Postcard from Lux

Dear All,

Got a visit from my brother.
Busy shopping and generally enjoying myself.
Back as soon as I can.
Wish you were here.

Jacques Ooze

P.S. Don't forget to check espresso every now and then.

The PET Nostradamus

P.E.T is a "special" kind of plastic. It is meant to be environment-friendly. When the industry calls something like PET environment-friendly you should most probably consider it a euphemism. In this case calling it environment-friendly is equivalent to calling the "lethal injection" (as against the electric chair) humane. In Malta we already have products that are packaged in PET - water bottles. Your average San Michel and Elan bottle is produced in PET. Until now we have been spared the plastic Coke, Pepsi and whatsnot bottles.

The reason why you cannot buy your 2 litre plastic bottle of Coke from Hamrun yet is a Legal Notice issued by our Government in 1998 (L.N. 158 of 1998). It might seem to be a very environment-friendly law by an environment-conscious governments. It prohibits the sale of soft drinks in anything but reusable glass. Some of you might remember Spark Cola that was marketed in plastic (not even PET) around the year 2000. Its importers/producers tried to argue that it did not fall under the LN because it was an energy drink. Why was it an energy drink? Because it contained sugar. You can guess that they did not win the argument.

But back to the Legal Notice. The real reason for its existence is the protection of local soft drink producers. You see, the seemingly environment-friendly law masks a protectionist measure in favour of Messrs Farsons and Coca-Cola. By outlawing PET bottles government effectively outlawed parallel importation of crates of Coke from Sicily. What we have is a measure with positive environmental effects but with purely economic intentions.

Now, I am completely in favour of keeping PET out of the country. I would love to see LN 158 of 1998 to live long and prosper. I personally do not care about the original underlying protective intentions. In my mind I see Malta avoiding a mountain of plastic waste (PET just takes less long to vanish) by keeping PET out. Unfortunately PET bottles are one of the negative reasons for joining the European Union. The imperatives of the common market dictate that regulating packaging to the detriment of potential importation is disciminatory and therefore prohibited. Which is why Malta had to negotiate a transition period for Legal Notice 158 to be phased out - and for PET soft drinks to be phased in. Which is why by the end of next year you can buy your Pepsi Max in plastic bottles.

Which is sad. Which is unavoidable. Unfortunately the arguments of environmental harm do not convince the ECJ. Denmark failed to convince the ECJ of the impact that allowing aluminium cans into its market would have on its enviornment while arguing lack of space. Malta's lack of disposal space also failed to hit the right note with the Commission at negotiation stage. So we are phasing PET in.

Simon Busuttil tells us that this transition period is also good for our local industry to prepare to be competitive (read to be able to produce its fair share of PET soft drinks). He tells us that it is calculated that we will be seeing an influx of around 80 million PET bottles annually. So he tells us that we should be getting ready for recycle and reuse. In his words...

So by the time the ban on soft drinks in plastic bottles is lifted in a year's time, we should be implementing a sound waste management strategy to deal effectively with the waste that will come with it. This is crucial if we are to continue promoting environment-friendly methods, such as the refilling of containers, and limiting both glass and plastic from our waste stream. The brutal truth is that, even after we dispose of it, our waste remains ours. And that means we have to foot the bill.

Now I do not know whether to read this as a promise from a Nationalist MEP or a warning from a politician to his party in government. Is Simon being prophetic and telling us what we will definitely have or is he informing the government that in a years time it might have another expensive and dirty problem on its hands?

In French (and it would seem in Italian) the word PET means "fart". A fart is essentially noxious, foul-smelling air emitted at the terminal end of consumption. Weird really. Language can be wonderful sometimes.

A Fresh Brew

I am pleased to announce the launching of Espresso a bilingual paper from Malta. The idea behind the paper is to promote alternative ideas and ways of thinking - to give free space to individuals who want to express themselves. In the words of Claire Bonello ("Letting the Bastards Speak"):

I agree with sieving out libellous material and needlessly insulting comments but do local editors have to be so terribly cautious? Even when the end result of their editing are bland, no-interest pseudo opinion pieces? As for not being able to criticise newspaper proprietors and big advertisers, does this mean that the freedom of the press in Malta boils down to the freedom of being able to own your own newspaper? Sadly, that’s the way things are turning out on the home front. If you’re irked by this state of affairs and want to get your message across, send in your contributions and articles to “espresso”. As long as it’s short, sharp and pick-me-up like its coffee namesake, it will be published without over-zealous corrections and the insertion of polite euphemisms. We can afford a little more directness in Malta.

J'accuse will have a weekly column on espresso. The first goes out today - called the alternative media. The word alternative is not casual or coincidental. It is there for a reason. Espresso will also be a vehicle for the thoughts of alternattiva demokratika's exponents. In truth, anyone can write. Anyone can contribute with an article about anything under the sun. The editorial board has promised minimised editing - so long as it is "short, sharp and pick-me-up". So if, like me, you are not a member or affiliate of AD you are still free to contribute your ideas to a paper that hopes to be another contribution to changing the way the nation thinks.

Finally, a nod is due here to Ian Meli who has set up the site notwithstanding all the constraints and limits that he had to cope with. It is still not a finished product but the content and design will evolve as time passes. So get clicking to Espresso... and start typing too!

Meanwhile Gakbu Sfigho has sent in his own advert for the magazine:

IRRICORRU IRRICORRU IRRICORRU
IDHLU GEUUA IS-SIT ESPRESSO.COM.MT PHEIN IL-LIBERTA' TAL-HSIEB U L-ESPRESSIONI HIA MGHOZZA DACS MITCLA DEHEB. CHED ISCOMMU IR-RIHA TA' IDEAT? CHED ISCOMMU L-AROMA TAL-ARTICOLI IRRACMATI BI HSIEB HIELES? MELA SC'IL CANNA CHED TISTENNEU? IDHLU ISSA GO ESPRESSO.COM.MT U ZGUR MA JISGHOBICHOMSC.

espresso.com.mt
bollettin mahsub u mitbugh phuch l-eteru
imtella' minn geuua melita
taiieb ghat tphal u ghal chbar
u int... sc'cafe' thobb tiscrobb?

The Return of the Jack

And I am back. Apologies for the unannounced absence. Thing is I have been sick first and busy later. This, coupled with some social events over the weekend, prevented me from getting anything more than a fleeting glance at what's going on in the blogosphere. You can stop worrying now... j'accuse is healthy, ready to go and as bloghorreic as ever thanks to the pause that was also a tad bit refreshing.

***

Over the weekend I was glad to host Ranier Fsadni over at Rue de Bragance for a drink and a chat. And chat we did. I can say that the experience was a pleasant one and we exchanged a few ideas about the usefulness of blogs for experienced pundits like himself. I failed to convince Ranier to get his own blog going due to a number of reasons that I cannot list here (simply because they would need a blog of their own). On the other hand it is nice to know that our little, disorganised contribution to the world of ideas is being read by the aforementioned pundits. A step forward I would say. (I know I will not be getting a "Hear! Hear" from this particular blogger who has now labelled me a list-watcher). One of the things Ranier seems to dislike is disjointed columns that shift from one topic to another. Like this one today. Sorry Ranier.

***

I draw some inspiration from today's Times news items. A quick ramble is what I shall do. Not of the kind that these people would prohibit with the use of menace and a load of lead pellets. Malta' equivalent of the foxhunt fraternity are threatening to go out en masse once again. Lovely. Now they are being "intimidated" by the police whenever the force decides to verify if they are pursuing their hobby (namur) within the limits of the law. Obviously if it were up to the sharpshooters among them such limits would obviously be non-existent and barbaric cullings of all things volatile will persevere perversely till kingdom come.

The police on the other hand are having a few intimidatory problems of their own, as it turns out in this episode of cowboy show at Hal-Balzan. The orizzont correspondent asks whether lone sherriffs posted in police stations at night time should be armed in case some berserk drunkard like the 24 year old Furjaniz turns up armed with lead pipe and kitchen knife. A good question indeed. Armed police can also overreact as happened in Queens New York last week. Quid Juris? I am not sure which side to lean to.

Interestingly from the political pages we have Alfred Sant shouting that inflation is killing the country just as "No New Taxes" Gonzi announces that new reductions in the surcharge will be forthcoming. Not so surcharge, not so inflationary then. What arms for the citizen for legitmate self-defence in these circumstances I ask?

Spare a thought for the Gozitan farmer and his sad sad story where he ends up getting a ticket for driving his tractor one-way up a Sliema road. Pity that said tractor never leaves the diamond isle and has never ventured beyond the green green grass of Marsalforn. I think I recognise Joseph Micallef though. He's the guy who used to shoo away a much younger J'accuse from his fields of beans in Easter. Still. He deserves better than fines for non-existent contraventions. At least the Gozitan's have the decency to see that you are sitting in their restaurant when they present you with the legendary hefty bill. How would the warden like to receive a bill for a nof tuzzana gbejniet he never sniffed... let alone consumed?

I also read that Smart supermarket is celebrating its 25th Anniversary. Probably the best year for the celebration. So much free publicity and all that... Smartmalta indeed.

Finally in the sports pages I could not be happier about City's wonderful victory over ir-Rahal. Way to go boys!

***

And from the blogosphere, gybexi points us to an interesting song by Brikkuni (he describes them as an underground Maltese band). Expect a special edition of the song to feature in Muzika Mod Iehor where you can distinctly hearToni sipping a glass of wine in the background of the recording as he discovers this new Maltese band. By the way. I should also thank Gybexi for starting to post the video clips of Ahna Ahna Jew M'Ahniex on the net.

***

This has been the return of j'accuse - "bigger, bolder and rougher and tougher"*

*Now where did you hear those lyrics before? (come on, all you rave junkies)

On the Mend

Drug users are just about the only minority in Malta who do not complain on a regular basis and who do not regularly threaten the government of some block boycott come voting day. Someone at Dar Centrali must be thanking heavens for that after the headline in today's Times. Apparently after another damning European Study, the conclusion is that the street price for drugs in Malta is the most expensive in Europe. Which should be a positive thing. Which is why I do not understand the slapping of a title with negative connotations. I would have gone with "Maltese Cannot Afford to Be Junkies".

I am typing in short bursts since I still cannot sit at a screen for more than four minutes. Anyways. I read Lorna's article yesterday. Setting aside the language for a moment, I believe she has yet to come up with a more ridiculous suggestion than this last one. Suspending the elections every time some politician decides to play the name game on the eve of an election? Where does she live? That's all MLPN need. An excuse to call off the game when something seems to be going wrong. Reminds me of the kid who owned the football at school. He would grab the ball and decide that the game is over as soon as his team was losing. "Il-loghba hazina..." Incidentally, a big hello to Adrian Caruana Anastasi if he ever comes across the blog... wonder whether you still have that heavy brown football!

Harry's article today might seem rather heavy and legalistic for the lay reader but trust me, it is just as important as Al Gore's documentary - and it might also have some groundbreaking consequences (Vote Harry, Get Action). I once almost wrote a thesis about the actio popularis, instead I chose to write about the role of the ECJ in creating a European Constitution. Looks like the two ends might be about to meet. As usual my current employment precludes me from further comment.

Michael Carabott, writing in the Indy, reports that the Economist has classified Malta as a "true democracy" - placing itself among the 28 pure democracies in the world and actually ranking above the UK and USA. The true democracy tag owes much to both government and opposition. I wonder if the compilers are aware of the sense of frustration that this "true democracy" provokes among those who feel that they are badly represented by the feeble options that are offered to them come election day.

Finally, I cannot close this haphazardly assembled post without mentioning the sad passing away of one of the greatest French actors of all time. Philippe Noiret has died at the age of 76. He will not just be remembered by his home nation but by all of us. Those among you, who like me, consider themselves amateur film enthusiasts (as in not steeped in cinemtographic knowledge) will surely remember the actor who portrayed Pablo Neruda, the exiled Chilean poet in Il Postino. Others will surely shoot off a long list from among the 115 films in which he starred. His first and last love remained the theatre.

I leave you with the words of Dominique de Villepin:

"Through his voice, his allure, his panache, Philippe Noiret knew how to seize and express something within the French soul. The silhouette and the voice, so tender and familiar, will be missed by all".

PS. On the mend... but not yet fully recovered. Thank you for the wishes of speedy recovery.

Sick (brb)

This blogger is down with a bout of gastric flu.

Be right back.

Mind the Gap

The World Economic Forum has published the Global Gender Gap report 2006.

The Global Gender Gap Report 2006 covers all current and candidate European
Union countries, 20 from Latin America and the Caribbean, over 20 from sub-Saharan Africa and 10 from the Arab world. Together, the 115 economies cover over 90% of the world’s population. The index mainly uses publicly available "hard data" indicators drawn from international organizations and some qualitative information from the Forum’s own Executive Opinion Survey. The Global Gender Gap Report 2006 includes an innovative new methodology including detailed profiles of each economy that provide insight into the economic, legal and social aspects of the gender gap. The Report measures the size of the gender gap in four critical areas of inequality between men and women: 1. Economic participation and opportunity – outcomes on salaries, participation levels and access to high-skilled employment 2. Educational attainment – outcomes on access to basic and higher level education 3. Political empowerment – outcomes on representation in decision-making structures 4. Health and survival – outcomes on life expectancy and sex ratio.

And now Malta. Where do we stand in all this? A list of 115 countries. Well we are 70th. One step behind France and (luckily for our politicians) 11 above Italy which places a miserable 81st. Other countries above us? Try China, Ghana, Kyrgyz Republic, Mongolia, Uzbekistan and... hold your breath here... Kazakhstan.

Yes, the home of Borat (women an ploughs yes) is fourty places above us in 30th place. In the 29th there is the US of A... leaving a sweet combination. Obviously the first five places go to Norway, Finland, Iceland, Germany and Sweden. The worst perfomers in the EU were Greece, France, Malta, Italy and Cyprus.

Sadly for Marie Louise Coleiro the item that stands out on the Malta Country Profile is the one entitled Female Genital Mutilation. Guess what the score is?

Yep. That's right 0.

On the other hand we still score lowly in legislation punishing violence on women. 0,67 - where 0 is bad and 1 is good. We also cheat because we claim to have had 13 years out of the last fifty with a female head of state. A white lie of course because on paper Agatha Barabara's presidential years were just so. No need to comment on the influential levels of the Presidential post of course.

On the equality to inequality scale we score 0,652. Which is more than zero but still far from the ideal state of 1.

So what you may say? Well I say (again) that while opposition MP's are busy about laws against vaginal mutilation and government ministers take on the crusade against that windmill called abortion in the constitution we might be spending our time much more usefully thinking how to bridge that gap. The gender one I mean.

I gave up on the intelligence gap ages ago.

Outlaw This

From this week's Maltatoday:

Labour MP Marie Louise Coleiro is calling on the government to outlaw the practice of female genital mutilation in Malta, in a bid to protect migrant women who could be subjected to the brutal practice.

Sometimes I cannot believe what I am reading in the papers. A week or so ago we had David Agius faking a dispute with Lorna only to churn up a litany of have-heards that we usually hear from the mouths (or read from the pens) of the has-beens. Now we have another example of the sorry state of politics in Malta. Marie Louise Coleiro call on government to outlaw female genital mutilation is as effective and useful to Maltese politics as if I were to call for an introduction of an age limit for snowboarding or a limit to the number of nuclear bombs Malta might produce.

What we have here, ladies and gentlemen of the ever-dwindling reasonable electorate, is another case of the Uselessly Controversial Topic being bandied around by a politician in the hope that the cause she is championing makes her look like a genuine social carer and potential saint and makes any opponents or naysayers look like the devil incarnate.

For let's face it. Saying that you disagree with Coleiro's suggestion could easily get you branded as a vaginal mutilator of some sort. Before you know it l-Orizzont would be headlining "Jack lo Squartatore" and other such clichés. It's a bit like the crusade to include an anti-abortion clause in the constitution. Notwithstanding the futility of the exercise by Minister Borg we still have whole debates about the matter - which inevitably digress to witchhunts aimed at the pro-abortionist baby-eaters even if they do not exist.

The thing is I am sure that no-one in Malta condones female genital mutilation (or male for what that matters). What also seems to be sure is the fact that there is no known record of female genital mutilation on the islands. Colerio's worry seems to be based on some ill-advised logic of the sort:

We get many immigrants to Malta.
Some immigrants are Somalis.

Some Somalis practice female genital mutilation.

Therefore female genital mutilation should be made illegal in Malta.

You could almost be convinced for a moment. You can almost feel the Female Genital Mutilation (Prevention) Act being drafted in some blue-eyed law firm somewhere in the capital. You could hear the drafter wonder whether section 7(3)(b) should include a reference to labial piercing without consent - and attempting to legally qualify instances of self-mutilation while under the influence.

Then reality hits you. Why the hell are our politicians busy suggesting laws about the hypothetical and the probable when the actual is still not being solved. I'd like to see a law that outlaws hunting and cruelty to animals and makes non-implementation a crime. I'd like to see a law that makes dumping by contractors punishable by putting them out of business. I'd love to see a law that makes political party funding illegal except through agreed systems. I'd love to see a ban on the taxi monopoly. I'd love to have better public procurement laws that ensure that roads do not have to be resurfaced every so often.

I'd like many things. But most of all I'd like to have less politicians talking about Somali Vaginas and Plastic Foetuses.... Actually, why don't we outlaw them too?

----

* Poster: anti-Female Genital Mutilation poster. NGO's like Amnesty International and UNICEF regularly combat FGM. Support Amnesty to support anti-FGM action in the countries where it DOES happen and we MUST be doing something about it.

Beaujolais Nouveau

I like you.... high five!

Say What? (again)

From today's Sunday Times Editorial:

There are clear signs that Malta is becoming an affluent society. This should sound like music to the government's ears, which is probably quick to equate affluence with the rise in the number of mobile phones, the growing number of Maltese who travel abroad, higher sales of air-conditioners and other household appliances, more cars on the road (in both cases contributing to higher fuel bills), and other signs of well-being...

The growing number of Maltese who travel abroad? Last time we checked the sell-out of Ryanair tickets was attributable in the greater part to incoming travel. Ditto most other airlines. Granted, the editorial is assuming that the government will be quick to equate affluence to these factors. Still... to imply that more Maltese are travelling when we are far from an ideal situation... that's a tall order.

Fat chance.

P.S. I'm busy cleaning the flat. So I.M. Jack can wait.

Existential Question

From time to time we like to pose the question. To blog or not to blog. Are Maltese blogs useful? Why is there not the blogging frenzy that can be seen in countries like the US and France - and to a lesser extent in the UK and Italy? The nature of the blog is also put into question. What kind of blogs are we talking about? Opinion blogs like this one, Thermidor or Lanzarote? Journals of hobbies, pastimes and other personal delights? Literary gems like Immanuel or Pierre?

Some time ago J'accuse bit the bullet and expressed its displeasure at the state of the Malta Journalism Awards. We do not think we are lacking in respect in any way when we criticise the classification of Wired Temples as a journalistic blog. True, it provides a service to the internet community who want to track the mention of Malta and all things Maltese on the ethernet. Probably we are not completely correct when we say that it is not "journalism" of some kind. But does the award truly reflect an awareness of the blogging world? What does it tell us about the state of the blogosphere in Malta?

The reason for these reflections is not, as some will undoubtedly assume, some sour grape mentality at not having been considered. We hesitated to mention the fact that such "awards" in Malta are based on an in-house assessment and nominations by people who are probably not fully aware of the reality on the net. The in-house promotion is not to be underestimated nor criticised since it has to be examined on the basis of the Maltese reality. Look at the Maltamedia structure. I mention it because no one else will except in silent asides in private. The glaring absence of references to the "rest" of the Maltese reality in daily posts and blogrolls (save the gargantuan list of Maltese blogs) does say something about the mission to promote the shifting blogosphere. The loosely assembled network must be commended for carving its niche in a new medium taking advantage of the hiccuping attempts of the traditional heavyweights of Maltese communication since the introduction of pluralism. PN and MLP have a long way to go before establishing a credible presence on the net. What worries me is the sense of protectiveness that can be perceived from without. The insecurity that is demonstrated by the persistence in acting as though Maltamedia alone exists on the web.

Positive criticism this may be, though I am not sure it will be easy to swallow. Hell, we are here to discuss and provoke. The truth if I lie - that's our original motto here.

Which brings me back to the question. It was provoked once again when reading the results of the French Socialist's election. Coming so soon after the American midterms one could not resist comparing and contrasting. One point stood out. Blogs were crucial in opinion forming and in passing on the messages that needed to be passed on. True they were also involved in one of the dirtiest campaigns in American history. But citizen involvement it was. And blogs were (and still are in the limelight).

One thing that set me thinking is that it appears that blogs have more of a role in these two democratic systems because of the way they are structured. The politics of France and America allow more for the use of such a tool than that of say, Italy and Malta. It could be because of the adaptability of the citizens to the new forms of information. It could be because the mainstream media in the two countries have long ago settled comfortably in bed with blogs by appropriating them and challenging the private blogs with blogs of their own. Look at Le Monde. One of the first reviews of the Socialist election is a review of the blogs of the candidates and of other blogs. What people are saying does not come through only through dumbed down polls or the mouth of politicians. It is democracy in action. Bottom up.

Which does not bode well for Malta. By now a series of five or six articles have appeared over the last year advertising this or that blog. true we get that occasional hiccup of hits like J'accuse's 547 a couple of days ago. But the truth is that the "value" given to the content is still not big enough. I am speculating here. We do commit a few sins ourselves. We are (mostly) irregular and can be inconsistent. We do not always deal with Maltese politics with the same regularity as a French blogger would daily comment on goings on in the hexagon. But I still feel that part of the blame on the lack of attention paid to blogs in the long run is due to the fact that their potential effect on the system and mentality is either (a) not being sufficiently mined or (b) never will be able to happen because of the way politics work in our country.

Comment please. (and insults will be accepted)

Socialists go Pink

The French Socialists overwhelmingly voted for Segolene Royal to be their candidate for the Presidential elections next year. 60.6% of the Socialist voters opted for the woman whose name sounds like a product (Segolene Royal - now even stronger... warning may contain artifical additives) over Dominique Strauss-Kahn and Laurent Fabius. Notwithstanding what had appeared to be cracks in her policy arguments (see ideas on Iraq), she cruised to victory and now appears posed to face Sarkozy next year.

It is to be hoped that next year's battle will not focus on man vs woman but on sound policy arguments. Segolene has sufficient times to fill in the gaps that have tainted her run to victory.

One big positive for Segolene is her think-tank site called Desirs d'avenir - which fully recognises the role of interactive media like fora, blogging and updated news sites in the creation of a democratic campaign. Let's just say that for now J'accuse would vote for Segolene (even with the name that gives me the impression of a very strong glue).

Ferenc Puskas

From BBC SPORT:

Hungary and Real Madrid legend Ferenc Puskas has died at the age of 79.

From Wikipedia:

Ferenc Puskás Biró (born April 2, 1927, Budapest Hungary), also referred to as Puskás Ferenc or Purczeld Ferenc, is a Hungarian former footballer and coach. He played for Honvéd and Hungary before joining Real Madrid and going onto play for Spain. During the 1950s, in a Hungarian team that also included Zoltán Czibor, Sándor Kocsis, József Bozsik and Nándor Hidegkuti, he was captain of the legendary Mighty Magyars. After the 1956 Hungarian Revolution he moved to Spain where he became part of the legendary Real Madrid team that also included Alfredo Di Stéfano, Francisco Gento, Raymond Kopa and José Santamaria.

Puskás, with a powerful left-foot shot, was a prolific goalscorer throughout his career. He was top scorer in the Hungarian League on four occasions and in 1948 he was the top goal scorer in any European league. While playing with Real Madrid he won four Pichichis and scored seven goals in two European Cup finals. After retiring as a player he became a coach and in 1971 led Panathinaikos to the European Cup final. In 2001 the Népstadion in Budapest was renamed the Stadion Puskas Ferenc in his honour. He was also declared the best Hungarian player of the last 50 years by the Hungarian Football Federation in the UEFA Jubilee Awards in November 2003.

Football and quiz lovers alike will today mourn the passing away of one of the great legends of football. The team with the musical names of Ferenc Puskas, Zoltan Czibor, Sandor Kocsis, Jozsef Bozsic and Nandor Hidegkuti is inevitably mentioned as one of the greatest teams to have graced the pitches of the world. The English remember the Mighty Magyars mostly for the 6-3 drubbing they received at Wembley in 1953. The greatest disappointment for the man dubbed the Galloping Major must have been the 3-2 defeat to West Germany in the 1954 World Cup final when Puskas played although not fully fit. The Magyars would have to settle for the 1952 Olympic Gold they had conquered two years before.

Thank you Ferenc for your part in filling the annals of football with your heroic feats. I am sure that you have been given a hero's welcome up there where you have joined the stars that have left us recently like Giacinto Facchetti and George Best.

Coffee Break

No, this will not be a long, Fausto-style break. It's just that instead of thinking for you today j'accuse will simply be telling you what it is thinking about. Complicated. Must be the weather. Anyways. We agreed with her article. Rather uncharacteristically we found his rather uninteresting. We thought that the whole ruckus about this is far-fetched. Once again we find him hilarous and his victims ridiculous. We find this absolutely unnecessary. We thought this had a good ending and we think this is worth reading. We know that it is uncoventional to hyperlink words like it, his, this and him... but then this is j'accuse... the truth if I lie.

Finally the secret will be out soon. This blog might be going places.... it's all in the title (in a way).

Musical Interlude

Rage Against the Machine... Testify. Following neebother's dedication in his blog. This one goes out to all the Bush apologistas and to the ones who believe politics and the way we do it can change.

Ode to Laziness

My friend Twanny used to blog at Triq il-Maqluba - a mosaical crossroads of cultures and ideas. His love of languages was always evident and the blog was a clear witness to this. His blog ended when he left Malta for Luxembourg to start a new phase in his adventures as a translator. We are still waiting for his new blog to kick off - another road, another destination. In the meantime we have been deprived of his occasional bursts of creativity such as his incredible Mosaics - poems written in three or more languages at one go. My post about Malta's record of laziness and dwarfism reminded the poet of a mosaic of his that he had written shortly before his departure for the Grand Duchy.

It is with great joy that J'Accuse plays host to this work by Twanny in the hope that his life as a sans-blog does not last forever and that he will find a new home on the blogosphere soon. Here it is (English translation follows):

Ad placitum

Għajjejt, tbażwart, inħxejt, the outside world can wait,
mon lit, le paradis, ma chambre une abîme noire,
hoy, yo soy el cansancio, in-ngħas, il-għażż, sommeil,
tout nu, non reggo più, il-lum jien nibqa' d-dar;

parapett, sigarett, café noir, donne-moi espoir,
my unsleepable brain, an ever-travelling train,
ħedla ta' nofsinhar, le nuvole vagar,
debajo de mis sábanas soy soberano rey.

Piccola grande gioia, questo dolce far niente,
far ventiquattro ore senza storie, senza gente,
jum mitluf, jum mirbuħ, ħa nerġa' nieħu r-ruħ;

j'ai envie de l'ennui, de mettre en pause la vie,
oír la noche inmensa, más inmensa sin ti,
let it roll, rest my soul, patience dans l'azur.

Antoine Cassar
Qrendi, 9 August 2006

Ad placitum

I'm tired, I'm knackered, I'm fucked, the outside world can wait, / my bed, paradise, my room a black abyss, / today, I am fatigue, drowsiness, lazyness, slumber, / stark naked, can't hold out, today I'll stay at home;

parapet, cigarette, café noir, give me hope, / my unsleepable brain, an ever-travelling train, / afternoon torpor, the clouds roving, / underneath my sheets I am the sovereign king.

Small great joy, this sweet doing nothing, / spend twenty-four hours without stories, without people, / a day lost, a day gained, I will pick up again;

I'm in the mood for ennui, for putting life on pause, / hearing the immense night, more immense without you, / let it roll, rest my soul, patience in the azure.

Short, Lazy Buggers

Picture: The Maltese dwarves at a party: (top to bottom) Lazy, Lazy, Lazy, Lazy, Lazy, Frengo and Lazy

There, we have it on black and white now. Maltese are the shortest and laziest among EU citizens. Why am I not surprised? Have you ever been to Amsterdam or any Dutch town for what that matters? If yes, did you not get the distinct feeling that you might have inadvertently chewed on a magic mushroom in the Shoarma shop and that you were now experiencing a Looking Glass experience where everybody was at least a foot taller than you?

And when it comes to laziness. Just move to a foreign country and try to explain to other people why you just have to park infront of your next destination and avoid any extra walking. How do you explain that jogging is just not an option when the weather outside is polar? Playstation vs Jog round the Park? Give me a break.

What gets at me is that this short & lazy label gives all the pretentious, snobbish bastards situated north of Tripoli point some excuse to snort down at us as though this was the ultimate answer to the existence of the Maltese. The bureaucratically desperate Luxembourger with his squishy squashy language and whose idea of a time out is a trip to Auchan will be giggling his arse off between a moien and a schweier. That really will be the limit.

All the other 24 will follow suit in a concerto of laughter and glee and have a great ball laughing at the "nains faineants" of the Med. But the truth is that the ones who should be laughing are il-Maltin. In fact while being short is nothing that we can control short of interbreeding with the taller races (which is where I am doing my bit by dating a six-footer), being lazy is a matter of perspective.

Laziness in Europe is equated with not wanting to work. With going against the work ethic. In fact the earlier you wake up, the longer you stay at work, the more extra hours you put in in cleaning your home, the more you walk to work across the Kirchberg bridge in sub-zero conditions, the more medals you should earn. And of course you should laugh at the Maltese who steals that extra half-hour in bed, drives to work in a heated car, parks in the parking and gets a lift straight to his office, skips the morning coffee conference at the canteen (shit coffee anyway), reads the papers and listens to music while working, and even manages to leave a little early (say six as against ten pee emm). The output on the workplace is the same. The quality too (if not better) but the appearances really lose out.

You see. What the rest of the EU does not get is that what they call laziness is really a secret to a good laugh. Less stress, better time management and a philosophy based on the idea that "my body is my temple and I am not dragging this temple for a useless twenty minute jog when I could be sitting in the warmth of my house". What the EU will go on to forget is that while we are short and we are "lazy" (I prefer laid-back), we still top the list of the happiest people on the continent.

That should count for something should it not? You bunch of grumpy, clumsy, clanking, overworked good-for-nothings you. I'm off for a ciggy break - coz I've just decided I'll take up smoking again... health was never my thing and there's nothing more relaxing than a little puff for this short but happy lazy bugger!


PS. And does anyone remember the rule of thumb? You know what they say about short men? I guess now we know why our shores are full of women from the north every summer. :)

Sublime

From La Gazzetta dello Sport (Lorenzo Astori):

E intanto mezza Italia è già lì che fa i conti per capire quando la Juve riuscirà ad arrivare in vetta. Impresa possibile già sabato prossimo, ma comunque dietro l’angolo. E sarà ben difficile che i bianconeri, una volta raggiunto il primo posto, possano rallentare il passo e farsi superare: quindi c’è la concreta possibilità che già ben prima di Natale un posto promozione sia già assegnato. Mai successo nella storia di questo campionato, ma non era nemmeno mai successo che ci fosse la Juve…

Non Sequitur #63

Record

Not something for the Guinness Book of Records but a record all the same. Yesterday, Monday November 13th 2006 was the day in which the highest number of visitors popped in for a visit to J'accuse.

547

You know what we say.... probably....

Cushion the Entire Planet

Welcome

Good morning and welcome to J'accuse - la verite' si je mens (the truth if I lie). If you are Maltese and you are reading this blog for the first time chances are that you have read one of Claire Bonello's articles on FM or Manic. Thanks for making the effort and typing in the address of what is probably Malta's most popular blog in your address bar. The last sentence contains an example of tongue-in cheek humour - something that is to be found in great supply in the posts on this blog.

I suggest a little walkthrough through this blog by clicking on previous postsin the section entitled "Hot of the Press" in the right column. To do the time travel thingy without the Delorean then go to the section entitled the "Bollagio" which is a not so smart reference to a vault in a famous film and which contains all the archives of J'accuse. You have material that goes back to 10th March 2005 which is when J'accuse first strated picking on politicians, haranguing columnists and being rude to all and sundry.

J'accuse is not the only blog I write. If you are well versed in Maltese take a look at Kinnie & Twistees a blog that is a bit about Malta and a bit about the rest of the world. In there you will find the series entitled "Folklor Urban ghas-Seklu 21" which has three installations (+ one interlude) entitled Karawett, Kafe' and Kuluri'83 respectively. If on the other hand it's spoofing of Vassalli Maltese that you are after then the chronicles of Gakbu Sfigho in Il Bollettino della Sfi*a are just for you. The Laughing Fit is a project aimed at propagating humour in its basest form. It began as an educational tool for those who keep missing the joke and developed into a collection of funny things suggested to me by readers of J'Accuse.

You may read more about me, my blogging and more on my homepage. Any comments you may have are welcome and may be added on this page by clicking on the word "Comments" at the beginning of this post just near the title.

You might like to know that I post every day or almost. That there are no rules as to the content except that nobody is spared. You might want to get to know every time something new is put up - in that case I suggest an "RSS reader" which is a thingy on the net that allows you to read posts from different blogs as soon as they are up. Nowadays with IE Explorer and always with Firefox you can click on the orange button in the address bar and add the particular blog to what is called your "RSS feed". For a less complicated system just add J'Accuse to your favourites and come back again daily!

There are other blogs out there. Many. I have a short list of some at the end of the column on the right. Enjoy the browsing and please do come back.


Thank You
Finally, a big thank you goes out to Claire for her double mention. I am flattered to be mentioned in the same article as Guze, Immanuel and Pierre. Not to mention Karl Schembri of course!


The idea of this blog is still evolving. It is basically there to "think so you don't have to" as the great vblog philosopher says. We like to put it this way...

"this has been j'accuse... it was either cushion the entire planet... or just your brain."

come again... if not, so long and thanks for the peep.