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jeudi, avril 06, 2006

Di-ve's new depths

The trial of Joseph Fenech continues as one of Malta's most notorious criminals puts on his best sheep's clothing and attempts to convince the court that his philanthropic efforts in jail against drug abuse were the reasons behind a sound beating that he received. But the funniest thing today must be di-ve's report. I give you the last few lines with my red highlights:

Mr. Fenech said that in division 5, there is always a strong smell of heroin. He alleged that the inmates consumed drugs in a room which had to be used as a gym. Recounting the events that occurred on the day of the incident, Mr.Fenech said that he was about to shave when he noticed five men standing by the gate of the division. The men entered his cell and assaulted him. A Libyan man and David Monsigneur helped him before the prison staff arrived and the five men were moved to division six. After Fenech's testimony, another inmate David Monsigneur took the witness stand. He said that Fenech used to complaint about the terrible state of the showers. He added that he help him to stand up when he was beaten up. However, Mr.Monsigneur failed to identify the assailants. At this point, Joseph Fenech was heard saying that certain inmates "would sell their own mother for a bar of smack".


Just one question: Who's who in the following part of the report?

He added that he help him to stand up when he was beaten up.

All complaints to be addressed to pcachia@di-ve.com. Sample letter attached:

Dear Paul Cachia,
I write you in order so that to explained that the constant continuous massacre of the english grammar is distressive to my thinking and contrary to my savoir faire. I like for them to be written in better more comprehensive diction for the common people to be able to apprehend what is being subjected in your convolutionised sentences that pass for journalism. I admit that the state of journalising in Malta leaves much to be beggared for but I still am impressioned that you manage to elevate the amount of errored phrases to a stratospheric level that would make a Lorna flush.


always yours
INSERT NAME HERE

4 commentaires:

Antoine Cassar a dit…

Qed nidħak !!!!!!

Ma nistax nirreżisti, ħa nibgħatha issa stess...

Paul Cacciottolo a dit…

Heh. Class, this. You think he'll respond to an overflowing inbox? I suggest someone find some massive pdf with grammar rules, and everyone fill up his quota.

Joking apart, a lot of the articles on di-ve.com are disgracious. It would not be the first time I've written in to complain.

Antoine Cassar a dit…

Irċevejt xi risposta jew?

Jacques René Zammit a dit…

xejn. u baqa' mhux korrett ukoll.