comes to selecting candidates. J'accuse openly accuses the executives of the two main parties of thinking they can easily take us all for a ride by throwing this quickly assembled crowd of wannabes at us and hoping that one or two of them stick and manage a Local COuncil haphazardly for the next few years.

Shame. But at least we get our silver lining... letters like this are precious fodder for our Blog... just keep them coming lads! Ir-rebha taghna tkun!

Everything but the Mug

2007-03-03T16:14:00.000+01:00

This will be the 881st post on J'accuse since 10th March 2005. We are about to round the corner into the last 1,000 hits before we reach the frugal milestone set by ourselves - 100,000. Sounds big doesn't it? By general blogging standards it is a drop in the ocean. Spittle on the side of a giant's lips. You get the drift. We are nothing and we are still intent on celebrating our nothingness in style.

Many of you have already started adding the new j'accuse to your aggregators. Kinnie & Twistees, The Laughing Fit, Bollettino and Postform also moved - in case you have not noticed. A while back I had offered an interesting prize competition for the 100,000th hit... with absolutely no response. Which is not so spiffing. We have not given up....

A J'accuse (original - with original webaddress - potential collectors item) Mug (with pic as seen above) is still up for grabs to the reader who sends in the most interesting 500 words or less on one of the following topics:

1) 10 reasons why I like J'Accuse
2) 10 reasons why I hate J'Accuse
3) Why I want a j'accuse commemorative mug so badly
4) What I'd like to see for the next year in J'accuse

Send your 'essays' to jacques dot zammit at gmail dot com.
Final results to be announced after the 100,000th hit on J'accuse.

happy saturday and don't forget to upate your aggregators
J

Alternative Council Politics

2007-03-02T10:32:00.000+01:00

With Fausto's admonition still ringing in my mind I was about to type out a whole post criticising alternattiva's program for Local Council Elections as being shallow and generic. Unfortunately (for Fausto) that was before I discovered that the alternattiva website also contains a different programme for each candidate in each locality. Surf over to alternattiva's site if you are interested in more details.

To be fair I think that Harry's article in today's Times puts too much stress on the AD vs MLPN. Why? Because at the end of the day we are talking about Local Councils where the quality of the individuals often is a more determining factor than the party they hail from. Local Council members can either be party puppets placed there for the number or individuals with a genuine love for their locality with a real interest in making Haz-Zghir (little village) a better place. Both PN and MLP have been stung by backing Mr Anybody for the sake of number (or thanks to an uncanny popularity such individuals enjoy in their little fiefdom). Just look at all the Mayoral gaffes in different localities which end up being an ugly smudge on the relative party's very own Local Council Conduct. If you still don't know what I am talking about think of the Zebbug (Gozo) mayor and his illegal dumping or the Qala Mayor's brainwave at creating that lovely beach out of building debris.

The intelligent voter in a Local Council election should be seeking out the individual who engages to deliver a reasonable set of promises with the locality at heart. Local Council electors should look beyond the blue, red and green - only pausing for an instant to examine whether MLP, PN or AD backed candidates are within the right structure to deliver what is best for the locality. It is only in this respect that I can see Harry's point that AD programmes tend to contain deliverables that are intelligently constructed and practical - and the track record of quality vs quantity does give AD candidates an advantage over the papable masses that are normally produced by the MLPN clan.

I am not trying to give you two different messages. The message is one and the same. Vote for candidates who seem to know what they are going in for and know what they want to deliver. Vote for candidates who will not put party interest before that of the locality. Such candidates are not only found in the AD camp - definitely. I just have a feeling that the stamp of guarantee offered by AD is not found elsewhere in the political field. AD's size in this campaign is its strength and not its weakness.

Of course you can always do an Alfred Mifsud and ignore the existence of AD altogether. I remember the good old days ofrunning for KSU elections. I used to have a hard time convincing fellow SDM executive members that the content of the electoral manifesto was more important than just bandying around the SDM symbol. Before taking on anyone else using the simple electoral strategy of colour allegiance I wanted to add depth and quality to the campaign. Many times my efforts fell on deaf ears (those who had long before succumbed to the MLPN mantra of "Ir-rebha taghna zgur"). The few times it worked were those that gave me much much more satisfaction.

Incidentally I had a look at the latest KSU website. It seems that eight years on the real value of the policies we started then are beginning to take shape. The KSu executive has understood its role as a moderator and given full effect to its policy forming commissions that are as representative as possible. Beyond the PULSE-SDM (renationalised SDM I would add) rhetoric a group of a few good men and women have understood the benefits of working with a fresh alternative. Well done chaps!

ADMINISTRATIVE NOTICES
- This post will also appear on the new J'accuse website (beta testing of course) http://jaccuse.wordpress.com.
- Thanks to Kenneth for the feedburner tip. It's working on the new j'accuse!

Thank You for Your Patience

2007-03-01T14:40:00.001+01:00

There seems to be a general hiatus in the blogworld that can be partially attributed to the Blogger shift to the new Blogger. My bloglines list has gone haywire ... with most blogs seeming to be inaccessible or closed. Right now I feel that every blogpost is a bit akin to a message in a bottle - never too sure about who will eventually get to read it. The decision to shift to a new blogging system has now shifted to action and more will be posted about this in the coming days. until then I am afraid that posting will be as haphazard as has been in the past few days while I dedicated most of my spare time to the gargantuan task of General Blog Déménagement... my blogs are quite literally moving to another site. And that's definite.

For those of you who would like to plan in advance here is a list of a few links you may want to add to your aggregators. For now they will only signal old posts being added as I maually transfer post by post from the archives (which also means that I lose all the comments). There IS a way to export a whole blog to the new site but this can only be done if your blog is in the New Blogger - a shift that is apparently impossible for both Kinnie & Twistees and J'Accuse!!

Anyway... here goes:

J'Accuse
http://jaccuse.wordpress.com

Kinnie & Twistees
http://kinnietwistees.wordpress.com

Il Bollettino della Sfi*a
http://ilbollettinodellasfiga.wordpress.com

The Laughing Fit
http://thelaughingfit.wordpress.com

Postform
http://postform.wordpress.com

I am hoping to be able to launch all five sites on the 10th March - the original launching date of J'Accuse for Blogger!

For now keep following for updates on Blogger. And thank you for your patience.

Thank You for Your Patience

2007-03-01T14:40:00.000+01:00

I want tha' one...*

2007-02-28T10:57:00.000+01:00

First of all let me apologise for the petulant outburst at all things blogger yesterday. The constant efforts at trying to improve the j'accuse (and other blog) layout led me to a particularly nasty nervous breakdown last night. I promise to be calmer in my approach in the future.

Now to the government. It's great days ahead for Gonzi's group as the Local Council elections (which nobody cares about but everybody talks about) approach. The announcement of Malta's formal application to join Eurozone came with the usual pomp and circumstance. The EU will be examining Malta's application and whether the country's performance falls within the convergence criteria. All's well and good.

And while PM Gonzi was busy hobnobbing with Joaquin Almunia (Economic and Monetary Affairs Commissioner) his man for Environmental Affairs was busy telling everybody that the EU's system of enforcement is a bit like the Jesuits discipline at SAC. You can try to get away with ignoring it because sometimes it takes oh such a long time to get going. The problem is that like the jesuit, it will catch up with you one day or another and inflict the most heavy of punishments you ever thought possible!

Today we read that the Commission is not very happy with Malta's decision to ignore the Directive concerned for the fourth year running. It has reminded all of us that there is a procedure that has been running against Malta since June 2006 and that this latest move with regard to Spring Hunting does not improve Malta's situation much.

All will depend on the ECJ's interpretation of the derogation given to Malta. In the end it is all about deciding whether there is an alternative to spring hunting - like autumn hunting. Once that is over and done with it will be time for George to go back to the hunters and birdwatchers and explain that this latest interpretation (whatever it is) is the law. More importantly it will be time for Maltese politicians to explain to the general populace that the EU is not exactly a pick'n'mix establishment. You cannot have the euro, the subsidies and flout EU law at the same time. Nope sir. Ich don't think so... as Baron Cohen's latest character would say.

This thinking does not only apply to the hunters and watchers but also to the traders who are infuriated by parallel importation from Sicily, to former monopolies and subsidised operations and most importantly to governments who should wake up, open their eyes and remember that even their legislative activity must conform with EU law.

More than worrying about joining the euro, cabinet, government and all social players should be waking up to the fact that we joined the EU some time ago now... and thankfully there's no turning back.

Now that's a refreshing thought.

* Nota Bene: Title and Picture refer to Little Britain characters Lou and Andy

End of Project

2007-02-27T22:41:00.000+01:00

Recent changes on Blogger have prompted me to take a drastic decision with regards to the management of my accounts. I have tried to migrate to the new blogger with all the blogs concerned: J'accuse and Kinnie & Twistees remain stuck in the old blogger. The Laughing Fit has moved but required the creation of a separate gmail account. Same goes for the almost defunct Lamp-Post-Form. I cannot unsubscribe myself from Il-Loghba Sabiha because I cannot access the settings part. As for Gakbu Sfigho's Bollettino... it has moved to the new blogger but not without teething problems.

Therefore all readers are being forewarned that once J'accuse reaches 100.000 hits and the 10th March 2007 (site birthday) is behind us we intend to shut these projects from blogger and shift to pastures new. Research has already begun for better blogging fields. Suggestions and solutions are welcome. Meanwhile we have to find a way how to archive all this *hit!

BTW. Guys like Lanzarote and Ajjut seem to have shifted to new blogger with the added consequence that their blogs are now available only for invited readers. That is the kind of trouble we are trying to avoid.

Thank You.

Carry on... Hunting

2007-02-27T15:32:00.000+01:00

It's the latest hot news from the island of contradictions. The Wise Government of the Republic has approved spring hunting. The Cabinet voted in favour of opening another free-for-all on the flying pests that pass over islands for the forthcoming spring season. Unfortunately what should have been a minor point on the agenda of a very busy set of ministers has been splashed all over the papers (electronic or otherwise) providing us with a veritable Bird's Eye View (pardon the capitalised pun) of the rainbow like panorama of Maltese politics. If anything this event proves that half the picture really does not tell much.... or does it? Well.... j'accuse is about to rectify the situation with this in-depth report "Carry on Hunting"...

1. Analysing The Headlines

MALTARIGHTNOW: L-istagun tal-kacca fir-Rebbiegha: Il-Gvern se jikkontrolla
Strong imagery from the PN online rag. Note the reassuring message to hunters and violent protesters... there IS a hunting season and it IS in Spring. Note the appendix to the the BR: the government will control. We are obviously not told what is left to control. We are not told many things but those are pleasures yet to come.

MALTASTAR: Government gives "green" light to spring hunting
Ha!Ha! for that. Don't you just love the pun? Isn't it funny? The opposition e-paper doesn't know which news is best for its readers ears. Like a kid in a sweet shop it just stands ogle-eyed in the middle and stares and drools without much substance. They'd love to criticise the government... but that would mean that they disagree with the hunting season... and that would mean falling into the bad books of the GHKNK... definitely a no go.

THE TIMES: Malta defies EU on spring hunting
An interesting title. No contradictions here. The Times puts its neck on the line and calls a spade a spade. The title is interesting when we compare it to the Maltarightnow reporting of Minister George Pullicino's press conference and his analysis of how Malta stands viz the EU.

THE INDEPENDENT: Cabinet approves spring hunting, final dates to be established
As non-committal as possible. Hey... the cabinet approved it... the dates are still not there. We do not know how to make head or tail of all this. Is the government right? Are the hunters happy? For all the Independent cares.... boq

DI-VE: Government violating national and European Laws - Birdlife Malta
You could be forgiven if for a second you thought that di-ve had reached a conclusion on all this. They preferred quoting the Birdlife press release - and birdlife are rabid indeed.

2. the Content
So let's start with Maltarightnow (MRN). Everything is fine and dandy. First of all this was all done in consultation. The Minister consulted a committee of people who have varying interests in flying things (from snapping their photos to snapping their wings). The decision was taken at a meeting of the Ornis Committee (doesn't that sound ever so environmental?). Turtle Doves and quail can be shot at between 1st April and 20th May.

If the environmental bandwagon was not enough, Vote George Get Birdhunters explained to anyone who was listening that the people had voted in the last referendum and general election to preserve sustainable hunting in spring. We what? Somehow I do not remember the "Let's Preserve Bird Hunting" t-shirts adorning the carcades for the referendum campaign. I do remember voting to get in the EU and finally kick out hunting!!! but it seems that Vote George Get Ugly Surprises seems to think otherwise.

And then there was the funny bit about announcing stricter measures and heavier fines to ensure that the rules are observed. So that's a good one. First we misinterpret the people's will. Then we redraft the hunting rules to get an escape clause regarding when the hunting season begins (under previous byelaws hunting season could only start six weeks after an Ornis Committee decision... now it has been magicked into four). Then we also claim that (a) the Eu rules will not really apply and (b) if they do really apply it will still take the big EU machine very very long to take a decision against Malta in this regard.

Hmm. I promise he said that. Don't believe me?

"The minister downplayed the significance of the EU's infringement proceedings, saying the process leading to a possible fine from the European Court was a lengthy one". (The Times)

"Mr Pullicino explained how the process of remedial action available to the European Commission, which has promised to come down hard on Malta should it allow spring hunting once again this year in what it would consider a breach of the EU’s birds directive for the fourth year running, would take some time to be incurred, if at all applicable. Punitive fines would only result should Malta fail to comply with a decision by the European Courts of Justice*, the last of three steps in infringement proceedings, while so far, the EC has only taken the first step and issued a letter of formal notice." (The Indy)

Ok. I'd love to go on and on. I'd love to be able to see some logic in this new manoeuvre and not a calculated pandering to the GHKNK timed perfectly not to ruffle any feathers (at least not human feathers) before the Local Council elections (just long enough to vote but not long enough not to be condemned by the EU). I can't though.

It's pathetic. People keep on reminding me that a PN government is the lesser of all evils. That a vote for the PN is an inevitable and foregone conclusion if we want to retain a modicum of logic and save our face on the international arena. Will someone carefully explain what difference there is between a defiant George Pullicino vis-a-vis black and white EU regulation and a defiant Iranian Prime Minister vis-a-vis the world community and nuclear proliferation?

George Pullicino may claim to be personally against hunting (and the many threats on the GHKNK site may be more than positive proof to that) but surely his handling of this matter could have been much much much (did I say much?) better.

Last I heard, a flock of turtle doves and quail were flying in the direction of the Ministry of Environment... and just before they were shot down by a trigger happy hunter they had managed to form the following words in the sky....

VOTE GEORGE, GET STUFFED

Links:
Maltarightnow
Maltastar
Di-ve
The Times
The Malta Independent

* The red highlighting in the Indy quote begs the question. Is the government waiting for a condemnation by the ECJ and then acting as though its hand was forced and therefore cannot do but abide with the EU rules? Possible...but we can never be sure.

It's my Penalty...

2007-02-26T09:29:00.000+01:00

... and I cry if I want to!

Supercoccolato d'Italia has struck again. Having taken (and missed) his 6th penalty in succession Rigetta wundermensch Totti decided to throw a tantrum. Apparently his failure to score this time was up to some witty subterfuge by the Reggina goalkeeper - a former team mate. It appears that just before Totti struck his latest missing shot, the keeper approached Italy's favourite whinger and told him that shooting the penalty was useless - he would save it anyway by diving to the right. Totti therefore assumed that the keeper would dive anywhere but the right and shot to the right. Unsurprisingly Campagnolo (the sly keeper) saved the shot... thus incurring Totti's wrath. Well... we all know how Totti celebrates his goals... with a thumb in mouth action (stile pacifier)... surely that gives him the licence to burst into a kiddy tantrum should he fail to score a penalty?

In his words (Gazzetta dello Sport):

PARLA TOTTI E' lo stesso capitano giallorosso a raccontare la sua versione dei fatti, dopo la fine della gara, ai microfoni di Roma Channel: "Siccome con Campagnolo ci conosciamo da tanto tempo, è successo che è venuto verso di me prima che tirassi il rigore e mi ha detto 'Tanto te lo paro, lo so dove me lo tiri, alla mia destra'. Visto che mi aveva detto queste parole, io non pensavo che si buttasse proprio lì, pensavo di fregarlo e invece mi ha fregato lui". Sul battibecco avuto subito dopo col portiere della Reggina: "L'ho mandato a quel paese ma è stato un gesto istintivo che mi è venuto. Ero dispiaciuto perchè ci tenevo a segnare. Era importante per me, il gol lo sto cercando da tanto tempo, soprattutto su rigore (è da oltre due mesi che non ne segna uno, ndr). Ma l'importante è che la Roma abbia vinto".

Meanwhile back on the island where real football is played - Valletta trounced B'kara three nil to keep up their surprising pace....

2007-02-23T12:10:00.000+01:00

I'm Afraid of Americans

Aussies taking the mickey out of the Yanks.

Guide 2K+7 for Everyone

2007-02-23T10:56:00.000+01:00

Writing in yesterday's Indy, Daphne CG reported that Malta's zeitgeist in 2007 is not what it was twenty or thirty years back. Apparently Malta has burst out of its bubble of not so splendid isolation and is now exposed to cultures immeasurable. Such cultures are both a boon and a threat to the current ways of thinking. The threat side of things is being confronted in all sorts of ways - from court cases involving tangas and transsexuals, to the divorce debate (really, so passe') to adaptation to a common set of regulations intended to better the general state of things in the European continent.

Unfortunately, as Daphne also points out, the country is run mostly by the lesser evils elected from among the unelectables that are proposed every now and then to an electorate that is too stunned by the bursting of the bubble and the discovery of 2K gadgets to react in any other way. The unelectable elected - the survivors of this oxymoronic paradox - run the country (or its oppositin) much to the chagrin of the few who have really shifted into 2007 mode. Their reactions to all sorts of mundane cultural changes would only be seen in a Hamish community that has had cable tv force fed into every household/.

Well. I will comment more on Daphne's article later in the day. For now I have discovered a lexicon of "politically correct" terms thatreaders might find handy. It is taken from an article that I stumbled across while reading ALdaily. Here goes the lexicon... it's long but worth it....

***

Politically Correct Lexicon

African American: In 1988 Jesse Jackson encouraged people to adopt this term over the then-used “black.” As he saw it, the words acknowledged black America’s ties to Africa. “African American,” says Hill, is now “used more by non-African-American people, who cling to it because they are unsure what word to use.” Sen says, “African American” is favored by “highly educated people who are not black. Whether one uses ‘black’ or ‘African American’ indicates how strong your social relations are with those communities.” And Chris Raab, founder of Afro-Netizen, says, “People who are politically correct chose to use African American, but I don’t recall any mass of black folks demanding the use of African American.”

Asian: The correct term to use for anyone of Asian ancestry. When accuracy is desired, nationality of origin is appended to “American,” as in “Korean American.” Sen, who describes herself as South Asian or Indian American, says that there is “some push around not conflating everybody into Asian. This is mostly an issue among new immigrants. If there hasn’t been time for a generation, it seems to be hard to move those folks to the Asian category.”

Bitch: A word, says Baim, which is “absolutely being reclaimed by a younger generation of women who are asserting their sexuality and control of their sexuality.” Successfully repurposed by Bitch magazine over the past decade, ‘Bitch’ is now becoming passé as less edgy writers like Cathi Hanauer, author of The Bitch in the House, adopt it. Similarly, though more slowly, “slut,” “whore” and “cunt” are being reappropriated. “The young people use those terms all the time teasingly and sometimes to even refer to themselves,” says Hill. “It is more common to hear someone say ‘I am a slut’ than ‘I am a whore.’ ” “Cunt” is gaining currency among some young lesbians, though Baim says it is a word that gets stuck in her throat. “While it is a reclaimed word, it is one I can hardly say, the same way some older blacks have trouble saying the n-word.”

Black: At Colorlines “black” is used with a capital B, while The Associate Press Stylebook advises use of the lower case.

Boi: A word, says Hill, that is “used by young queer people to refer to either young gay males or young females who are presenting as males.”

Brown: A general term for people who are not white. Colorlines uses “brown” in a casual or playful way. “We might have a headline ‘Brown People to the Back’ in a story about restaurant hierarchy,” Sen says. Sometimes used to refer to Latinos, as in the “black-brown” coalition that helped elect Harold Washington mayor of Chicago in 1983.

Chicano: Correct term for people of Mexican ancestry, popularized during the civil rights movement. “We use it to refer to U.S.-born people of Mexican descent,” says Sen. “Mexican American is the more distant, politer thing to say.”

Dyke: A word lesbians have reclaimed. Hill, however, says that among the young it is “on its way out.”

Fag (faggot): The new “queer.” “Like the n-word, it’s a word that can be said by gay people,” says Hill. “I hear ‘fag’ a great deal, especially among queer-identified young people, like ‘don’t be such a fag’ or ‘you are such a fag.’ “

Feminist: “A word that the younger generation doesn’t always embrace,” is how Baim, 44, describes it. A lot of young women, she says, are “feminists but they don’t want to be pigeonholed.” “Feminist somehow became a tainted word along the way,” says Hill. “I have heard a lot of people say, ‘this sounds feminist’ or ‘I used to be a feminist.’ “

Gay: The word used to refer to males and, inclusively, to the whole gender-bent community. “College-age people are more likely to refer to themselves as queer,” say Hill. “People out of college are more likely to refer to themselves as gay.”

Girl: “‘Girl’ is used by older women,” says Baim. “It is kind of nice because it used to be used derogatorily and now it is used in a fun way.”

GLBT: Shorthand for GLBTQ2IA.

GLBTQ2IA: The acronym for Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgendered, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Allies. “This is coming from the youth movement, the college campuses, it has not seeped into the whole community at this point,” says Baim, who at the Windy City Times uses GLBT, an acronym the New York Times has not yet seen fit to print.

Guys: Very controversial. Used, especially in the Midwest, when referring to a group of people. “In Chicago that word gets used a lot,” says Hill. And Baim says, “I use it all of the time.” Some feminists, like Andi Zeisler, the editor of Bitch, find “guys” problematic. “We assume the descriptor ‘guys’ denotes a quality of universality,” she says. “It would be hard to imagine a group of men being addressed by their server as ‘hey you gals’ and not taking offense, but the reverse happens all the time.”

Hir (hirs): Gender neutral for him and her. At Wesleyan University, incoming freshmen are instructed to use gender-neutral pronouns in campus correspondence. As one person wrote on the university’s online Anonymous Confession Board, “I am usually attracted only to people of hir original gender, rather than hir intended gender. As such, I’m afraid that I’m, like, viewing hir wrong, or not respecting hir wishes or something.”

Hispanic: “We never use Hispanic,” says Sen. “It privileges the European roots of the identity of Mexicans born in the United States.” Hispanic, however, is the preferred term of people in the Southwest whose families are descendents of Spanish colonists.

Indian: The preferred term for Native Americans. “Indians either use their specific tribal name or use Indian,” says Sen. “You use the qualifier American when you need to distinguish from Indian Indians.”

Latino: (Capital “L,” with “a” or “o” at the end used to connote gender.) Politically correct term for those from Spanish or Portuguese speaking cultures. “We use it instead of Hispanic when we want to refer to many different national groups where there has been an indigenous-European mix,” says Sen.

Lesbian: “The younger generations are less connected with the terms ‘gay’ and ‘lesbian’,” says Baim. “Lesbian is out of favor as a self-identifying label, it means something political, something more rigid than the younger generation is comfortable with.”

Macaca: The latinization of the Bantu “ma-kako,” meaning monkey. According to the Global Language Monitor, former Sen. George Allen (R-Va.) helped make this the most politically incorrect word of 2006 by using it to refer to an Indian American.

Native American: Some Indians object to the term, seeing it as a way to linguistically eradicate “Indian” and thus the history of their oppression by whites. “I almost always hear Native American, and in the more enlightened conversations there is usually ‘indigenous’ thrown in there somewhere,” says Lott. Sen says, “Native American seems to be a more distant construction, developed by academics.”

Nigger: “It is a word that white students struggle with and black students use pretty freely,” says Hill. “Young people are much more open to using it, especially young people who are black or who have been exposed to more diverse groups of people.” While Sen says, “I can’t imagine a political or a social multiracial situation where it would be appropriate, but I know that is because I am too old. The word is so prevalent in the popular youth culture, grounded in hip-hop, that I wouldn’t like to predict where that debate is going to end up. But if the popular culture ends up agreeing that it is okay to use, then I think there are a lot of pretty scary implications.”

Queer: Anyone who falls outside the lines of straight. “It has been reclaimed far ahead of faggot or dyke,” says Baim. “It is our buzz word,” says Columbia College’s Hill. “It is how we avoid saying all of those letters [GLBTQ2IA].” REM lead singer Michael Stipe, for example, is queer, not gay. “For me, queer describes something that’s more inclusive of the gray areas,” he told Butt, a pocket-sized Dutch “fagazine.” “It’s really about identity I think. The identity I’m comfortable with is queer because I just think it’s more inclusive.”

Transgendered: (trans) A person who is not presenting as their biological gender. “It is fascinating how transgendered is becoming like an octopus with all the tentacles of identity and personal design. The transgendered movement is burgeoning and fluid, they are creating all of these new ways to define who they are,” says Baim.

Ze: Gender neutral for he or she. As Mary Boenke writes on the PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) Web site: “When talking with Leslie Feinberg, noted transgender author, I asked Leslie which pronouns to use. Ze shrugged hir shoulders and said ze didn’t care.”

***

Unfortunately we do not foresee the revival of the word "pooftah" in the near future. For those who would really love to see it used by an Englishman (repeated several times on stage)... I definitely suggest Russel Brand's stand-up video... now there's a politically incorrect, queer looking, intelligent bloke if ever there was one!

Construction Beer

2007-02-21T15:42:00.000+01:00

So now the man known to Malta as ic-Caqnu will be making beer. What's next? Caqnu Cheese? We're looking forward for the first reports from our readers telling us whether Caqnu's Beer tastes good!

See Maltastar.

Switching Reader

2007-02-21T12:55:00.000+01:00

*Sneeze*

Still home. Still bloody sick.

Today I am switching my news aggregator for the third time. First it was Bloglines, then I switched to a cool gadget called Vienna, now I have decided that it will be Google Reader. Great news isn't it? Anyway, I played around with the aggregators until I found out that they do what they should logically do i.e. you can export your list of links from one aggregator to another using an .opml file.

*Sneeze*

The worst thing about this cold is the danger of whiplash injury. I do not remember ever having to sneeze so violently and risk grievous injury to the neck and spine. Day nurse supplies are finishing... will have to pop over to Little Britain later on. Unfortunately (or maybe not) the failure to recover from the rheum means that I will miss the Maltese Boys in Luxembourg night out to watch Rocky Balboa. Sad really.

*Sneeze - and wipe wet hand on bottom thigh part of jeans*

Anyways. So I am off to try and pick up some files from work. If I do not crash on the way that is... seeing as how I spin off uncontrollably everytime I need to sneeze.

*Sneeze*

Porci Volant

2007-02-20T22:59:00.000+01:00

Dedicated to Fausto Majistral

Shostakovich Minus One

2007-02-20T14:04:00.000+01:00

London: February 2007. The first day of the Chinese New Year and a not so casual encounter with three-fourths of the famed band "Shostakovich's Nightmare". Present at the Lemon Tree Pub - a stone's throw away from all the hubbub of Chinatown (and drinking long enough to miss the fireworks)... Job, Ton, Jack and Gringo (sounds cooler that way: actually from L to R Ton, Gringo, Jack and Job). Missing from the picture is guitarist Matthew Cuschieri who had no valid excuse to be in London that day.

The Non-Partisan

2007-02-20T13:36:00.000+01:00

Fausto seems to think that J'accuse has fallen into a trap. He has picked on our disclaimer that we appended to the post relating to the launching of Espresso. Fausto lectures us that any blog or opinion columnist worth his salt distinctively tows a particular political line. Which is true. Which is also what J'accuse does. I will never deny that j'accuse tows a very particular political agenda... It's own.

And that is where Thermidor got it all wrong. The mere fact that j'accuse's agenda coincides with that of a new journal that aims at creating a wider platform of expression beyond the folds of MLPN stained propaganda does not mean that j'accuse is suddenly an AD flag-waver.

We do not profess the "independence" of Orizzont or Torca style. No. We have an agenda that is ours and we will step into any area or medium that is convenient enough to plug that agenda. From divorce, to cheap travel, to greener policies, to getting rail to malta, to promiting the by now infamous third alternative.... we have our own mini manifesto that is not subject to any political party diktat.

The same applies to me personally (before J'Accuse existed). My endorsement of Arnold Cassola as EP candidate had very little to do with backing AD per se and very much to do with backing a like-minded candidate with the added bonus of pushing the third alternative agenda - which is not only mine but that of many others.

The difference between non-partisan, individual agenda and the yearning for that faux independence is that in our case we do not have to be apologists for no party. We do not feel compelled to justify ridiculous expenditures on Dar Malta (the price is expensive fullstop - I dn't care what Poland paid 10 years ago). We can criticise all and sundry... greens included (even on their own journal)...

... hell... we do not even hesitate to criticise the only blogger who deemed our blog worth nominating for the Malta Annual Blog Awards... How's that for non-partisan, real independence aye?

Times'R'Us

2007-02-20T11:28:00.000+01:00

I'm back from a wonderful London trip full of food, theatre, Chinese New Year and Spamalot. Many short posts will be put up later today - all related to the trip - and we also have to catch up with a few posts that have appeared here and there featuring this great blog of ours. We have all the time in the world since we have been struck with 'la grippe' (hopefully not aviaire).

In the meantime I came across this editorial on the Times (monday edition). A pleasant editorial dealing with "Truth and Politics" and that seems to have been triggered off by Brian Hansford's declaration that he had to choose between politics and truth.

Funny, but I seem to have read all about this a good number of days earlier... now where could that have been? In any case... it's good to see this kind of argument being picked up by the Times... jolly good indeed.

* And in answer to Kenneth... I disagree - the Google "L" cannot be substituted by a short stub on the end of a strawberry covered in chocolate. It was too displaced to be a substitution. But really... do we really care?

Brother Norbert fsc

2007-02-15T16:06:00.000+01:00

Dear Brother Norbert has left us. I did not spend much time at Stella Maris College, only three years in fact, but in that short time Brother Norbert and his welcoming smile at the door left a great impression. I met him frequently on my visits to the College where my mum still works and recently his eyes used to light up whenever I mentioned the fact that I live so close to his beloved France (and only four hours drive from Lyon).

He has gone to join Brother Peter and Brother Philip - those brothers whose names stick out from my time at the College. The freres are not as conspicuous as the jesuits in the execution of their mission. I have no doubt that they too leave a long lasting mark on whoever is lucky enough to be blessed with their hardworking presence.

God Bless You Brother Norbert!

To fear death, gentlemen, is no other than to think oneself wise when one is not, to think one knows what one does not know. No one knows whether death may not be the greatest of all blessings for a man, yet men fear it as if they knew that is is the greatest of evils. And surely it is the most blameworthy ignorance to believe that one knows what one does not know. - Plato, The Apology, Socrates.

Osing It

2007-02-15T15:33:00.000+01:00

I am one of the many people who uses Google at least once a day. If you are a like-minded internet user you would also know that Google regularly changes the look of its simple search page title in accordance to the particular event or celebration on a particular day. Yesterday, February 14th being St Valentine's many will have noticed the cute stylisation of the second G in google (see above) that was transformed into a chocolate wrapped strawberry. Very cutish as Hsejjes would say.

Many, including, myself would not have noticed that this particular version of the google title lacked the "L". Apparently this mistake lasted a whole day and was noticed by hundreds of bloggers who immediately asked "What is a Googe?"

Funny how sometimes the brain takes in a shape and assumes that it is always going to be the same and will ignore a missing particular. I know there are scientific studies about this... I just hope that you will notice that J'accuse will be missing from tomorrow through to Monday (inclusive) because I am off for a four-day visit to Londinium.

Don't be too naughty while I am gone and will someone please feed the godfish?

Be seeing you.

Valentine

2007-02-14T17:29:00.000+01:00

Having postponed the officious Valentine's dinner by a couple of days (we'll be Shabu Shabu-ing our valentine treat in a Japanese resto in London) I plan to spend the evening in the company of two charming blondes and a couple of lobsters. A bit of joie de vivre and je ne sais quoi is obviously involved... in the meantime let me wish a Happy Valentine to all of you out there... whatever that really means.

Luxembourg Forest Stolen

2007-02-14T09:16:00.000+01:00

From www.station.lu :

Forest Stolen

The police have appealed for information concerning a forest of trees that was reported missing yesterday.

The small forest "Glescht" near Mondorf lies about 1.5km from the road, and thieves drove up the laneway and helped themselves to 60 oak trunks which had been felled and stacked ready for transportation to a sawmill. The volume of wood is estimated at 90m3 which has a market value of 13,000 Euros.

The police suspect that the thieves used a car as well as a special transport lorry.

For information, contact the Mondorf police at tel: 24475-200.

***
Remember Dunsinane?

Malta Joins 'Axis of Evil'

2007-02-13T14:45:00.000+01:00

BBC news reports that Italy has just foiled a plan to supply thousands of weapons to Iraqi insurgents. A routine drugs investigation unearthed a veritable weapons ring that moved weapons from Libya to Iraq (presumably through Malta).

J'accuse reports that the although White House was caught unawares by the news, preliminary investigations by Bush's Rapid Intelligence Unit (R.I.D.I.C.U.L.O.U.S) found that Malta is an island Republic in the middle of the Mediterranean. The search had taken slightly more time than usual since the relevant information had confusingly been filed under the heading "Mintoff".

When asked to comment, President Bush remarked that the US was still unsure whether to add Malta to the Axis of Evil - particularly because of its strategic importance in the production of beer. "The people of the island seem to be particularly friendly having recently practically donated a huge chunk of their territory for the construction of a new embassy." - added America's number 1 [omissis].

J'accuse can also the reveal that the Maltese government will shortly announce strict collaboration with its American friends and make sure that any criminals will be brought to justice - preferably on CIA planes - directly to America or Rumania.

Finally, J'accuse can also reveal that the BBC, CNN, NBC and others are closing in on a scoop that will reveal that most Iraqi insurgents were originally trained by US militia during the Iraq-Iran war and that most Iraqi weapons also originated from the US of A.

With friends like these....

*****
FOOTNOTES

* Picture: Maltese supremo Lawrence "Slick" Gonzi seen here posing with Austin "Powers" Gatt... the next faces of the Axis of Evil??

** Nota Bene: None of the information given above is verifiable. All sources are questionable. As we say in Maltese "Ma min rajtek xebbahtek".

[ASIDE] What's all this rubbish in the international news trying to portray Malta as an arms shifting country? Do we really need proof that we would know nothing about this kind of deal? I mean can you imagine if GHKNK (federation of hunters) got wind of this deal? Now how many of you would really bet that the AK 47s would really end up in Iraqi hands and not in those of some triggerhappy cacciatore? Give us a break will you?

Can't Be Bothered

2007-02-13T09:54:00.000+01:00

From today's Times of Malta:

Return of Historical Items

No official requests were made in recent years for the return of items of historical importance taken away from Malta, Tourism and Culture Minister Francis Zammit Dimech said yesterday.

He was replying to a parliamentary question by Nationalist MP Franco Galea who asked if any contacts had been made for the return of items taken from Malta during the French and British occupations of Malta, specifically La Valette's sword which was taken to France.

***

Duh!

The Politics of Truth (contd.)

2007-02-11T20:44:00.000+01:00

Some days ago I blogged about the relationship between politics, politicians and truth. Serenditipitous wanderings led me to an article in the UK Independent (no link - print edition) about Barak Obama - the latest obstacle to Hillary Clinton's quest for her husband's old seat. The article by Rupert Cornwell began with an interesting assertion that fits in nicely with the gist of what I had said in the previous post:

A gaffe, they say in politics, is when someone inadvertently blurts out the truth.

See?

See you on Monday.

Feasibly Possible

2007-02-09T09:37:00.000+01:00

The two words in the title (feasibly possible) caught my attention this morning. I noticed that they seem to be a waste of words since as a matter of fact both words say the same thing. "Feasible" is doable... like "faisable" in French and "fattibile" in Italian. "Possible" means "can be done" as in "doable". See where I am going? Why do we say "feasibly possible" when "feasible" or "possible" could be enough.

I suspect that "possible" qualifies the moment of "feasibility" in a very subtle nuance. "Feasibly possible" thus becomes when the feasibility becomes possible - feasibily referring to whatever it is that should become doable and possible referring to the doability of the feasibility itself.

Right. That solved it. Maybe.

Now for an ad. This month sees the Official Launching of espresso.com.mt after some months of test publishing. Espresso has a clear green line behind it and is a sort of voice of alternattiva demokratika. No. I have not got a tessera yet... and will probably never do ... prefering to be a one-man influence on all changes possible (or feasible). Anyone questioning the independence of j'accuse should be comforted by the fact that I will write on any paper that allows added expression away from the nodes of power monopolised by they who must be elected at all costs.

So yes. The added benefit of espresso is that you will find a j'accuse column there once a week. Is there anything you could want more in life?

Ok. Ok. No need to answer that one.

Add espresso to your RSS feed or a be a conservative, status-quo-protecting, minority trouncing, wishy-washy, void-of-all-decision-making individual. Or just subscribe on the site itself. Reading new ideas never harmed anyone... until now it has not been feasibly possible to do so.

Short from the Court

2007-02-09T00:15:00.000+01:00

Di-ve reports another case from Malta's criminal courts. We do not normally deal with this kind of story but two elements attracted our critical eye:

1. The name. JOSWIL. This should teach parents. Be careful what to call your offspring. You never know when they will get their few moments of fame... and to get caught with a name like that.

2. Then there was the guy who met Joswil outside the restaurant. The witness told the court that when he met Joswil outside he was "full of anger". Dear dear. So what does our witness decide to do? "He tried to calm him down by offering him a coffee but he then left." As usual di-ve regales us with a profligacy of "he"s to the point where we do not know if "he" is Joswil or the witness. Better than that is the genius of said witness. A coffee to calm someone down? Now that's one I had never heard before. He should have been jailed.

3. Do note how the girlfriend's surname changes from Bickle to Bickley half way through the story. A bit fickle don't you think?

Violence is Stupid

2007-02-08T12:07:00.000+01:00

In the early nineties (a nice way to say "around 1991") I used to write for the MZPN magazine for Gozo called "mill-Pjazza" (incidentally a name that inspired Lou to name his eponymous programme - though he would never admit it). Following my clashes with Fr. Cilia at Saint Aloysius' College because of controversial articles I penned in the magazine of the now defunct Ghaqda Liberali Riformista (Lehnek!), "mill-Pjazza" provided me with a second experience facing people who manifestly disagree with what you write.

In the case of Fr. Cilia I (and my Liberal colleagues) had been threatned with expulsion should we continue to disseminate such liberal filth in the hallowed corridors of Jesuit establishments. The treatment reserved to me in Gozo was rather more direct. Having written an article criticising the "sport" of hunting I was the target of a couple of empty beer bottles thrown in my direction while I was attempting to get to my favourite pastizzi place - it-Tapie, in St Francis Square, Victoria.

No matter how far I stretch my limits of tolerance I fail to see anything positive around hunters and hunting in general. To me they remain a step before the great leap to the age of Homo Sapiens. Forget about hunter to hunter gatherer to tesserat tal-partit. They jut got blocked at phase one. Some time last week Espresso had come out with a story uncovering messages of violence on the internet forum of the Malta Federation of Hunters. Today's Times reports that the police are following up on the matter and also interviews Lino Farrugia (Secretary. Hunter's Federation).

Here's what the hunting head honcho had to say when asked to react to messages inciting the use of arms (one message reminded hunters that they are all armed and more numerous than police and soldiers put together)....

"People are angry, they cannot be treated this way and we intend speaking about this on Thursday, (...) It's an expression of anger... no I don't see it as being problematic".

Incredible isn't it. This guy leads a lobby group of 7000 people. He is not a man enough to distance himself from the hotheads within his group. No. They are not the problem he says. It is the law that tries to reign in the animal side of our behaviour that is the problem. It is unfair. You have to understand them he will tell you... they would not be angry if they got what they wanted.

Across the channel another lazy government (the last in a series of governments) has finally woken up to the stupidity of giving in to hooligans, teppisti and violent numbskulls. The new measures should improve il Calcio (though much still needs to be done). Even there we had an idiot like Matarrese saying that deaths are part of the game and that the show must go on. Even there it was a case of a few hotheads thinking they are stronger than the law because they too can be armed.

How long before everybody realises violence is stupid? Whether it is Lehnek!, mill-Pjazza, Espresso.com.mt, J'Accuse or any other medium we will keep on repeating that mantra...

Violence is stupid.

The True Bandwagon

2007-02-07T11:00:00.000+01:00

Interviewed in the Times today, former MLP executive member Brian Hansford states that his decision to bow out of politics and concentrate on his work in the media came at a time when he had to choose between "truth and politics". Nothing new under the sun – it is not only those who like myself endlessly complain about the value void of power-mongering politics, who are aware of this huge crater that has slowly been created. More and more politicians seem to accept the status quo of opportunistic policies, populistic (not always popular) decision making and pacts with the devil's cousin's uncle as being the best way to move. To move – not necessarily forward – but to move on in a battle to occupy the middleground that automatically promotes you as the supposed leader of the country.

"Truth in politics" has always been a euphemism for the "politics of truth", let us not kid ourselves. It was not Mintoff, Mifsud Bonnici, Fenech Adami, Sant or Gonzi who discovered it one fine summer day in Castille. The politics of truth is a game that is as old as politics itself. That is why the person running a National Statistics Office is a crucial pawn in the great battlefield of political truth. You know how it goes… Lies, Damned Lies and Political Party Propaganda… or something like that.

We just have the feeling that the changing face of society has forced the political machines to badly adapt themselves to change. They honed their propaganda machines and polished their spinning and while the new ranks were fed with the most gullible and apologetic lot ever to have mumbled the word partitarju even the old ranks began to believe their own lie. From Bush to Blair to Berlusconi to the people closer to home the new breed of politics is just a very badly recycled old system. New Labour and Surviving Nationalist is nothing more than a regurgitating of old spin channelled through monopolised media and fed to the most gullible – just the right amount to keep out the free thinking persons who want to live in the twenty-first century.

Any threat to this 'hegemony of the stupefying' is quickly countered by a block resistance that mutates in such petty exercises as toying with electoral standards. Thinking different is not an option. Those who do try will be accused of "riding on everybody's bandwagon (and) falling short of saying how (they) would implement what (they) talk about."

To the old guard talking about l-ambjent is still "riding on the bandwagon". To them raising awareness about overdevelopment and excessive building practices is "riding on the bandwagon". To them the right to choose between divorce and separation is the activity of the liberal corrupt. To them the idea of obliging parties to clearly show their sources of funding is a load of claptrap. To them these liberals are oversimplifying the complex and convoluted aspects of politics that would better be left to the experts with a pedigree… to them politics is for the chosen advocates who have a monopoly on truth, on the government and ultimately on the people themselves.

"There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!" – Terry Pratchett, The Truth

Piggyback

2007-02-05T18:46:00.000+01:00

So much to blog about but so little time to do so. Or maybe I cannot get my ideas in order with this virus freeriding my body. So I have decided to piggyback onto a post I liked... and which spoke about something that I wanted to blog about myself. Ladies and gentlemen:

Neebother asks for ideas.

Satire at Last

2007-02-03T20:02:00.000+01:00

Regular readers of this blog will surely be familiar with our strong belief in all things satirical. In the distant past of the Maltese blogosphere we had our own share of tiffs with those who did not savour the satirical pill too well. Anyways, bygones are bygones and we applaud the decision of the chairman of the National Folklore Commission to reintroduce satire in the national carnival. I used to look at pre-1936 carnival floats with envy - they wasted no opportunity to satirise the politicians of the moment... let us hope that this careful step ushers in a new moment wherein we learn a little more about laughing about ourselves.

Elsewhere a Thermidor moment pokes fun at the Green's aim of 2,000 votes in one district. The Greens become a little practical about their electoral aims and Thermidor goes ballistic. A marked contrast with the deafening silence which shrouded the MLPN agreement on Elections and all things Duopolistic. And since when does mixing national thresholds with districtual ones become a sensible statistical exercise?

Of course it exists Fausto... it's just that you choose (conveniently) to be too blind to see it.

Mediterranean Weaknesses

2007-02-03T12:36:00.000+01:00

Went to see my doctor this morning. Seems that I have a virus. It also turns out that since I am a "mediterranean type" I am more exposed to such viruses than the Luxembourgers who have become immune to them by now. I would have thought that three years in the Duchy would have sufficed for the body to decide what new immunities it should develop. Anyways... the sun is shining outside so I am NOT staying inside... will sleep off any sickness during the night but the day is for enjoying.

"Sun is shining.... weather is sweet"

Sick

2007-02-02T18:53:00.000+01:00

Don't you just hate it when you get that sickness feeling on Friday afternoon? You have just managed to scrape to a heavy working week and the weekend you have been looking forward to is just a few minutes away... suddenly the alarm lights are ringing - that whistling in your ear, that feverish feeling, that nausea and those weak muscles.

Great. This must mean a weekend in. Guess I will break the no blogging on a weekend rule in that case.

BTW I've changed the pic in the banner. It's taken by Mel.... people skating on the ice rink in Central Park, NY. Changed the one in Kinnie & Twistees too... that's my dad, somewhere near Verdun.

Liberals of the Island Unite

2007-02-01T11:02:00.000+01:00

The promise that Norman Hamilton's column seemed to show in its first appearance in the Times seems to have considerably dissipated. Between Eurovision voting quandaries, weighty considerations about Manwel Dimech Bridge, underqualified radio presenters and a drawl about some book he is reading (summarised by giving us a list of the main characters) there is little to pick on other than the emptiness of the column itself. We could have done without this new addition to the galaxy of opinion writers writing for the esteemed paper.

Which gives me some space to point out a brilliant article by Daphne in the Indy. Incidentally the Indy rarely has more than one opinion column per edition... a stress on quality vs quantity, no doubt. I liked all Daphne's article - from start to finish - especially since there is no attack on Gozo and Gozitanness (or Gozitanity), but I do believe that the conclusion merits reproduction right here (in case you are lazy enough not to read the whole thing):

A government that wants to keep Malta a paradise for bird-shooters, for anti-divorce Catholics of the mealy-mouthed by-the-book variety, and for foetus-fetishists, is a backward-looking one. In seeking to maintain Maltese society in a state of retardation, the government is going to create a massive schism where previously there was homogeneity of sorts. The Maltese who want to live secular modern lives in a Malta that is part of contemporary Europe will wrench themselves away from those who cling to a misguided nostalgia for a mythical island and a way of life that exists only in their imagination.

There never was a blissful past in Malta, just as there never was one anywhere else in Europe. The present is by far the more wonderful, comfortable, convenient, secure, safe and amusing. If we go with it, it can only get better. But we can’t do so as long as the bird-shooters, rosary-fingerers and foetus-frenzied are clinging to our coat-tails and dragging us down. The only way to shake them off is with a pair of scissors to cut them loose, and that, of course, is where the schism starts. The division of the future is not going to be the old one between Labour and Nationalist, but the new one between the liberals who want to inhabit the contemporary world and the illiberal who want to remain denizens of a non-existent past. You mark my words. It’s happening already.

My highlighting of course. The real pity is that in all probability more people will be worried about the fact that the final round of the Song for Europe will only have televoting than about anything that Daphne has to write about.

Sahhiet.

Gozo Ladies' Circle

2007-01-31T08:34:00.000+01:00

In the bygone days of social philantropy where hobnobbing and charity went hand in hand and when the development of one's very own coterie depended on the discovery of a just cause for which to raise funds, in those halcyon days, Ladies' Circles were foremost in this noble activity of dosh-dishing. The Lions' Club never really developed the Lions' Maids (would have been quite a story) but I did find that these organisations had a slightly male chauvinist approach to society. The men were busy Presiding, Secretary Generalling and all that while the Ladies would be a-bakin' the cakes so that later they could be manning the sales stands and raise those few pennies for the paupers.

This unequal distribution of tasks between the males and females of this species persisted right through the eighties and early nineties and has a surviving element with the President's wife's role in the national charity. While President whoever goes about Presiding (which from a distance seems to imply sitting on a funny chair in St. John's Co-C. whenever some big mass is being said) the wife of said President is dragged into the social scene in the Community Chest Fund.

Anyways. After this interesting observation I feel confident enough to inform you that I do not remember what kicked off this rant in the first place. Consider it a morning tick that just came to me when I read di-ve's news item stating that Mme Giovanna Debono has declared 2007 an outstanding year for Gozo. Long gone (by a century or so) are the days when someone could confidently state that Mme Debono's would better serve the country a-bakin' than a-minsterin' (and thank G for that). Less distant are the days when the hypocrytical division of labour hid behind the face of charitable enterprises conjured up for the bakers to bake and sell.

So what? So what I am saying in a most convoluted way is that in the politically correct, emancipated 2000s we can only disagree with mme GD. - without implying anything further. Mme GD is happy that Gozo will have an outstanding year. Why?

1. The hospital will get a better dining room and thus health services on the island will be improved.

2. More courses for Gozitan citizens at the Gozo ministry (expect a Daphne remark about the Bachelor's Degree in Dog Mutilation for Farmers)

3. Then there's the funny one. "Referring to developments of the physical environment of the island" GD tells us that many of the main roads will be given attention (including Ramla Road). Some Nationalist ministers still believe that by throwing in the word "environment (ambjent)" they can get away with anything. While road resurfacing is a welcome activity it is not exactly environmental in the green sense of the word.

Having concluded the whirlwind view of the projects for an outstanding year for Malta Giovanna adds that these are only highlights of the projects that are inline for Gozo. Scary isn't it? I mean the island's economy is not exactly flourishing, the transporation to and within the island is a disgrace and the only thing the Minister can come up with is flower pots in roundabouts and a dining room for the sick. Much as I admire the verve with which GD had taken on the political fortunes of the island that deserves a party of its own I am afraid that ideas have long run dry in the island of strange occurrences.

An intelligent green business plan linking all sectors of the economy and an even greener would have been more of a boon for Gozo. It's not that opportunities are not lacking.

Daphne seems to have that permanent chip about Gozo. Giovanna does not seem to have any concrete ideas for improvement. So much for the Gozo Ladies' Circle!

P.S. And for that wonderful leap into 21st century womanhood read this letter from Veronica Berlusconi to her husband - published today in La Repubbica.

Adopt-a-Gay (Take One Get Two)

2007-01-30T09:03:00.000+01:00

A Maltastar blunder kicks off this chilly Tuesday. The title "Gay couples to be considered for adoption" struck me as a tad bit inaccurate. Apart from the childish attempt at making its Maltese readers believe for one second that this referred to Malta and not to the UK, the title seems to imply that we could soon be able to adopt a gay couple of our choice... hmmmm.

Dilemma Solved

2007-01-29T20:12:00.000+01:00

Back home after heavy workday. To cook or to blog? Easy.

Caramelised Eel with sushi rice on the way.

Sorry. Back tomorrow.

Jack and the Beangrowers

2007-01-28T18:57:00.000+01:00

I know it's a bit like cheating... but here's a message that I received from Alison of Beangrowers fame:

***
Hi we're Beangrowers

yep, that band from Malta.

after releasing our first 2 albums in Germany ,
we finally managed, on our 3rd album to get that
very important record deal in the UK.

since January 2007 (in the UK) charts are compiled weekly according to internet downloads.

This is were u come in!

Help us be the 1st maltese band ever to get in the UK charts!!
(even a top 40 would be an absolute dream!)

This is how it works:
Tell all your friends (Il-Maltin kollha!! :) ) about it, and then :
All of u have to buy (sorry, but it's the only way, only 79p!!)
our single I LIKE YOU from www.itunes.co.uk between 30.1.07 and 3.2.07
(but even in the weeks after it will count also)

and Maltese Music will be in the UK charts..!!!

it doesnt take too many people as long as they all buy it in the same week.
(only buys from within the UK are counted)

Thanks so much for your support and spread the word !

Ian , Mark & Alison (Beangrowers)

www.itunes.co.uk (search beangrowers I LIKE YOU)

www.myspace.com/beangrowers

***

Seedily Yours
J'Accuse

Sunday Logic

2007-01-28T16:29:00.000+01:00

1. Not all Maltese are practising Catholics.

2. Introducing divorce in Malta will not oblige anyone to divorce, it will just make it possible.

3. The Church position on divorce is not what needs to be changed. The Church has every right to campaign against the introduction of divorce.

4. People who are in favour of the introduction of divorce are free not to be members of the Catholic Church. They can still call themselves christians if they like.

5. Hoping that Archbishop Paul comes up with a Santian u-turn and suddenly declares that the Church would like to have divorce introduced in Malta is ridiculous.

6. Whetever happened to give unto Ceasar what is Ceasar's?

7. Why do we live in a society where these things still need spelling out?

Meanwhile more of Daphne on Gozo (about Archbishop Mercieca):

Raised in a Gozitan village at a time when Gozitan villages might as well have been in the remote mountainous interior of contemporaneous Sicily or Greece, he failed to adapt to the style of urban Malta in the dying years of the 20th century and the first years of the 21st. He is a very nice man and a kind-hearted one, but that is not enough for the job. He was like a man plucked out of one period and thrown into another, reacting with shock and bewilderment at what he saw. He seemed to have the rather touching naïve belief that, if people tried hard enough, things could go back to what they were in the Gozo of his 1930s childhood, with the churches packed solid and the parish priest interfering in daily life to keep us all on what the Catholic Church says is the straight and narrow path to heaven, while the spirit of Christianity gets trampled on in the rush to the confessional box.

I.M. Jack

2007-01-26T10:37:00.000+01:00

The Pharaoh Hound as best seen - i.e. alive and well, breathing and running playfully. Unfortunately centuries of breeding managed to create a breed that is resistant to sandfly but not to beating with an iron bar followed by hanging. J'Accuse condemns any acts of violence on animals and all reference to dog bashing in this post are intended to be sarcastic (just in case you do not get the point).

Yep. It's Friday not Saturday. But seeing that I promised myself to try to limit blogging on weekends the I.M. Jack section had to find its place somewhere else... and why not Friday ... a good day as any for a pillorying round up of the weekly news.

I. Short, Frank and Salt
Lanzarote's recent analysis of the analysts concluded on the short supply of quality columnists in the Maltese MSM. Mr Frank Salt was mentioned as being one of the frequently pilloried victims of J'accuse's cabbage throwing enterprises. And there is a reason for that (yes, I do like to start sentences with And *wink to Kenneth*). I know of no other columnist who manages to conjure up a contribution to the Times that smacks like an "essay" written for your religious doctrine homework. Here's an extract for your consumption (materialistic of course), the rest speaks for itself:

Our Catholic religion is not very strict; it just asks us to be good, behave properly, practise the teachings of Christ, and be present at Mass on a Sunday and on holy days of obligation if we possibly can. Our religion teaches us nothing else but good things, and ways to lead a peaceful life and, at the same time, give help to others.

Another Friday perpetrator of opinionist crimes is the Wise Old Man Alfred Mifsud. I particularly loved this weeks conclusion - as Dickensian as it gets... following a protracted reasoning that the implies that the church should somehow change its stand on divorce (!!!) he ends with a blessing for the incumbent Archbishop: "May God bless you and be with you Archbishop Cremona." Touching.

II. Gozo has gone to the Dogs
I have this gut feeling that DCG does not like Gozitans. Her latest descriptions of goings-on in the Island include the title "island of strange occurrences". True, the Munxar local council's activities and the dog killers' actions are not something to be proud of. But why is it that when something atrocious, appalling or illegal happens in Gozo it is the fault of the weird nature of the Gozitans, of the Gozitan omertà and of their unwillingness to submit to the law. If the same things happen in Malta (and they do) it is not because they are Maltese but some other trumped up reason (such as rural) comes up. I would not expect such generalisations from DCG but it would really seem that when it comes to Gozo it's not just a chip that she has on her shoulder... but a whole friture shack of the Belgian kind.

And (again) it would seem that it is not only DCG who thinks that Gozo is up for special treatment. Look at Harry today:

Is that why the Gozitan kerb tradition is completely on its own unique trajectory? Is it because bureaucreats in Malta have always dismissed Gozo? Are chaotic pavements a public assertion of clan and family claims or a monument to
administrative neglect spanning the centuries?

Ah that Gozitan clan. I can't wait to get back to Gozo and don my tartan "Ta' Zerrek" kilt, wear my sheep's wool body warmer and go hang a few dogs off the edge of too high a pavement. I never really liked the bastards anyway... skinny looking scavengers who used to scarew the bejeezus out of me when I used to ride my bike around Marsalforn (stopping to piss against every other corner to assert my territorial supremacy of course). Time for a gbejna break.... then I'm off to Munxar for a baseball match on the new concrete diamond pitch we will be constructing on the hills this afternoon (MEPA permission pending). The Munxar Crew will be facing the Sannat Posse and I'm sure there will be a huge turnout.

III. Archbishop's First in Valletta
For the factoid freaks among you make sure you take note that this is the first time in our country's history that the new Archbishop will be ordained in Città Umilissima instead of in the Città Nobile. Pawlu from the Duminku side has opted to break with a centuries old tradition and shifted all the celebrations and pomp to the City of Notte Bianca and Notte Magica. It's time for the Pomeriggio Religioso.... be there or be a divorce loving, embryo threatening, materialistic, wishy washy liberal.

IV. The Contributing Factor
Yesterday's Times editorial was pleasantly surprising. It's unqualified call to better control funding of political parties can only be applauded from these quarters. We are not alone in seeing this as a reasonable step away from the MLPN dominance that is only a myth in some quarters.

V. Edge
Xifer is on its slow but sure way back to the blogosphere. We spotted the quiet return thanks to our Bloglines list which detected some new uploading happening in that corner. Mark is not yet fully out of hibernation but he will surely be a welcome re-addition to this end of the blogosphere. We are still waiting for Maqluba to wake up though!

VI. You can be 1/100.000
The Official J'accuse Competition to commemorate the 100,000th click has started slowly, very slowly. No one has written in yet... which is just not cricket. I did promise a J'Accuse mug to boot (carrying a slogan "It was either cushion the entire planet or just your brain"). So here are the rules again. Contribution must have a maximum of 100 words in any of the following languages: Maltese, English, Italian, French and Spanish. They must sum up what the writer thinks about J'Accuse whether positive or negative. They can either be posted in any comment on the blog or sent to jacques dot zammit at gmail dot com. Competition closes with the 100,000th hit on J'Accuse.

God Bless Us All (and Archbishop Cremona)

Officially False

2007-01-25T16:19:00.000+01:00

Today's Times reports that the planned visit to Malta by Britain's deputy Prime Minister John Prescott had to be postponed because of a last minute engine hitch in the private jet that was supposed to bring Prescott to Malta. J'accuse's gossip reporters have unearthed a hidden reason behind Prescott's last minute forfait. It would appear that the Deputy Dawg discovered the following information on the website of upstart Labour politician Aaron Farrugia:

ahh before I forget, John Prescott is visiting Malta this week. Who cares to meet this guy? If Blair, Gordon Brown or rising star David Miliband was coming instead, I would have tried to fix a short meeting. But please, not Prescott.

It would seem that Deputy JP was extremely disappointed that he would not be able to meet this rising Labour star and preferred not to visit than suffer the humiliation of being turned down at the last moment - stile Bush in Iraq.

J'accuse's stealth spies also report that both Gordon Brown's and David Miliband's entourages seem to be scrambling to be the first to meet our Maltese hero - hopefully at the Hamrun Band Club where there would be maximum press exposure.

We did not try to contact Prescott, Brown, Miliband or Farrugia so no confirmation could be had of the above information.

Why Blog?

2007-01-24T11:15:00.000+01:00

I. Barefoot Blogging
Darren Barefoot is a Canadian blogger (amongst other occupations) who will soon be heading to the Med for a six-month stint in my Gozo (that most beautiful of islands). Darren's profession leads him to ask questions about Bloggers and blogging and he has just set up a survey asking that most existential of questions: Why do you Blog? Take some time to fill out the survey and also to visit Darren's homepage... he'll need some tips when he starts settling into the Island where time stood still.

II. The "I'm 1 in 100,000" J'Accuse competition
As I mentioned fleetingly in an earlier post, J'Accuse is fast approaching its Second Birthday as well as its 100,000th hit. To celebrate this not-so-monumental event we have decided to have a mini-competition. Readers (lovers and haters alike) are being asked to send in a 100 word comment stating what you like/dislike about J'Accuse. The jury panel of one (Me) will award the prize to the most entertaining of these comments - such prize being a custom made J'Accuse Mug from the now not so operative J'accuse souvenir section. All you have to do is post a comment anywhere on the blog with "I',m 1/100,000" in the title and bob's your uncle.

2007-01-24T10:25:00.000+01:00

Michael Mifsud

First goal for Coventry FC

Edge

2007-01-23T21:25:00.000+01:00

I may be sticking my neck out. I may be wrong and I may be doing something I would not normally do.... but I predict he will be back soon.

Podofelinus (Pussyfoot)

2007-01-23T15:12:00.000+01:00

That venerable Sunday paper called Maltatoday only reaches us expats on a Tuesday afternoon - this is probably due to the delay of uploading the rag in the hope that a few more copies are sold before everybody rushes to read the (free) electronic version. It is probably also the reason why the Malta Times is not online before 10 a.m. And it makes sense.

Anyways. All this to help you understand why our fresh pillorying of the great Hogan is happening today id est Tuesday ... a good two days after his works have been published. Hogan has an article called "How to pussyfoot" in this edition and we are, as always, thankful for this mass of discombobulated pontification from the faux liberal pulpit.

In this particular edition Hogan is intent on pillorying (yep he's at it too) my former Criminal Law lecturer - poor Silvio Camilleri - who is busy Attorney Generalling and representing the Maltese State in issues and instances before the Commission of the European Communities. The usual waiver resulting from my current occupation applies and therefore I will minimise my intervention to correcting a factual error committed by Hogan... to be exact ....this one:

For those who have no spare time for our feathered creatures, it would be helpful to point out that Malta was presented with an infringement procedure last November. The infringement procedure is what Malta as an EU member state was awarded for having allowed hunting to continue in Spring. After an infringement procedure runs its course through comings and goings from Brussels, an EU member state gets to face hefty fines, daily.

So. According to Hogan once an infringement procedure runs its course a state is subject to hefty daily fines. Erm. Not exactly. You see the infringement procedure is just the beginning. As has been explained in this blog before, it is just the first step. Once the Commission vs Malta battle is exhausted on the political and diplomatic front - an exhaustion that involves much exchange of letters, documents and toing and froing of poor Silvio to Brussels there can be two outcomes.

Either the Commission concludes that Malta has satisfied whatever the Commission wanted Malta to satisfy. And no fines. Or the Commission still believes that Malta is in infringement of Community law and will therefore drag Malta (and Silvio) by the hair to explain itself before the Court Justice of the European Communities in Luxembourg. That is another procedure Hogan. It is in fact the procedure that MIGHT end up with Malta facing hefty fines. Yes even daily fines. See?

And once we are on the subject of law and pleading let us take a look at the attempted character assassination of the abovementioned AG Camilleri. Hogan first admits that he has no clue as to who Dr Camilleri is and then proceeds to sow seeds of doubt about this persons abilities. He claims that Dr Camilleri is not well versed in all things avian and therefore is not the right person to represent our venerable state in the matter. I personally have no idea whether Camilleri can tell a budgie from a parakeet, and quite honestly I don't think it makes a difference...

Why? Because, Mr Balzan, lawyers are trained to read and understand the application of the law. Nowadays laws range from the classification of products for the purposes of customs to the regulation of complex networking systems for the internet to the care of milking cows, the transportation of animals and the killing of birds. Is Mr Balzan implying that every lawyer should know everything under the sun before embarking on a case in a specialised area of law?

By analogy to Mr Balzan's argument a journalist should not report about anything he does not fully comprehend. He should limit himself to reporting whatever it is he studied in Journalism School. Journalists should not report anything wihtout having first completed a course of studies in the subject being reported upon. Hux Hekk Salv?

But then what on earth would there be left for to Hogan write about?
Pussyfooting indeed. Obviously not! (as I am sure Silvio would say)

Coalescence

2007-01-23T11:00:00.000+01:00

Not much time to blog right now - my work desk resembles a paperwork mass meeting and I am aeons behind in my reviewing duties. So I will point you to two separate bits of reading which should entertain you until I find a free minute to blog more extensively.

1. Victor Galea on the Times. Ad General Secretary's reposte to Victor Scerri's article that all but excluded any possibility of considering coalition governments in Malta's future.

2. Lanzarote (Pillory). David almost puts J'accuse at the top of his favourite list. Alas Lanzarote cannot resist sideward jabs (or maybe slips) like "masters of ridicule" or placing Mathieu Cilia in the same cuff as great whippersnappers like ourselves. You know what they say about the cow and sale thereof... what we did like is the implication that our agenda is the exposition of the unfortunate reality of Maltese politics and opinion column writing. Yes, it is part of the agenda on what is "Probably Malta's Most Popular Blog"!

* P.S. We are fast approaching 100,000 hits. I promise a J'accuse t-shirt to the best 100 words which sum up what you like or dislike about J'Accuse - the competition will remain open until the 100,000th hit is reached. The prize will go to the best written - and it could easily go to someone who dislikes the blog... although I do not know what he/she would do with the t-shirt then! Submissions can be placed in comments in any of my posts... just place "I'M 1/100,000" in the Title.

Oddity

2007-01-22T16:01:00.000+01:00

The KKK's costume (call it a uniform if you like) has something intrinsically comic about it. From my point of view a grown up with a sack on his body and head could never be menacing. It is the ideas behind the Cuckoo Clan that are worrying and criticisable. Let's face it. Had this been a Boy Scout uniform in lieu of being that of a supremacist, racist group of bigot fanatics it would be much funnier than it actually is. Put the uniform in a different context though. Put the white supremacists donning their silly uniforms on a ferris wheel posing for a group photo on and around the entertainment contraption. It's not just odd. It's almost hilarious. Almost. For behind those masks there still lie minds full of obnoxious hate and willingness to spread terror on their "inferiors".

This photo from this blog inspired this blogpost. Put something out of context and suddenly all that it means or represents is placed head over heels. Do that constantly and suddenly any threat, menace or meaning it might originally have will actually be nullified and replaced by the new ridiculous caricature. Repetitive instances of caricaturisation can have long term damaging effects.

Now why do I suddenly find myself thinking about Malta's stance in the EU about divorce? Why do I find myself wondering whether we will ever slip out of this caricature perpetrated by the holier-than-themselves Nationalists and the once-bitten-twice-shy Labourites?

"Gadzooks and Gee Whizz 'arry... that darn wheel sure gave me head a fine ol'spinnin... Ah'm left 'ere feelin' giddy an' all that. Another o' dem spins 'n my codger'll staht thinkin' like some doggone gawliwawg... "

J'Accuse Switches off Weekends

2007-01-20T14:35:00.000+01:00

In an effort to minimise blog dependency and maximise weekend enjoyment, J'Accuse will not for the time being include posts on Saturday or Sunday. Weekend posts will obviously be the exception to the rule. Apologies for the tautology.

J'accuse... punditry worth reading

Boo!

2007-01-19T13:34:00.000+01:00

After Harry.

BOO!

What are they all waiting for? When will they feel free to speak their minds and act upon their opinions? What on earth is there to fear? Sometimes I feel we are living a belated falling-of-the-wall era. We have nothing to fear but fear itself and it becomes more obvious everyday. We are trapped in a soap bubble and we are afraid to breathe. If just 2,000 of us decide to say boo in just one electoral district, everything changes.

Surviving Kyrill

2007-01-19T09:12:00.000+01:00

Storm wind warnings were the norm yesterday. In Luxembourg fonctionnaires were let off work early in order that they avoid communting during the peak hours of the storm. In neighbouring France and Germany schools and public parks were closed, many flights were cancelled and high-speed trains switched to low speed as a safety precaution. Surely many of you must have read about Hurricane Kyrill that has swept through Western Europe with a vengeance.

HK's path has been a reminder of the West-East divisions pre-Cold War since once again it was first the founding members of the EU that found themselves in the news (maybe we heard a little less from the Duchy.... but that's no change). By late night and early this morning Poland was the first of the new entrants to feel the brunt of the wind (with some casualties already being reported). It thus became ironic that the BBC news report ended with the statement:

The winds are only expected to weaken once they reach Russia and the Ukraine.

A bit like Euro-enthusiasm, the strength of this cold front is lost by the time it reaches the borders of the Union. Of course this is just a fantastical metaphor and we all know that a bit like Global Warming, questions about the EU are constantly being made across the Old Continent... wind or no wind.

Here in the Duchy the howling winds seem to have lessened though they do not seem to be anywhere near the vanishing point. From my vantage point over the Parc de Merl I can still see the trees wiggle and shake in their very woody rock and roll fashion. Rain is still a constant and the temperature is not that low. Luxembourg news is slow in the coming though I can reproduce the snippet from those lads at www.station.lu:

The storm which is currently passing across Europe swept down from the British Isles and crossed Belgium, France, The Netherlands, Luxembourg, Germany, the Czech Republic and othe countries yesterday. In Luxembourg, the emergency services received around 450 calls of which 250 concerned trees being damaged, blown over or uprooted. Winds were strong, with the highest recorded speed being 115 km/h at Troisvierges. Many roads were closed, cellars and roads became flooded, rooves were damaged and an increase in traffic accidents was reported. The swimming pool in Mondercange was damaged, and an Marnach the storm ripped a whole roof off a house. The Esso petrol station in Gaichel had to fight against flooding. The Attert river in Reichlingen und Bissen was at dangerously high levels. The "Inspection du Travail et des Mines" warned against working and operating machinery outdoors, and forbid the use of cranes during the day. Many flights coming in and out of Luxembourg airport were cancelled or experienced delays, due to the high winds. The storm is expected to abate during today (Friday).

I leave you with this image... of high winds at the Three Virgins (Troisvierges), rooves (sic) being damaged, 250 phone calls concerning trees, a warning against working and a petrol station battling its way against the oppressive flooding.

Ah Luxembourg... never a dull moment.

*image "borrowed" from BBC News

Thursday Cheek

2007-01-18T11:13:00.000+01:00

The title of Alfred Mifsud's Friday column on the Indy (Friday Wisdom) always struck me as being a bit on the presumptious side. His age precludes me from labelling him as yet another whippersnapper on the Maltese opinion column scene. Hence Thursday Cheek... the prelude to all that Wisdom on Friday.

Thursdays used to be Lorna days - at least fortnightly. I have a nagging doubt that Lorna's days on the Times are counted and that the editor has found a replacement from the Labour fold: Exit the Dame (stage left), Enter Stormin' Norman, our hero from those halcyon days of Sibtijiet Flimkien...

Yep. Norman has a spanking new fortnightly column entitled "My Agenda" following a suggestion by the Times Editor.

I must admit that I myself was indeed very surprised when the editor emailed me a few weeks ago, inviting me to contribute a fortnightly article. "Since people know you as the presenter of your talk show Bla Agenda," he said, "I think it would be appropriate for yur column to be titled My Agenda".

Lovely. Any doubts that Norman would not be a good enough replacement for the Dame of the Gramatically Incorrect are immediately assuaged by his use of the trademark "I myself" in the second sentence of his debut. Lovely indeed. The headhunting Times editor has definitely hit on another gold vein in the shape of the former Saturday morning TV regular. Bla Agenda will not be the last plug in what will probably be a series of self-congratulating articles by Mr. Hamilton Tours (himself).

We only get enough time to recieve Happy, Peaceful, Healthy and Belated New Year wishes before Hamilton dives into the crunch of what we shall unquestioningly expect to be his style. J'accuse will have much to crunch on for Thursday's to come. Norman will forgive us if we remember him as the Alfred Zammit of the eighties... a man whose eyes could only glitter at the mention of the man at the helm of the Maltese boat. Mintoff has long faded into the past but Norman's love for autocratic leaders has led him to pastures new and we are left in no doubt as to the identity of his newfound replacements.

Pride of place is reserved for Shaikh Mohammeed Rashid Al Maktoum. El Sheikh is the charismatic man of the people (Qawwu Qalbkom). He is a visionary leader who has his own website and even takes into consideration the suggestions of his people. Grrrreat. This royal CEO seems to have struck a nostalgic nerve within Hamilton's emotional makeup and deserved three paragraphs of adulation all of which were prompted by Hamilton's visit to Dubai over the New Year. Good for him.

From Shaikh to Rais. Norman moves on to describe the atrocious hanging of a former leader. Saddam's execution has not gone down well with Norman. Hamilton does not go so far as to criticise the condemnation itself but rather limits his anger to the circumstances of the hanging. One cannot but suspect a hint of regret that the Rais was actually hanged. This has to be coupled with Hamilton's use of "brave and dignified" description of the swinging tyrant. Hamilton's hint at the "several atrocities" committed by Saddam becomes a little afterthought inserted in what would otherwise be a posthumous apology for another potential charismatic leader who knew what was good for the people... Kurds and all!

What can I say? Farewell Lorna. You might still surprise us with an appearance. We had joy, we had fun and we will miss you. Somehow we knew that you double checked every J'Accuse crit whenever your articles appeared... and for that we are grateful. We wish you yourself a great future in the world of Maltese politics and hope to see your columns somewhere else soon. In the meantime we welcome Stormin' Norman with open arms. We look forward to learning about more great charismatic leaders and lovers of the people as well as learning about great travel destinations. Do not take us too seriously... we are after all just a little blog in the great ocean of blogging...

P.S. Why do I never get an email in my inbox from the Times Editor asking me to contribute a fortnightly article? Something like. "Since people have no idea who you are but it seems that you might be a whippersnapping blogger who posts on what is probably the most popular blog in Malta it would be appropriate for your column to be called J'Accuse in the Times. We have also started a libel fund in Saviour Balzan style since it will probably come in handy once you start your contributions!" In case the Editor does read this blog, my inbox may be found at jacques dot zammit at gmail dot com.

Cheers!

* Picture: Dominic Mintoff - A Charismatic Leader of the People

Watch This Space (and that one too)

2007-01-17T11:44:00.000+01:00

The proletariatisation of the media is becoming a hilarious joke. The more I read the more I imagine myself to have gone crazy - a bit like Russel Crowe's character in "A Beautiful Mind" (John Nash). Not that I ever was a nobel prize potential - I don't think they have a category of Popular Blogs and Whippersnapper Rants yet - but the crazy feeling of being submerged by uncategorized information is constantly there.

One minute it is Big Brother who is forming your agenda - what news to read, what channels to watch, what is news, what is hearsay, what is good music, what is bad music, what is real football, what is to be relegated to the obscurity of the unknown mass. The next minute you are being awarded the Time Magazine Personality of the Year for being able to type a few lines of nonsense per day and for hoping to change the world. Because you are the news.

The world's economists have discovered that we have moved beyond neoconsumerism. We are now no longer governed by emotions when we consume. We are robots that are credit card happy. Our debt is huge, long live the debt! The world's tv channels and the film directors now orchestrate exercises in moral education that are either very well hidden in the subteleties (not) of Oprah style talk shows or in the plotlines of teleseries that stink of post-9/11 values.

More and more kids grow up having their ideas of the world honed through two different boxes - the tv and the computer screen. Superman, Batman and Spiderman all had to return in different guises. Religion is no longer what it used to be. Travelling abroad means touching the reality of terrorism and alerts with your own hands and leaving your shoes on the security scan device. The greatest philosopher of the modern age is Homer Simpson and we can now shop from our homes without ever having to meet anyone and engage in useless mall-talk.

There's enough stuff in there to write a novel worthy of Foucault's Pendulum. Or maybe its just a load of gibberish spurting out of the mouth of a XXIst century homo sapiens who might suddenly be exposed to far more information than he could ever handle. Would he swap his place with the feudal peasant working on his lord's demesne for some wicked Baron with the ius primae noctis over his sister? Of course not....

We all would rather be here - threatned by Usama and his followers, frustrated by George and his merry band of losers, governed by ever-more unreasonable politicrats, bled dry to watch our favourite sport, slaves of the credit card chips and travel taxes, still trying to understand what exactly is brewing in this modern day melting pot and still obstinately following the same old football team wherever the conspiracy theorists will condemn it to play.

Thank God for Blogging. Otherwise I know of no other time when I could have said all that and still have the undivided attention of the listener.

"When the Light of the Endless was drawn in the form of a straight line in the Void... it was not drawn and extended immediately downwards, indeed it extended slowly — that is to say, at first the Line of Light began to extend and at the very start of its extension in the secret of the Line it was drawn and shaped into a wheel, perfectly circular all around."

Global Warning

2007-01-16T16:54:00.000+01:00

I am told that "ful" and "qaqocc" are readily available at Maltese greengrocers. That should come as no surprise - you would not expect them to sell beans and artichokes at the bookstore would you? Yeah sure. The only problem is that "ful" and "qaqocc" are normally to be seen around Easter. They are both eagerly awaited products which flourish in the Maltese and Gozitan countryside around April. Only thing is that we are in January. This should be the month of freeze and cold... no?

Apparently Malta has shifted from Autumn to Spring without so much as a Winter Sneeze. The jackets and pullovers will stay put together with the "bocci tal-kamla" awaiting another winter that may never come. The sun is out, the sea is relatively calm and there are no cold cold days of bone rattling humid cold.

Which could be cool. Only there are some other signs that are slightly worrying. I had packed enough to survive an expedition to the North Pole when I left for New York. I had been told that Christmas and New Year in the Big Apple are generally on the freezing and snowy side. My ski tops stayed in the suitcase and I got no chance to show off their skin tight qualities. Naaah. Instead we got the hottest December in New York since 1887. Still not worried? How about the snow and ice that froze wine fields around Los Angeles, California two days ago? Another freak event?

Seriously. I am normally the last one to listen to all the treehuggers warnings about dying wood, expanding holes and the general warming of the planet. I must confess that until this winter my attention span when it came to talking to Gaia's ills was not exactly up to scratch. Somehow it is difficult to listen to a round bespectacled hippy with an eco-sack strapped around his shoulder and the tell tale signs of cannabis consumption. It does not exactly convince me.

But no snow in Luxembourg and summer in December in Malta?

Somehow the phrase "Global Warning" does not seem to be so much of a funny pun anymore.

P.S. Notwithstanding the accompanying image I have NOT yet viewed Gore's documentary. This post was inspired by real, tangible events and not by any green propaganda machine.

iFreezing

2007-01-15T14:21:00.000+01:00

It's officially winter. As it happens it's rather late but we did have a white sheet of ice on the grass at the Parc de Merl this morning. It was also the first time this winter that I had to defrost the windscreen and that the Charlotte Bridge vanished completely under heavy mist. The title is a bit of a cheat though... it's not that cold yet and although the car thermometer did register a minus two this morning we will not be panicking and switching to any unused snowproof clothing as yet. Whatsmore the weather promises to be more clement towards the end of the week...

Still no interesting blogging inspirations from the news or from the world of the world wide weirdness... so I'll get back to work for now.

Laters.

Hebdo My Dear

2007-01-12T15:55:00.000+01:00

This week ticked by slowly in the hazed stupor that generally accompanies the recovery from any major holidaying. Work productivity was at a record low - so much that I would sack myself if I could. No worries on that front since Monday will bring back a new will to live and produce. This blog was among the victims of the general faineantisme that affected my esprit and drained me of all élan. We did of course enjoy the saga of the weird names. I will surely blog again about this phenomenon - especially since I own this book that deals with the very subject of weird names in France (Laissez Parler Les Noms! J.L. Beaucarnot, Editions Lattès 2004). I forgot to mention two of the crankiest names I heard some time ago - both are real and exist in Malta...

Pride of place goes to family Pace who, in a collective bout of psychedelic infusing opted to name their offspring "Jurassic". Master Jurassic Pace will definitely qualify for the annals of history. A close second goes to family Haber who, with a demonic inspiration and a bit of lingustic stretching Mrs Bucket style baptised their little daughter "Pearl". Undoubtedly the christening of the young Pearl Haber must have come as an explosive surprise to all and sundry.

I will try to keep away from onomastic musings for a while now. There were some things that were slipped into this weeks news that would have merited a J'accuse post other days when blogging was quicker and the mind more willing. I liked most of all the news that said that PM Gonzi would be meeting Virgin CEO in the UK to discuss ideas about a train system. Gybexi's dream might be a closer reality. Why such talks always end up speaking of a Sliema - Valletta link is beyond me... what is wrong a backbone link between Cirkewwa and the Airport via Rabat, Birkirkara etc? Why does environment friendly travel start and stop with Ferries, Trains, Monorails (insert other transport of choice) between Valletta and Sliema?

Always on the transport issues it is nice to note that those nice guys at Airmalta are opposing Ryanair flights to and from Bremen because it is too close to their Hamburg destination. Great.

That's all for now. I'm off to France for the start of the weekend so blogging might be slowish though not completely absent. Look out for an I.M. Jack edition some time on Sunday.

The Whippersnapping Pundit has left the building....

What's in a name? (II)

2007-01-11T17:52:00.000+01:00

I could not resist getting the card from our cabinet and putting down the full list of names. It's long but worth typing in full. Enjoy:

ANTHEA BRADON CHARLENE CLINT DEYAN DIANA GILDAVE JAKE JANA KEVIN KURT LEON MARCOS MAXLENE NICO NIRVANA REDEEMER XENIA LEE YANKA ANTOINE BETHANY DAMIEN DEBORAH 'FRANCIELLE JANE' GIANLUCA GILDAVE JESLYN JOSLAN JUSTIN LORIANA LUKE NICHOLAS NIRVANA RAIZA TRAJEANELLE VALERIE CELINE CELINE CHASMAINE DAREN DONELL EFTON EMAN 'JEAN ALESI' 'JEAN CLAUDE' JEROME KIRSTEN MARIA MICHELLE NIRVANA OMAR PRISCILLA SHELLY TRISTAN ALDO ANDREA ANDY ANTOINE BRANDON BRANDON BRANDON DARREL GEORGETTE JESSICA KEVLIN KYLIE NICO SHERISEANNE SIMON CHARMAINE CHRISTINE CLAYTON CLAYTON GORDON KAYLEIGH KIERAN KURT LARSON LOREXLEEN TIZIANA NADESH NADESCH NAOMI RYAN SHELLEY TASHA WENDY ADRIAN CHANEL DYLAN MANDY 'JEAN PAUL' JESSICA KAYLIE MARSIO PAUL RYAN SINDEL

The list has been double checked and there are no typos. Marsio is not a typo of Mario. Bradon is not Brandon without an N. There IS a nuance between Nadesh and Nadesch. And yes... there is a boy out there called Jean Alesi.

What can I say. You guys seem to have got carried away with the suggestions. But could your imagination really have stretched as far as Gildave (X2) or Lorexleen?

God Bless Us All.

What's in a name?

2007-01-10T14:12:00.000+01:00

Today I chanced upon a Christmas card sent by some government ministry. The pictures on the card were drawn by some kids from a Bormla primary. The interesting part of the story was the list of all the names of the kids at the primary on the back of the card. It reads like a mixture of medicinal products, science fiction characters and creative inanity. From Rexilene to Franciljane to Xenia as well as Dyson and Edelson. The fact that one boy was called Redeemer did nothing to redeem this list from its craziness. What's getting into people's heads these days? I counted at least four Nirvanas in a list that was filled with the odd and the insane. Why? Can people really hate their kids so much?

I got this twisted idea while reading the list. Soon there will be no holds barred and the search for the unusual name will spill into naming kids after objects. How soon before we have boys named Asbestos, Proton, Diode, Xenon or Magnet? What will stop these crazy parents from calling their daughters Adenosine, Acitelene or Rexine? Will the fad move onto household items? I mean if we have a Dyson why not a Rowenta, a Prestige or a Zoppas? And once the Apple craze of naming all things cool beginning with the i-prefix really clicks with "the common people" how long before school registers have an iSon or an iDaughter on their list?

My biggest worry is about how this will affect my Scrabble scores. The day someone challenges my use of "asbestos" because it is a proper noun things will really have gone to the dogs.

Quixotic

2007-01-09T11:09:00.000+01:00

Cervantes' Don Quixote is often used as a metaphor of the idealistic campaigner on a quest against the impossible. Quixotic is defined as being romantic, visionary and impractical all in one go. Individual quests against whatever is taken to be as the ordinary, accepted norm could also be described as quixotic. Take the idea in some Maltese minds that the country cannot go on relying on a two party system. Take the attempts at breaking out of the MLPN mould. Quixotic. Quixotism can be taken to extremes and certan aims can be seen as being more impractical than others - take Harry's five seats in Parliament for example. Sure, the romance, the vision is admirable and probably shared by many. The difficulty of the task he hopes to accomplish might be the very thing that stops people from putting themselves four-square behind him.

Les Enfants de Don Quichotte is an organisation that is in the news in France at the moment. They have taken up the cause of the so-called SDF (Sans Domicile Fixe) - the homeless. What this quixotic band has done is install tents in major cities in France. The aim was one tent for every sans-abri and they intended to leave them there in the open until lodgement was found for each SDF. The sight of rows upon rows of tents along the Seine in Paris and in major squares in France served as an eye-opener to the people and the government. The public had been invited to spend at least one night out in a tent and get an idea of what it is like to sleep out in the cold.

On the 8th January, the French government announced new measures concerning the SDF. This Plan of Action includes the commitment that "any person currently received in an Emergency Hosting Centre will be offered (in accordance to his means) a permanent solution, in a public social zone, in a private conventional park, in a Centre for Hosting and Social Reinsertion, in a Centre for Request for Asylum, in a house of retreat or in a Hosting Centre for Stabilisation." These measures were the first concrete steps taken by the government as a direct consequence of the concrete action of the Enfants de Don Quichotte.

Private action in order to get the authorities moving will always be seen in some quarters as Quixotic. They will always find others who dismiss their actions as "idealistic", "romantic" or otherwise. Some would say that it takes courage to take on the status quo. I tend to disagree. Once you have the ideal and the will to achieve the rest will follow. It's not just about blogging. It's about carving back a place for the person in a society that has left too much in the hands of a political elite that seems to have lost itself somewhere along the way.

* This post may also be read at www.espresso.com.mt

Tanto Pe' Canta'

2007-01-08T21:53:00.000+01:00

Perche' delle volte basta la musica...

Tanto pe' canta'
(N. Manfredi)

E' una canzona senza titolo
tanto per canta' per fa' qualche cosa.
Nun e' niente de straordinario
e' roba der paese nostro
che se po' canta' pure senza voce.
Basta 'a salute
quanno c'e' 'a salute c'e' tutto.
Bast''a salute e un par de scarpe nove
poi gira' tutto er monno
e m''a accompagno da me...
pe' fa' la vita meno amara
me so' comprato 'sta chitara
e quanno er sole scenne e more
me sento un core cantatore
la voce e' poca ma intonata
nun serve a fa' na serenata
ma solamente a fa' 'n maniera
de famme un sogno a prima sera
uh, uh, uh, uh...
tanto pe' canta'
perche' me sento un friccico ner core
tanto pe' sogna'
perche' ner petto me ce naschi un fiore
fiore de lilla'
che ma riporti verso er primo amore
che sospirava a le canzone mie
e me rintontoniva de bucie
canzone belle e appassionate
che roma mia m'ha ricordate
cantate solo pe' dispetto
ma co' na smania drento ar petto
io non ve canto a voce piena
ma tutta l'anima e' serena
e quanno er cielo se scolora
de me nessuna s' ennamora...
tanto pe' canta'
perche' me sento un friccico ner core
tanto pe' sogna'
perche' ner petto me ce naschi un fiore
fiore de lilla'
che ma riporti verso er primo amore
che sospirava a le canzone mie
e me rintontoniva de bucie!
tanto pe' canta'
perche' me sento un friccico ner core
tanto pe' sogna'
perche' ner petto me ce naschi un fiore
fiore de lilla'
che ma riporti verso er primo amore
che sospirava a le canzone mie
e me rintontoniva de bucie!

The Whippersnapper's Prediction

2007-01-07T21:39:00.000+01:00

Some bloggers might revel in the idea of predicting what's coming up in the year 2007. I wonder if Sant has used that one yet... prediction I mean. Being of the whippersnapping kind we prefer to snap the whip as the news comes out. We do not find nostradamusian guesswork amusing, however as a nod to this pastime for the unpretentious and those lacking the necessary confidence to qualify for whippersnapper statuse we will make one prediction.

We predict that J'Accuse will once again be the blog with most posts in a year come the end 2007, each post will be full of the kind of stuff that readers are used to expect from what is Probably the Most Popular Maltese Blog.

J'Accuse... punditry made simple (and tongue in cheek too)

Whippersnapper

2007-01-06T19:40:00.000+01:00

For the record. This "young whippersnapper from Luxembourg" still thinks that if a question is worded in a vague manner and thus has a multiple possible good answers then it is the question poser who is wrong.

Hence it is not just Uriah Heep but also Frank Sinatra who sings Sweet Lorraine.

There.

***

Back in Lux. What do you do after an extended shopping holiday? Well the answer is obvious. The sales have begun in Lux so Mel and I shopped all day. Still not back to "pundit" mood. But I did think up a slogan using the award so gracefully granted to this blog....

See you soon.

Over

2007-01-05T17:42:00.000+01:00

The holidays in New York. They're over. Luggage was over-weight. Travel was over-long. Border bureaucracy was over the top. I am over my mean or average weight. I cannot get over the jet lag. Over there you wake up to shop. Over here you wake up to work. Over there you had a myriad restaurants waiting to be explored. Over here it is travel plans all over again. Over here...

anyway... over here we will have time to begin again. Right now all I need is a coffee... a good european coffee without all the fake razmatazz (and don't anyone mention a latte)

TLGRM

2007-01-03T15:41:00.000+01:00

HPPY NY 2 Y'LL.
HVN GR8 TM 'N NYC.
LST MNT SHPPNG TDY. RTHR HCTC.
S HCTC THT DNT HV TM 2 TYP VWLS.
MST B D FX F D STTS.
C U SN.
J.

New York, New York

2006-12-26T01:11:00.000+01:00

The time has come to leave. And such. As Lorna would say. In 4 hours time the taxi to Lux airport will be the first step in my first adventure to the States. Unlike De Tocqueville I will not be on a democratic study trip. Instead I shall be devoting most of my time to epicurean pleasures... and who knows... maybe my attitude to all things American may take a positive turn.

Blogging will be down till around 5th January - barring any quick blogscapades when in the Big Apple. Allow me to wish all you readers a Happy New Year as from now. Looking forward to entertaining you in the forthcoming year.

A little note of thanks also goes to that entrepreneurial bunch who came up with a jolly set of Blog Awards and chose to 'shower' J'Accuse with the Pundit of the Year award. Thank you. It is appreciated, seriously, though we still doubt whether our blogosphere is large enough to be able to have so many varied awards that can smack a bit of "a little award for me, a little award for you" etc etc. Criticism always comes from this end of the blogosphere and I am glad to have been awarded something so that this does not sound like sour grapes. It's a beginning... and I hope we will be able to look back at the time when the Malta Blog Awards were in their youth and functioned as an encouraging pat on the back practically to all those people who were out there.

Thanks also go out to my friend Fausto (and fellow pundit indeed) for the nomination. A little slap on the hand to the award creators for not having thought of any award for that sarcastic genius Ajjut! Sharon better start blogging regularly to live up to her name for the Blogorrhea award.

There. Couldn't choose a worse way to end the year... criticising fellow bloggers. So I better end on a happy note....

... keep blogging.

That should do.

All the best and see you in 2007.

Just Practising

2006-12-23T17:53:00.000+01:00

Hmm let me see...

A Merry Christmas and a Jolly New Year to All You Out there...
(naah... too common)

Festive and Season's Greetings to all readers
(jeez how layman)

All the Best to the Wonderful J'Accusers out there
(patronising... not the stuff that the most popular blog in Malta (probably) would be made of)

Wishing You All the Greatest of Things for the Coming Holidays
(aren't we all a happy bunch)

Thinking of Y'All this Christmas
(right)

May God Bless You All
Jacques-zinger

Ok. I'm really not good at this. And I really, really, really need to get hold of Melanie to wrap all the pressies.

Cheerio lads... as you can see blogging does not come easy over the Christmas rush...

so long... and thanks for all the fish.

This is not a post

2006-12-22T22:40:00.000+01:00

... and yet we could not let a day pass by without writing something in J'accuse.

P.S. Pre-Christmas is hectic isn't it?

One Small Step for MLPN....

2006-12-21T14:49:00.000+01:00

From Maltastar:

The basis of agreement between the Labour party and the Nationalist party is a step forward for democracy in Malta. This was stated by Labour’s deputy leader for party affairs, Dr Michael Falzon.

Dr Falzon told One News’ Matthew Carbone, that the discussions were held between him and Joe Saliba for the PN. The Labour deputy leader said that these discussions led to the two sides agreeing to three basic principles, namely that the votes which count for determining the outcome of the general elections would be the first count votes, secondly that there would be strict proportionality between the number of votes a party gets and the seats it is allocated in parliament and finally, that Gozo would remain one district but that this would not lead to the Malta electoral districts being changed for the next general election.

Thank you very much say all of us. What exactly does the strict proportionality principle entail? Does it in any way mean that if a party gets a number of votes across all districts that is above an MP threshold then it will also have a right to be represented in parliament? Does it Mr Falzon, does it?

Thank you very much messirs. You make us all proud.

Show Me the Money

2006-12-20T10:23:00.000+01:00

J'Accuse... party funding.

Here at J'accuse we have constantly commented on the fishiness of the party fund-raising affairs. Unfortunately our laziness in maths never led us to make the calculations that Hogan made last Sunday. And well done Hogan we say. Here is his reasoning regarding the PN's Lm300,000+ fund raiser on Republic Day:

Indeed, I hope no one for a minute is gullible enough to believe that the amount that was declared had been collected from Joe Citizen by the two political parties on the 13 December is a reflection of the truth. Take for example the collection at the PN premises, and for a wee second please turn to your calculator. At the Stamperija as we always used to call it, I noted eight phones. With eight phones and an average 15 phone calls an hour over a 12-hour period and pledges of Lm10 a call, the maximum amount one would collect works out to be Lm14,400. The PN insists it collected over Lm300,000. If that is the case, then only a miniscule amount originated from the general public by way of pledges on the phone. If the PN wanted to collect Lm100,000 alone from phone pledges in 12 hours it would have to have at least two phone calls a minute on every phone for 12 hours with pledges of Lm10 every time.

Now imagine we owned a company involved in dark deals - let us say we owned a chain of men who manage a string of women who solicit business on the trottoirs of Gzira. Let us also say that there is a company behind this chain of men who run this string of women (highly improbable but let us assume). Let us say that this company also prints a newspaper, has a travel agency and owns a TV (again not very probable). Let us say that this company obviously (and hypothetically) makes more dosh pimping than it does printing. So suddenly one day the CEO of Pimpin' Enterprises hits on a brainwave. A one-day telethon on 15th August - to fund raise for the general benefit of the Pimpin' Enterprises. And hey presto! Suddenly the ins section of the balance sheet perfectly balances the out.

In some countries this could be called a sad form of money laundering - a mechanism to bring illegally obtained funds into the market. In some countries the tax inspector would become ultra suspicious. You know... when you earn money... you pay tax on income or if you are a company some kind of company tax etc etc. If you do a telethon you just see the money roll in. No?

See where I am getting at? Not only do we not regulate party funding in Malta. We also do not ask where the money is coming from - whether the parties are busy soliciting for rich customers in exchange for services rendered (or promised). We do not question the obvious scams that are perpetuated every time Wenz and Fred need money. We do not even ask whether these parties pay tax like we do. No we take all this and more for granted.

So the parties get to swim in Dosh like they've won the lottery at least once a year. And how much dosh they have we will never know... "Dosh kemm ghandhom?"

And as in the case of electoral boundaries, the same parties who play the dirty game also get to write the rules. Which puts us in the position of the biggest fools in history - witnessing the scam, participating in it year after year (for those eedjits who still send in money)... and the worst bit... actually voting the pimps back to parliament on the first chance we get.

J'accuse will be organising Malta's First Internet-thon sometime in the new year. All donations will go to a good cause that improves the general well-being of an upright citizen like myself.

Missing Stats

2006-12-19T11:28:00.000+01:00

While Time magazine announces that Internet users - bloggers, podcasters et al - have been voted Time Person of the Year, Malta's figures on Internet Access are conspicuous in their absence from the EUROSTAT charts. Malta has not submitted its statistics on access per 100 households in the years 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005 and 2006 inclusive. Why?

See here.

Life is Football

2006-12-18T10:45:00.000+01:00

A little pause does no harm. Friday night's news came as a shock to all Juve fans (and non). Two young men ready to leap into the crazy world of professional football had their lives prematurely cut short. The senslessness of their cold deaths only adds to the mourning and sadness that surrounds the event. One does not blame their parents for asking questions and trying to find someone to blame. The editor of La Gazzetta rightly pointed out that this tragedy is closer to that of the boys playing football in the street, risking their limbs recovering stray balls from the traffic than to the world of money, shams and fixed matches. Too true.

I remember playing football with the bullies and arabs of Paceville in the patch of cement opposite Wembley's. In my time there was no two metre high fence and whenever the ball went into the busy St. George's road we would sprint after it nonchalantly zig zagging among moving cars driven by furious drivers. In Pembroke the odd piece of rust on the floor carried the additional risk of tetanus (hence the sprint to the clinic on a Sunday for the obligatory injection). I can name hundreds of other places that each carried the risk of their own.

We learnt to avoid these risks. We learnt to take preventive action. But nothing could overcome our passion for the game. Like life, football carries many risks... some of these are not immediately obvious to the onlooker... deaths on and off the pitch are not rare but it is important for the game to go on. Never shall we forget though. Alessio and Riccardo will be added to the hundreds of other names who died while playing or enjoying the game...

****
And it's soon Christmas. Which means errands galore. Which means that I am on holiday from today. Bills to be paid, goods and gifts to be bought and final farewells to be made to most of the Maltese community going back home. I am staying here... Christmas this year will be spent in Metz... then it's off to the Big Apple for a New Year in the New City.

More to come...

Lutto

2006-12-16T14:08:00.000+01:00

No posts will be posted on J'accuse today as a sign of respect towards the two young footballers who died tragically at the Juventus training grounds of Vinovo yesterday.

In Memory of:
Alessio Ferramosca
Lorenzo Frison
1989 - 2006

Suspenders

2006-12-15T10:07:00.000+01:00

From the Times:

The Nationalist Party said it will be suspending all political activities between Monday and January 7. It is the second year that the PN is doing so during the festive season. The party said it is also refraining from issuing political statements and from airing or printing political articles or programmes on its media.

Thanksgod as Rita Law would say. Labour supporters will be asking themselves whether the Times will be limited to Lorna's exploits and whether Bocca's weekly rants count as political articles. Nationalist supporters will not be missing much. The others will be wondering whether the PN ever had any political activities in the true sense of the word. But then one can understand... a party that is busy collecting half a million liri from its voters (does anyone monitor this process? does Mr X the millionaire split some money between some of his followers who phone in to "donate" in their own name and thus avoid any scandals of party-funding by interest groups? do the party accolytes care how that money is spent?) can scarcely have time for politics.

In my time at SDM I had started issuing a journal called Politics Now! I remember that we had tried contacting various members of the PN intelligentia (among other people) to contribute with articles debating christian-democrat values. I also remember the scarcity of replies. As far as I know the PN does not need a moratorium on political articles... they have been absent for quite some time now.

A moratorium on useless propaganda that goes nowhere, a moratorium on mud slinging and name calling, a moratorium on mentioning Labour's dark ages... now that would be something. Until then we are all left in suspense....

M O N E S T E R O L O

2006-12-14T01:30:00.000+01:00

M O N E S T E R O L O
M O N E S T E R O L O

Ta' Qali Stadium
Premier League
Wednesday 13th December (anniversary of the Centenary Cup Final)
Valletta 2 - Floriana 1
Scorers: Sebastian Monesterolo (2), Adrian Mifsud (1)

Sena, wara sena...

And now the News

2006-12-13T11:54:00.000+01:00

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS REFERENCES TO IMMORAL AND INDECENT ACTS IN PUBLIC. SENSITIVE VIEWERS SHOULD NOT READ BEYOND POINT 4.

1. Commission Raps On
The European Commission is not satisfied with the answer given to it by the Maltese government regarding the departure tax. The Commission deems the existence of such a tax discriminatory. This led the Commission to send a letter of formal warning which is essentially a request by the Commission to a government to give reasons why a law or administrative action taken by that government should not be seen as infringing Community law. The government's reply to such letter was not satisfactory(I assume that the govt showed that it had reduced the tax) and this has led to the second step of procedure: the reasoned opinion. In a reasoned opinion the Commission formulates its case against the government - pointing out what it deems to be the areas of infringement and requesting the government to take action in order to rectify the situation (one can assume from the Commission's arguments that the Commission would request either that the tax is removed or that local travel is taxed equally). The government now has two months to rectify the situation and reply to the reasoned opinion. Failure to do so will imply an action in the European Court of Justice for failure to implement community law.

2. And on
It's not just air travel that's in trouble. The Commission does not find the situation regarding the Gozo Channel monopoly very amusing. Even this procedure is at the stage of reasoned opinion. Looks like a lot of work could be coming up at the Court come next season.

3. A Good Nationalist Article
Since someone seems to think that we only see bad things come out of the PN media columns allow me to say that Malcolm Mifsud's article on today's Indy seems to be a well-argued reposte to an interview by Michael Cohen. Well-argued, well-said and to top it all up not one word about Mintoff and the dark ages.

4. Republic
Speaking of which... happy Republic Day to all you enjoying a second public holiday in a week. Aren't we a spoilt nation?

5. What's Wrong with the Thong?
Reports from the Maltese courts regarding the Lap Dancer's Case read like a Carry On script. Carry On Blushing would be a good title... for the police force in this case. It would seem that the accusation is now down from prostitution to "performing immoral acts in public". The proof? Tight shorts (tighter than those of a gymnast), scanty dressing and dancing while scantily dressed. From the witness stand: "The fact that they were dancing means that were participating in immoral acts because of the way they were dressed." Tali-who? Or this one... "Our orders were to arrest anyone wearing a thong because that is immoral." have to remind Melanie about this one... next time we are in Malta I must go to the monti for those pancieri... I have no time for this tomfoolery. Ajjut! will surely be onto this one. As will Daphne... and of course I cannot wait for Lorna's take on the matter.

For all you song lovers out there... Sisqo's Thong Song followed by Jimmy Fallon's Spoof (please don't work that Thong!):

Sisqo Thong Song
This thing right here
Is lettin all the ladies know
What guys talk about
You know
The finer things in life
Hahaha
Check it out
Ooh dat dress so scandalous
And ya know another nigga couldn't handle it
See ya shakin that thang like who's da ish
With a look in ya eye so devilish
Uh
Ya like to dance at all the hip hop spots
And ya cruise to the crews like connect da dots
Not just urban she likes the pop
Cuz she was livin la vida loca
BRIDGE
She had dumps like a truck truck truck
Thighs like what what what
Baby move your butt butt butt
Uh
I think to sing it again
She had dumps like a truck truck truck
Thighs like what what what
All night long
Let me see that thong
CHORUS
I like it when the beat goes da na da na
Baby make your booty go da na da na
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na
That thong th thong thong thong
I like it when the beat goes da na da na
Baby make your booty go da na da na
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na
That thong th thong thong thong
That girl so scandalous
And I know another nigga couldn't handle it
And she shakin that thang like who's da ish
With a look in her eye so devilish
Uh
She like to dance at all the hip hop spots
And she cruise to the crews like connect da dots
Not just urban she likes the pop
Cuz she was livin la vida loca
BRIDGE
CHORUS (2x)
Whoaaa

Please don't Wear that Thong (Jimmy Fallon)
Ooh! That dress too small on you.
Looks like you put on another pound or two.
So you're shakin' that thing like you're all that
Take a look at yourself cuz' you're all fat
Uh.You like to eat at the ice cream shops
And you cruise to the mall for some dippin' dots
Not too much food cuz' your cheeks will pop
I really hate it when you bend over

Chorus:
She had a big ol' butt, butt, butt
Thighs like a truck, truck, truck
baby hide your gut, gut, gut,
I think I see her again
She had a big ol' butt, butt, butt
Thighs like a truck, truck, truck
like king kong
Please don't wear your thong,

and listen when i say so,
been watchin that booty grow.
show us some self control,
dont wear that thong thong thong.
sorry but i told you so,
been watchin that booty grow,
it showsoff ur belly rolls,
dont wear that thong thong thong

Ooh! Your butt's girgantuine
And u know another brotha' would stand for it
It's like a wreckin' ball
So big and round
If I get too close it might knock me down

Uh
It's hard to find a vacation spot
with a cruise you could lose cuz
the girl ain't hot
She' on the beach
And she should be stopped
Cuz' she was tryin' to tan all over

She had a big ol' butt, butt, butt
Thighs like a truck, truck, truck
baby hide your gut, gut, gut,
I think I see her again
She had a big ol' butt, butt, butt
Thighs like a truck, truck, truck
like king kong

Please don't wear your thong,
and listen when i say so,
been watchin that booty grow.
show us some self control,
dont wear that thong thong thong.

sorry but i told you so,
been watchin that booty grow,
it showsoff ur belly rolls,
dont wear that thong thong thong

The Other Bloggers

2006-12-13T10:17:00.000+01:00

The self-centred presumptiousness of us bloggers often leads us to announce the (relative) death of the blogosphere whenever a dearth of posts afflicts the blogroll on our newsreader. J'accuse is (probably first) among these culprits of navel-gazing assessments and has often neglected the wider picture. A little stroll from blogroll to blogroll has revealed what should have been evident ages ago - while it is true that some blogs in our corner of the blogosphere do go through a moratorial period or a desolatory slump, there are others out there who go on blogging from day to day. It is impossible to list them all... human limits allows us only to update a blogroll from time to time.

The J'accuse list of clicks has long abandoned the encyclopaedic style of listing and the policy has recently switched to including those blogs that are regularly updated or perused. Still, I am sure that not many care about being included in this premium spot of blog space - the J'accuse blogroll - since, by Technorati standards J'accuse floats desultorily in the 200,000th rankings - a statistic that plants our conflated expectations back firmly to the ground.

So. Back to the new or the newly found. After a trawl of a few blogs I decided to point out six blogs that caught my eye. Two have been known to me before and had sadly slipped out of my sight only to bounce back gracefully. The list is of course subjective but still (for my tastes) enjoyable.

Trashcan
http://treshcan.blogspot.com - supersexy (her words, but the photo seems to confirm) XTINE is a reader of Holt and Eco. A personal kind of blog but I did find the language interesting enough to keep me reading.

intellectual debris
http://intellectualdebris.blogspot.com - interesting rantings of Zurrieqi Dejvid. Just got into Uni - once again I like his style and the humour... potentially worth tracking.

hsejjes innocenti
http://nadyahansen.blogspot.com - Yeah I know. We knew of this one before. Love the revamped look (how long has it been since I last visited?). Cool blog from a cool veteran... but please more info in the profile!

zetetiq
http://zetetiq.blogspot.com - Another "oldie" refound. Eclectically interesting - read anything from Spinoza, God, Condoms and conversations with people knocking on her door. I loved her TGIL style analysis of a KSU mailshot to students (Nov 22).

maltamalta
http://maltamalta.blog.com - If you want to know what kept me reading this blog just read his latest post called Supermarket. This is a blog by a peruvian living in Malta. Kinnie & Twistess but in reverse. I also found his perspective on Malta much more interesting than the usual paternalising stereotypical summaries we get of Calypso, holes in streets and all that. Thumbs up for Peru!

songs of innocence & experience
http://allaboutg.blogspot.com - She's in Frankfurt right now. I must admit that this kind of Blog name normally puts me off. The content - a very personal diary - is also not my favourite. Without wanting to sound negative I think I would want to add G back onto my list simply for her perseverance on the blogosphere. I am sure that there are many others who can compensate for the lack of appreciation that people like myself seem to have for this kind of blog. Way to go G!

malta9thermidor
http://malta9thermidor.blogspot.com - Ok. I'm kidding. How can you not have good old Fausto on your blogroll? I've just been told off by Majjistral because apparently I have not criticised Harry half as many times as he has criticised Tonio. tut tut. Frankl(in)y I do not see the point.

There. This was my little round of newly discovered and rediscovered blogs (with a bit of Majjistral thrown in for spice) . There is no doubt that the assessment is only my own from my own navel's point of view. Up to you to decide if it's worth it!

The Blogging Other

2006-12-12T16:48:00.000+01:00

While the average number of daily visitors to J'Accuse is repristinated to around 200 (after the lull caused by the long absence), the other blogs still totter along with their average of 30 or so. So be it. I just thought that you might like to know what is going on elsewhere on my part of the blogosphere. Consider it a little advertorial for the less followed, but by no means less dear, of the set:

***

Kinnie & Twistees
The project is still moving on at full blast and has by now garnered a list of quiet admirers who prefer to comment on personal email rather than use the comment section. The original idea remains the contrast between life abroad and in Malta. I am still toying with a resurrection of the Sibtijiet Flimkien series that had already appeared in J'accuse. The standard postings commenting on life abroad and reminscing about Maltese parallels are regularly punctuated with installments from miniseries. First and foremost is the Folklor Urban ghas-Seklu 21 - a creative project that has no particular direction but is slowly taking shape. Join Momu on his adventures in the Maltese reality. A new series has been started today. Short translations from the Adventures of Nasr Eddin Hodja - a character from muslim tales... should be good fun.

A few links:

Folklor Urban ghas-Seklu XXI
I. Karawett

II. Kafé

Interludju

III. Kuluri

Stejjer ta' Nasr Eddin
I. L-Ghonja u l-Foqra

***
Il Bollettino della Sgi*a
Gakbu writes in to tell me that the dearth of stories over the last few months was mainly a metaphysical pause for reflection and recollection. In truth the main reason is that Bollettino fell far down on the last of Blogging and writing priorities ... much to the chagrin of some faithful readers. Some recent entires like L-Idjota and S.I.B point to a stuttering revival. Gakbu confirms that the Bollettino will try to maintain at least a once monthly appearance. Patience.

DDG:
Mhusc ghasc niecsa minn taghna l-chitba
Tahsbu li hi spariscsciet
Inchella dlonc tincabdu fil-gidba
U hemm tinfneu b'haphna inchuiet

***
Espresso.com.mt
Of course, Espresso is not a blog. It is an online paper. A J'accuse column appears weekly on the paper (Tuesdays) though this should not stop you from checking out the articles that are added daily to the budding e-paper.

***
Postform
Patrick (aka Pecklectrick - never got this right) constantly complains that the Lamppost campaign died out. Fausto makes a meal out of the fact that Postform fizzled out. The first lost its momentum with the relative calm coming from the forces that inspired its conception (Imperium et al). The second is unfortunately true. Postform the blog did not reach a steady level of contributions. We will have to archive it for now although we will not shun any possibility of a revival.

***
The Laughing Fit
This still remains the hobby away from the hobby. Every now and then I receive that attachment or read that story that is so funny to be shared. Rather than spam it around I just post it on the blog dedicated to humour. It's free, it takes up no space... so no harm done!

***

That's all folks... and yes... should you have any feedback regarding format, content or development of the blogs in question do not hesitate to drop me a line on jacques dot zammit at gmail dot com.

Mumble Mumble Mintoff Mumble

2006-12-11T14:35:00.000+01:00

Sometimes I wonder whether it is just my very personal fixation. Am I the only one to be bothered by the numerous PN contributions to the press reminding us of Mintoff, the MLP and the halcyon Macina days? Am I the only one to be particularly miffed at this paternalistic attititude by the people who should be more preoccupied by the problem of today's governance? The Americans have a new term: "bandwidth". Not the usual bandwidth we are used to. It is being applied to government and administration - to question whether an administration has suffient "bandwidth" to deal with the issues before it.

Whenever I see articles like Victor Scerri's in yesterday's Times I really begin to wonder. Incidentally VS is President of the PN clan - and he is basically writing to tell us why we should vote Gonzi and not Freddie. Here are some juicy, appetizing snippets of what has become run-of-the mill issue from the PN trash machine....

***
The 'perverse' election result of 25 years ago.
[Or why I am pervertedly fixated with the past and still cannot think up something new 25 years later - incidentally why is perverse in quotes?]

It is often said that history, being written by the victors, is a highly subjective recording of events as seen through the eyes of the writers. Being a Victor myself [But please note that the history has constantly been written and re-written and re-reminded by the losing side in this case - which is why we need the Victor pun] , I have taken it upon myself [ two myselfs - one sentence - god, lornism is contagious] to record what I remember from the days, when as a 16-year-old student, the political developments were unfolding which grasped my full attention [The lessons I was missing which let slip my shaky grammar] and sucked me into the world of politics [sucked?] , convincing me of the adage that for evil to triumph, all that is needed is for good men to do nothing. [Or for fixated men to write like this]

(...)

The election result of 1981 was the fruit of ten years of rule [He does not stop referring to a government elected democratically for ten years between 1971 to 1981 as some Junta that had taken the reigns of power from Borg Olivier with the use of guns] that should have been the bottom of the barrel, as far as democratic practices are concerned, but we were in for a nasty surprise. The five years and five months that followed dragged up the worst that any undemocratic regime could offer [Now. I might agree that 1981 to 1987 were not the brightest years in our history... in fact forget Might , I DO agree... but between that and "the worst any undemocratic regime could offer"... lie a couple of Kims, Saddam Husseins, Robert Mugabes and Augusto Pinochets to name a few] . This dark period of Maltese history, during which I progressed from the age of 16 to 21 [progressed from 16 to 21?] , saw people arrested for broadcasting, protesting against water cuts and for owning a cordless phone that allowed one to make a conversation from the sitting room instead of the kitchen! This was then considered to be a subversive tool to bring down governments. [I like this one. Had forgotten the good old "The Manic Dictator has no right to steal my Cordless" fundamental right].

(...)

The change did come, when on May 9, 1987, the election swept the Labour Party out of power, and the forward-looking [the irony of it all] Nationalist Party in. Twenty-five years later [He means 19], we have an infrastructure to be proud of, a vibrant and growing economy and we are proud members of the European Union. One final comment. One might ask what is the relevance of those days now? [No. We have actually given up asking Victor].The relevance lies in condemning those corrupt practices and the style, or lack of it, of government of the time [And who doesn't? And what happens when we do? Do we win a set of back issues of "In-Taghna"?.] We would do well to keep these facts firmly in mind, lest we ever forget which party is trying to win power again. [Lest we forget? Hmm. I know which party is trying to win power again. Actually, I can name two off the cuff... and yours is one of them!]

***

On a more serious notes. Before any Nationalist lackey decides that I am in any way supportive of the negative, dark, Darth Vader side of the Mintoffian era, particularly between 1981 and 1987... let me say that I am not. I too was active in the early days of the Nationalist revival. I too was an MZPN member - sitting on the same National Executive as our friend Vitor here. The difference between myself and Victor, David and other like minded churners of the Nationalist trash-spin is that I have moved on... and still expect the best for my country.

There is no denying, from my comfortably objective non-voter (!!!) point of view that Alfred Sant's incongruous band of spinners is no good alternative for the nation (quote this one too Aaron). People like myself look for vision when deciding who to vote for. I can see none in either of the MLPN. I am not sure I see a strong, concrete one in AD yet either. If I had the right to vote I would vote AD as a message for change.

There are many ways ofdoing so. There is the half-hearted way (for the ones who keep the party flag stashed in the drawer) : you can choose one of the unelectable dorks who the parties decide to pressure into running for election as your first choice (and thus giving your coveted number one to the party) and then give your number two to an AD guy. If there are sufficient dorks to split this kind of vote and sufficient AD number twos you will have an AD MP before you can say "alfossa".

For the more courageous among you, nothing beats the good old number one for AD. In any case Victor... my point is that we have had it up till here hearing about the heroics involved in watching people get arrested. We would like to know what you have done to continue the dream we shared in 1992. The dream of a better Malta. Of Solidarity always and everywhere. Of the Change that Continues.

Why don't you start by explaining why your government has done nothing to change the anomaly that disqualifies hundreds of people in Brussels and Luxembourg from voting come next election? Then maybe you can start lecturing me and others about undemocratic regimes.

Ta ta!

Grazie Lazio!

2006-12-10T23:09:00.000+01:00

We may not be in Serie A... but there are still ways to get extreme delight out of a match. Ledesma, Oddo, Mutarelli... sounded like music to my ears as I logged on to check the results of the two Sunday Derbies. The London one turned out to be a drab affair... but the Lazio debacle... ah...

Lille was great. Much to report about - and will do so as soon as I get some deserved rest from the holiday.

Incidentally. If you really do not know what happened in Lazio... then you should be informed that the wunder Rigetta lost by three goals to nil against arch-rivals Lazio. As far as real matches go, Juventus beat Verona to go top of Serie B.

Weekend Break

2006-12-08T15:50:00.000+01:00

This is your usual management note informing you that J'accuse will not be updated over the weekend. I am off to Lille for the weekend. Shopping and Michael Flatley's Lord of the Dance beckon. Could someone water the plants while I am gone?

Meanwhile, spare a thought for those indian men... goodness gracious me!

The Legendary (TGIL)

2006-12-07T10:46:00.000+01:00

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it. -
Moses Hadas

Lorna's column oon today's Times is devoted to an auto-crit of her first publication that is apparently entitled "Il-Ktejjeb tal-Hrejjef" (wrongly translated by the dame to "The Booklet of Legends" instead of what would have been a more appropriate "The Booklet of Tales"). Having probably given up hope that any book critic would one day review her collection of tales, the Dame embarks on a profound analysis of the purpose of the book, the message and the subtleties involved. The reason she gives for this self-indulgence is that some of those who purchased her booklet are "getting back to me with their comments". We are of course gifted with an early Christmas present. So here for you all is another confabulatory discombobulation of the first order by the Dame of the Gramatically Incorrect.

*****

Cultural Learnings of Booklet of Legends for

Make Benefit of Glorious Readers of the Trash Corner

Through My Eyes [The Inevitable First Person Returns to Haunt Us]

Some of those who had purchased my first publication Il-Ktejjeb tal-Hrejjef (The Booklet of Legends) are getting back to me with their comments [It's a miracle that they are not getting at her with blunt, heavy instruments]. This is the reason why I decided to reply to all at one go through this article. [And not because no one else seems to be talking about the little booklet of Legends/tales].

It seems as if there was actually some space for political satire in the Maltese market. [Sandwiched between the stand of the fake cds and the one selling pancieri for that oversized backside - Thank God She Noticed]. The same applies to all the caricatures that accompany the tale [So it is a tale - erm "the same applies" does not really fit here], credit going to young artist Mark Scicluna, exclusively inspired [Exclusively inspired? As in without any competition?] by the most recent political history of our Republic [The Most Recent, today the synonym / antonym book is not quite doing its job when looking for superlatives].

Why go some 400 years back? [Why Indeed?]

Temporal detachment leads to emotional detachment. [Of course. All roads lead to Rome and the Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions and Leeds United (sorry for the childish pun)]. Today's people speak impartially of yesterday's generations [I love to speak impartially about my Granny, God rest her soul], no matter how heinous, immorally unacceptable or detrimental [Detri-fuckin-mental?] their actions were [Nasty granny in her panciera heinously snogging grandpa under the fig tree on a summer's eve]. This brings about rational judgement [No it doesn't. You've already lost us. Don't give me this talk about rational judgement] usually supported by proof that is put together "only too late" [Ok. Now we are really on a different planet. What proof? Is it heinous?] and substantiated with knowledge only afforded by "hindsight" [Hindsight affords knowledge. How rich is hindsight?]. We, as subjective observers of our times [You as the most confusing writer in the history of English as it is bamboozled], are naturally hindered from such objectivity [That there is some kind of natural hindrance comes as no surprise] and shrouded in a thick [Hmm. Thick. Just the adjective I had in my mind] sense of denial of truth itself. [Right. Now read this paragraph again ignoring my comments. Does it make sense? Do you feel a sense of denial creeping on your brain?]

Therefore the détachement in time in Il-Ktejjeb tal-Hrejjef is done on purpose [Q.E.D. note the subtle accent on the "e" in détachement - le touch Francais de la Dame]. The more painful it is the better [In the case of her painful grasp of logical sentence construction, this must be magnificent]. The more unfit the adaptations of today's events to yesteryear's scenario the better [So basically if I get it.. .you write an anachronistic set of legends and then justify the ill-fitting result by grasping onto some possible shocking effect on the reader... wasn't your writing enough? Potevamo stupirvi con effetti speciali... invece scrive Lorna]. The more the presumptuous reader [ Yeah baby... tell them... presumptious bastards] denies it, the more the author confirms the above-mentioned sense of denial [She cannot lose can she? It's the Emperor's New Clothes all over... only its the Pemrepors Ewn Tholces and they're King Size Lorna Mould].

In Il-Ktejjeb tal-Hrejjef my/our story is made "his story" also known as "history". [ A prize of Lm100,000 to anyone who can decipher this sentence probably written in the code of Labourite Freemasons and Michael Jackosn]. The overwhelming sense of denial of nations en masse still occurs today [Do I sniff the scent of Alienation here? Matthew Dimech where are you when we need you?]. For those who may have wondered how nations live through times of misery, they ought to know that usually one is likely to find a people divided in two [mostly schizo's]: The critics, rebels or adversaries (most of the time ignored for a long time until proven right [Guess under which category TGIL falls?]) and the unconditional political/religious devotees [For those who are still having trouble of picturing this scenario just look at Malta under Mintoff].

Soon, we'll realise that we are like our forefathers. Like them, sometimes we've acted foolishly. They must have believed in witches and broomsticks; we believe in virtuosity and virgin politicians. [No. I believe in a good rest, good food and plenty of humour.. and I couldn't give two hoots if Alfred Sant is a virgin or not]. However, we could say that their means were limited [Whose means?]. At least, their means of communications were definitely much more limited [I guess it is the forefathers then]. However, that comes as no consolation. Rather, it may show we are the more pitiful as, with more means of communications and ways of verifying truth, we fall into the same trap of deceit [Yes. It is alienation. We let ourselves be decieved!]. In fact, the book attempts to build up somewhat of a "the emperor's new clothes" [See! I told you!] scenario where the more intelligent you are, the more you can understand it. The prouder you are, the more hindered you are from reading into it. That, at least, should put stupidity and pride on the same level. [A bit like what Lorna does every other week. - Incidentally she is building a defence from criticism... if you do not like the book then you are stupid and proud. If you like it then you are Lorna.]

Some commented on me being biased [In the words of the poet: It wasn't me]. Of course I am. At least I don't try to look that I'm not [to look that I'm not? Loverly]! I never purported to be what I'm not. I'm just amazed at their amazement at discovering the bias [And we are amazed that there was someone to be sufficiently amazed to make you amazed]. Don't they know everybody is? [Erm. I'll skip this one]

And as to leeway for interpretation, well, interpretation yes and how [I love this one. Yes and how?]. That's what it was all meant to be about. [The meaning of Life and all] I hope the debate and discussions the book triggers take much longer than the time one takes to read the book itself. [She would probably be better off hoping that any debate is triggered in the first place] The fact that some of the people who approached me on the subject either spoke about it at length or went on to speak about current politics [As in avoided the subject?] is satisfactory enough and shows that the primary goal has already been reached.

Is it real or fictitious? [Is it a bird, is it a plane?]

Some people also asked whether all characters were meant to represent real characters or if some were fictitious. Well, the female characters are the only totally fictitious ones. Unfortunately, we have no influential matriarchs involved in politics and were it not for the two fictitious females introduced at the last minute before publication, the book would have been too sexually biased. [Way to go. Give us a matriarch or two otherwise Hsejjes would be disappointed!]

All the male characters, on the other hand, are inspired by a real, current key player in the Maltese political scenario. The characteristics of the character [ehe], the relationship with the other characters and the narration should readily reveal to the knowledgeable reader and current affairs enthusiast the identity of the politician "the way I see him", that is, "through my eyes". [Let me see. There must definitely be a superhero who is the messiah, the saviour and the toupeed musketeer all in one. And his name will be some kind of anagram for A L F R E D.]

Criticism is one of the aims.

One cheeky [I want to be cheeky too!] person who commented on the book asked if I'd mind too much criticism. I don't really know why he sincerely thought this would put me down [Duh! He should have known better]. But, out of mere respect, my answer was that "criticism is one of the aims" [The Oracle at Delphi is known to have emitted less vague pronouncements]. If I didn't expect any criticism, I wouldn't have invested in the book at all.

However, first and foremost, the first aim is political education through satire. On the book I mention an author's name. And that is Francois Rabelais [Here begins the usual name-dropping witnessed last time with Vinaver].

Those who've read some of his lines [ Like for example from a book fo quotes] would know what education through ridicule of the political élite means. [This is offensive. Why read Rabelais when you could log on to J'Accuse daily?] The unconditional acceptance of the allegedly corrupt political behaviour of our times will be tested at the next general election [By being given a choice between the allegedly corrupt and the potentially equally corrupt]. That will be a national thermometer that will gauge a hotchpotch [I prefer the HODGEPODGE spelling] of excessive tolerance [She means tolerating the intolerable], a sense of denial and unconditional partisanship on the one side and unshackled political thinking on the other [Being a nashinalist is being unconditionally partisan, being a lejberist is being an unshackled political thinker].

People grumble for reform but, to quote Francois Rabelais himself, applying it to political change "I have known many who could not when they would, for they had not done it when they could".

[And to quote J'accuse: "We have read one who could not when she would, for she had done disastrously when she did"].

2006-12-07T08:57:00.000+01:00

Evil Scotsman (Parental Advisory)

Dedicated to Neebother and his musical interludes.

Azul (muzajk iehor)

2006-12-06T19:13:00.000+01:00

While we are still waiting patiently for Antoine Cassar's return to the blogosphere with the follow up to Maqluba, J'accuse is glad to host his latest muzajk - a multilingual poetic creation. We share the emotion that is expressed in this one - the saudade, or longing for that blue, blue sea that is far away. So here it is... entitled "Azul"

Azul

Azul, te quiero azul, azul como la mar
tal-Qrendi. Vieni, scendi, porte-moi sur les ondes,
entre acianos marinos, lejl u nhar, near and far,
take me down, let me drown, sa għerq iż-żerq tal-fond...

Blanc et noir? J'en ai marre! Ô qu'on me laisse choir!
Azul. Not grey, nor blond, no soggy northern pond,
saphir, kaħlani nir, tout être, ne rien avoir,
in quel regno di quiete my subprimordial bond.

Azul, azul del sur, blu dipinto di blu,
la mer, cette grande lumière, toi la vague, moi l'île nue…

O to be who I was, who I was to be me!
O for my wretched soul to dissolve into the sea!

Familja, meta mmut, la tixtħunix fit-tebut:
remmduni, u xerrduni fil-baħar ta' Ħaġar Qim.

Luxembourg, 1 December 2006

Blue

Blue, I want you blue, blue like the sea / of Qrendi. Come, descend, take me on the waves, / among marine cornflowers, night and day, near and far, / take me down, let me drown, to the root of the blue of the deep…

White and black? I've had enough! O may one let me fall! / Blue. Not grey, nor blond, no soggy northern pond, / sapphire, indigo blue, to be all, to have nothing, / in that realm of silence my subprimordial bond.

Blue, blue of the south, blue painted blue, / the sea, that great light, you the wave, I the naked isle...

O to be who I was, who I was to be me! / O for my wretched soul to dissolve into the sea!

Family, when I die, throw me not into the coffin: / make me ash, and scatter me in the sea of Ħaġar Qim.

Leaks

2006-12-06T16:09:00.000+01:00

BBCN News covers this leak first obtained by ABC News:

The Iraq Study Group, a US cross-party body charged with reviewing policy on Iraq, is due to issue its long-awaited report. Below are key quotes from the report's executive summary, as seen by US broadcaster ABC.

Useful? Dunno. But much more interesting than the faffle provided by the MLPN media.

V is for Victory

2006-12-06T11:10:00.000+01:00

A reluctant Scipio Africanus before the destruction of Carthage

So tell me again. How do you win a war? Scipio Africanus had it easy. His idea of winning the war was razing Carthage to the ground and spreading salt over its fields so nothing could grow again. Before he got the pleasure of doing this, a certain Senator named Cato used to end all his speeches with the phrase "Ceterum censeo Cartaginem esse delendam" ("I also think that Carthage must be destroyed") after a visit of his to Carthage (see Axis of Evil).

When the Romans, bidding to rid themselves once and for all of the Carthaginian threat, required a casus belli (excuse for war – see WMDs) they created near-impossible demands for the Carthaginians – such as that Carthage be destroyed and re-assembled away from the sea. Probably the senate had had enough of hearing Cato call for Carthaginian destruction after every speech (see Bushisms). (Can you imagine – I support the increase of tax to five sestertii, and by the way I think Carthage must be destroyed).

So yes, they made abominable requests that would be unacceptable to the jolly band of Carthaginians (see valorous Maghrebins). So it meant war. War meant three years of siege of the city and in the final months ended up in street warfare for complete control. Here is Scipio Africanus' victorious To Do List:

1. Sack City
2. Burn & Destroy City
3. Enslave all Carthaginians
4. Sow salt in ground.

Clear no? I mean, it did take them three years but they knew where they stood at the end of it (149 BC).

Let us all then thank God for Bob Gates – the incumbent Defence Secretary – who seems to be quite certain that the US is not winning the war. Today we (and Bush) should be hearing from the Independent Report ( Cross-Party, Iraq Study Group) on the War in Iraq. For the sake of future history books let us hope that we have a clear answer on who is winning.

So far as we can see there are only losers out there… many.

Scipio looked over the city which had flourished for over seven hundred years since its foundation, which had ruled over such extensive territories, islands,and seas, and been as rich in arms, fleets, elephants, and money as the greatest empires, but which had surpassed them in daring and high courage, since though deprived of all its arms and ships it had yet withstood a great siege and famine for three years, and was now coming to an end in total destruction; and he is said to have wept and openly lamented the fate of his enemy. After meditating a long time on the fact that not only individuals but cities, nations, and empires must all inevitably come to an end, and on fate of Troy, that once glorious city, on the fall of the Assyrian, Median, and Persian empires, and on the more recent destruction of the brilliant empire of the Macedonians, deliberately or subconsciously he quoted the words of Hector from Homer--'The day shall come when sacred Troy shall fall, and King Priam and all his warrior people with him.' And when Polybius, who was with him, asked him what he meant, he turned and took him by the hand, saying: 'This is a glorious moment, Polybius; and yet I am seized with fear and foreboding that some day the same fate will befall my own country.

Post Scriptum: After writing this post I came across this excellent article by former world chess champion Gary Kasparov. Ceterum censeo Cartaginem esse delendam.

The Alien Nation

2006-12-06T11:07:00.000+01:00

This article (Forget Alienation - maltastar links always end up in main page) in Maltastar is deeply disturbing. I must confess that I do not know who Matthew Dimech is, but after reading this paragraph:

If we conceive that the ‘triumphs’ of neo-liberalism derive from a deconstruction of the divisions between what is authentic and inauthentic, then it should be comfortable to take on the proposition that the fruits of deconstructing authenticity have been to render critical political thought obsolete in a society of simulation, where images constitute reality instead of representing it.

… I am not sure I want to. Not because I agree or disagree with the content of course. No. The reason I would be scared to meet Mr Dimech is simply that I cannot conceive of anyone who could sit down at his pc and decide that such GIGO would be remotely interesting to any reader. Half the article he writes is taken up by quotes from Baudrillard and Boltanski. The words in the article include "simulacrum", "creditable" (wrongly used), "conceptualised alienation", "legitimizing unlimited accumulation", "dominance of the spectacle", and of course the whole paragraph that I have reproduced.

J'accuse identifies in this meisterwork a typical example of the "Stunning Method" that is quite a common appearance among the Maltese media. The pioneers of the style include Lorna V and Desmond ZM… they will stun you with verbose crap and long-winded sentences until you have absolutely no idea what they are on about. Like the python they hope to crush you with their sentences before going for the kill.

Dimech has added a twist of his own and adopts the technical languages of what sounds and smells like proto-commie linguistics (see? I can do it too) to tell us something that (maybe) points to disappearance of alienation in favour of transparency. The problem is that after reading the three paragraphs of his comment I feel more alienated than ever.

Leaky Politics

2006-12-05T15:59:00.000+01:00

Leaks have an important part to play in politics. A good politician knows how to place a well-timed leak to boost his position. Fans of the Yes Minister! series will definitely understand what I am talking about. Sometimes a leak is a form of telling the public some good news in advance. Like a probable cut in taxes. Sometimes someone leaks information about another party's possible sinister plans. This too can be productive in a way - forcing the hand of the other party to deny the plans and possibly abandon them.

But when the leak itself becomes the story then there is no story. It is just pique. What value can be ascribed to the fact that the nationalist press has access to the agenda for the next Labour meeting have to the general public? That the two parties are still engaged in dirty handed games? What else? I'm sorry, I may be naive but I just don't get it.

Now, when Britney Spears' ex-husband threatens to leak sordid details about their private life.... that's another story.

To see more about the political leaks click here.

Non Sequitur #65

2006-12-04T12:37:00.000+01:00

Golden Jubilee

In March 2007 two 50 year commemorations will take place. Both will be celebrated albeit by two very different sets of peoples. The first is the 50th anniversary of the signing of the Treaty of Rome - the EU turns 50. This will take place on the 25th of March. Fifteen days before, on the 10th, the notorious O.B.L. will also turn fifty. Osama Bin Laden, the world's most wanted man turns fifty that day.

On a minor note, 10th March also happens to be (rather coincidentally) J'accuse's birthday.

Hype, Habit and Breasts

2006-12-04T12:07:00.000+01:00

Meanwhile, the rest of the world - people who may be hearing the words
"blog", "wiki" and "podcast" for the first time - will begin to use these new media as they become simple and ubiquitous, just as e-mail became truly simple and ubiquitous when Hotmail made it so in 1997. Slowly but surely, these technologically unpretentious people will spend less time vegetating in front of the box and instead become their own television and radio programmers, listening to and watching their chosen entertainment on their iPods and other screens as they please. They will gradually lose interest inthe mass media and defect to "personal" media.

- Andreas Kluth, When the hype dies down
- The World in 2007, Economist Publication

The New Year is round the corner. Soon your favourite publication will be thrilling you with lists of highlights of the past year and even more lists about what to expect from the next. The Economist's annual "The World in..." publication has been a regular purchase of mine since around 1996. It is a highly recommendable assessment of current trends and political and social developments that includes "prophetic" projections of what to expect from the year ahead.

This year's edition includes interesting arguments about the authority vacuum in the world, the ever-increasing importance of the climate change question and the temporary crisis of democracy. The above quote is from one of the articles that deals with the development of the web phenomenon. It should come as no surprise to regular J'Accuse readers that I am in agreement with the general gist of the writer. J'accuse would add that the defection away from the mass media in Malta will be much more gradual than elsewhere notwithstanding the efforts of such projects as espresso. As we have already said... old habits die hard.

***

Speaking of habit, J'accuse notes the appointment of the new archbishop. Unlike most others we do not have much to say about this event. Unfortunately it means one less Gozitan at the helm of a leading institution on the islands. Gone are the days when being a big-head required a bit of Gozitan DNA. On a more serious note, we were more interested in Cardinal Hummes of Sao Paolo and his declarations regarding celibacy. The Brasilian Cardinal returned from the Vatican discussions and immediately proclaimed to his flock that celibacy is not a dogma, that it is more like a form of discipline imposed by the church. He reminded everyone that some of Jesus' closest associates were married (like Andrew and Peter). We like the way this guy thinks...

***

Victor Galea, Secretary General of the Green Party, was one of the first to congratulate Fr Paul on his appointment as Archbishop. J'accuse has often commented on this weird habit in Maltese politics. A bit like the Local Council of Bubaqra announcing its position on abortion. Or the Curia commenting on the election of a party leader. What is the point? true, the church is a social participant with its own role in society. But why should it be so important for AD or any other party to publicly congratulate the new prelate (is he a prelate?)? A private letter would have done no? My guess is that AD are trying to shed off the green commie anti-church image that was cast on them from the PN quarters - read the abortion issue pre-EU elections. If so this is a rather naff way of going about it. Anyways, at least now I know the name of the Sec-Gen of the Greens.

***

And now for the picture.

It would seem that Malta has not yet ratified the Maternity Convention. Shame. Especially after all those Breast is Best posters.

Please note that I refrained from low jokes about bunches of tits being able to pass such a law without any trouble.

When the wind turns

2006-12-03T17:03:00.000+01:00

"Noi aiutati? Mai, anzi.... Sono tutte dicerie di qualche invidioso perchè stiamo dando fastidio a qualche altra squadra. Noi cerchiamo di lottare sul campo e vincere con nostri mezzi, senza aiuti. Secondo me gli arbitri si stanno comportando abbastanza bene".

Parola di uomo vero. It seems that what's good for the goose is not good for the gander. Checca Totti seems to be convinced that the refereeing that, among other things, gave Rigetta two penalties to overturn a 1-0 deficit versus Atalanta is just good refereeing. This from the team that thrived on conspiracy theories and loves to act as the martyr when things are going wrong. Ah well... what goes around will come around.

PS. I also think that a player who decides to turn his back on the national team should be banned from the team for life... whether he is a Brasilian superstar, Pavel Nedved or someone who only dreams of winning the Golden Ball.

Stir It Up

2006-12-02T18:56:00.000+01:00

What's brewing in the paper. Statements from today's Times.
Floriana is just Valletta's suburb, nothing more. (local?)

Where are the champions of Maltese language? (abroad?)

It's very positive that new airlines are showing an interest in starting the service as this means there is a wider mix. (Flight of fancy?)

Last moth was one of the sunniest Novembers in the last 80 years. (why move to Luxembourg?)

Lawyer's role is no joking matter. (who's laughing?)

It is to be hoped that the political parties, now that election season is over the horizon, will not fall victim to the temptation to pander to the whims of the hunting lobby. (wishful thinking?)

***

Suave molecules of Mocha stir up your blood, without causing excess heat; the organ of thought receives from it a feeling of sympathy; work becomes easier and you will sit down without distress to your principal repast which will restore your body and afford you a calm, delicious night. (Prince Talleyrand)

Non Sequitur #64

2006-12-01T09:14:00.000+01:00

Folding Paper

It's not a scientific rule, it's more "accepted wisdom". You cannot keep folding a piece of paper in half for more than (insert number between seven and ten) times. The most common claim is seven times. It would seem that some American student solved this problem of "common knowledge" and has succeeded in folding a paper for 12 times. To do it, she needed 1.2 km of bog paper. Which proves that given enough time on a toilet, provided that there is a sufficient amount of toilet paper and patience... anything can be solved.

Other's prefer to quote Spanish poet Juan Ramon Jimenez as an example of pereseverance against all odds: "If they give you ruled paper, then write the other way".

The Ideal Salary

Here's one for ajjut! The Office series. It's a suggestion for your next job interview. If you are being interviewed and the potential employer decides to ask you that corny questin: "How much would you expect to earn?" do not look confused and uncomfortable. Instead adopt your best charitable look that says "I'm here to learn and do not need much money" and then suggest the following salary agreement to your employer.

On the first day you will receive 1 cent. On the next day this will double to 2 cents. The doubling will only go on for 30 days and then it will stop and you will be paid a monthly rate fixed at the value reached on the 30th day. Nothing much no? A few cents out of the employers pocket and everybody's happy.

Right.

Now take some time to actually work it out. Whether it's Euro Cents, Maltese Cents or American Cents makes little difference. I am sure you would agree with me that you have struck the right deal. All you need to do is find a potential employer who is gullible enough to sign up to the contract.

Postcard from Lux

2006-11-30T18:48:00.000+01:00

Dear All,

Got a visit from my brother.
Busy shopping and generally enjoying myself.
Back as soon as I can.
Wish you were here.

Jacques Ooze

P.S. Don't forget to check espresso every now and then.

The PET Nostradamus

2006-11-29T10:28:00.000+01:00

P.E.T is a "special" kind of plastic. It is meant to be environment-friendly. When the industry calls something like PET environment-friendly you should most probably consider it a euphemism. In this case calling it environment-friendly is equivalent to calling the "lethal injection" (as against the electric chair) humane. In Malta we already have products that are packaged in PET - water bottles. Your average San Michel and Elan bottle is produced in PET. Until now we have been spared the plastic Coke, Pepsi and whatsnot bottles.

The reason why you cannot buy your 2 litre plastic bottle of Coke from Hamrun yet is a Legal Notice issued by our Government in 1998 (L.N. 158 of 1998). It might seem to be a very environment-friendly law by an environment-conscious governments. It prohibits the sale of soft drinks in anything but reusable glass. Some of you might remember Spark Cola that was marketed in plastic (not even PET) around the year 2000. Its importers/producers tried to argue that it did not fall under the LN because it was an energy drink. Why was it an energy drink? Because it contained sugar. You can guess that they did not win the argument.

But back to the Legal Notice. The real reason for its existence is the protection of local soft drink producers. You see, the seemingly environment-friendly law masks a protectionist measure in favour of Messrs Farsons and Coca-Cola. By outlawing PET bottles government effectively outlawed parallel importation of crates of Coke from Sicily. What we have is a measure with positive environmental effects but with purely economic intentions.

Now, I am completely in favour of keeping PET out of the country. I would love to see LN 158 of 1998 to live long and prosper. I personally do not care about the original underlying protective intentions. In my mind I see Malta avoiding a mountain of plastic waste (PET just takes less long to vanish) by keeping PET out. Unfortunately PET bottles are one of the negative reasons for joining the European Union. The imperatives of the common market dictate that regulating packaging to the detriment of potential importation is disciminatory and therefore prohibited. Which is why Malta had to negotiate a transition period for Legal Notice 158 to be phased out - and for PET soft drinks to be phased in. Which is why by the end of next year you can buy your Pepsi Max in plastic bottles.

Which is sad. Which is unavoidable. Unfortunately the arguments of environmental harm do not convince the ECJ. Denmark failed to convince the ECJ of the impact that allowing aluminium cans into its market would have on its enviornment while arguing lack of space. Malta's lack of disposal space also failed to hit the right note with the Commission at negotiation stage. So we are phasing PET in.

Simon Busuttil tells us that this transition period is also good for our local industry to prepare to be competitive (read to be able to produce its fair share of PET soft drinks). He tells us that it is calculated that we will be seeing an influx of around 80 million PET bottles annually. So he tells us that we should be getting ready for recycle and reuse. In his words...

So by the time the ban on soft drinks in plastic bottles is lifted in a year's time, we should be implementing a sound waste management strategy to deal effectively with the waste that will come with it. This is crucial if we are to continue promoting environment-friendly methods, such as the refilling of containers, and limiting both glass and plastic from our waste stream. The brutal truth is that, even after we dispose of it, our waste remains ours. And that means we have to foot the bill.

Now I do not know whether to read this as a promise from a Nationalist MEP or a warning from a politician to his party in government. Is Simon being prophetic and telling us what we will definitely have or is he informing the government that in a years time it might have another expensive and dirty problem on its hands?

In French (and it would seem in Italian) the word PET means "fart". A fart is essentially noxious, foul-smelling air emitted at the terminal end of consumption. Weird really. Language can be wonderful sometimes.

A Fresh Brew

2006-11-28T08:38:00.000+01:00

I am pleased to announce the launching of Espresso a bilingual paper from Malta. The idea behind the paper is to promote alternative ideas and ways of thinking - to give free space to individuals who want to express themselves. In the words of Claire Bonello ("Letting the Bastards Speak"):

I agree with sieving out libellous material and needlessly insulting comments but do local editors have to be so terribly cautious? Even when the end result of their editing are bland, no-interest pseudo opinion pieces? As for not being able to criticise newspaper proprietors and big advertisers, does this mean that the freedom of the press in Malta boils down to the freedom of being able to own your own newspaper? Sadly, that’s the way things are turning out on the home front. If you’re irked by this state of affairs and want to get your message across, send in your contributions and articles to “espresso”. As long as it’s short, sharp and pick-me-up like its coffee namesake, it will be published without over-zealous corrections and the insertion of polite euphemisms. We can afford a little more directness in Malta.

J'accuse will have a weekly column on espresso. The first goes out today - called the alternative media. The word alternative is not casual or coincidental. It is there for a reason. Espresso will also be a vehicle for the thoughts of alternattiva demokratika's exponents. In truth, anyone can write. Anyone can contribute with an article about anything under the sun. The editorial board has promised minimised editing - so long as it is "short, sharp and pick-me-up". So if, like me, you are not a member or affiliate of AD you are still free to contribute your ideas to a paper that hopes to be another contribution to changing the way the nation thinks.

Finally, a nod is due here to Ian Meli who has set up the site notwithstanding all the constraints and limits that he had to cope with. It is still not a finished product but the content and design will evolve as time passes. So get clicking to Espresso... and start typing too!

Meanwhile Gakbu Sfigho has sent in his own advert for the magazine:

IRRICORRU IRRICORRU IRRICORRU
IDHLU GEUUA IS-SIT ESPRESSO.COM.MT PHEIN IL-LIBERTA' TAL-HSIEB U L-ESPRESSIONI HIA MGHOZZA DACS MITCLA DEHEB. CHED ISCOMMU IR-RIHA TA' IDEAT? CHED ISCOMMU L-AROMA TAL-ARTICOLI IRRACMATI BI HSIEB HIELES? MELA SC'IL CANNA CHED TISTENNEU? IDHLU ISSA GO ESPRESSO.COM.MT U ZGUR MA JISGHOBICHOMSC.

espresso.com.mt
bollettin mahsub u mitbugh phuch l-eteru
imtella' minn geuua melita
taiieb ghat tphal u ghal chbar
u int... sc'cafe' thobb tiscrobb?

The Return of the Jack

2006-11-27T15:45:00.000+01:00

And I am back. Apologies for the unannounced absence. Thing is I have been sick first and busy later. This, coupled with some social events over the weekend, prevented me from getting anything more than a fleeting glance at what's going on in the blogosphere. You can stop worrying now... j'accuse is healthy, ready to go and as bloghorreic as ever thanks to the pause that was also a tad bit refreshing.

***

Over the weekend I was glad to host Ranier Fsadni over at Rue de Bragance for a drink and a chat. And chat we did. I can say that the experience was a pleasant one and we exchanged a few ideas about the usefulness of blogs for experienced pundits like himself. I failed to convince Ranier to get his own blog going due to a number of reasons that I cannot list here (simply because they would need a blog of their own). On the other hand it is nice to know that our little, disorganised contribution to the world of ideas is being read by the aforementioned pundits. A step forward I would say. (I know I will not be getting a "Hear! Hear" from this particular blogger who has now labelled me a list-watcher). One of the things Ranier seems to dislike is disjointed columns that shift from one topic to another. Like this one today. Sorry Ranier.

***

I draw some inspiration from today's Times news items. A quick ramble is what I shall do. Not of the kind that these people would prohibit with the use of menace and a load of lead pellets. Malta' equivalent of the foxhunt fraternity are threatening to go out en masse once again. Lovely. Now they are being "intimidated" by the police whenever the force decides to verify if they are pursuing their hobby (namur) within the limits of the law. Obviously if it were up to the sharpshooters among them such limits would obviously be non-existent and barbaric cullings of all things volatile will persevere perversely till kingdom come.

The police on the other hand are having a few intimidatory problems of their own, as it turns out in this episode of cowboy show at Hal-Balzan. The orizzont correspondent asks whether lone sherriffs posted in police stations at night time should be armed in case some berserk drunkard like the 24 year old Furjaniz turns up armed with lead pipe and kitchen knife. A good question indeed. Armed police can also overreact as happened in Queens New York last week. Quid Juris? I am not sure which side to lean to.

Interestingly from the political pages we have Alfred Sant shouting that inflation is killing the country just as "No New Taxes" Gonzi announces that new reductions in the surcharge will be forthcoming. Not so surcharge, not so inflationary then. What arms for the citizen for legitmate self-defence in these circumstances I ask?

Spare a thought for the Gozitan farmer and his sad sad story where he ends up getting a ticket for driving his tractor one-way up a Sliema road. Pity that said tractor never leaves the diamond isle and has never ventured beyond the green green grass of Marsalforn. I think I recognise Joseph Micallef though. He's the guy who used to shoo away a much younger J'accuse from his fields of beans in Easter. Still. He deserves better than fines for non-existent contraventions. At least the Gozitan's have the decency to see that you are sitting in their restaurant when they present you with the legendary hefty bill. How would the warden like to receive a bill for a nof tuzzana gbejniet he never sniffed... let alone consumed?

I also read that Smart supermarket is celebrating its 25th Anniversary. Probably the best year for the celebration. So much free publicity and all that... Smartmalta indeed.

Finally in the sports pages I could not be happier about City's wonderful victory over ir-Rahal. Way to go boys!

***

And from the blogosphere, gybexi points us to an interesting song by Brikkuni (he describes them as an underground Maltese band). Expect a special edition of the song to feature in Muzika Mod Iehor where you can distinctly hearToni sipping a glass of wine in the background of the recording as he discovers this new Maltese band. By the way. I should also thank Gybexi for starting to post the video clips of Ahna Ahna Jew M'Ahniex on the net.

***

This has been the return of j'accuse - "bigger, bolder and rougher and tougher"*

*Now where did you hear those lyrics before? (come on, all you rave junkies)