jeudi, septembre 15, 2005

Lorna vs ANR (round II)

"Stop me... I'm Exultant" was the Nth in a number of posts dedicated to the language and works of Dame Vassallo. Quite coincidentally, while I was researching one of the subjects of Lorna's article today I discovered (with, I must confess, a measured amount of elation) that the valiant defenders of the Republic are not to be ignored when it comes down to the matter of flawed language usage. Indeed, unlike columnists who shy away from showing the web link to the pages of this crowd of self-proclaimed purists I will gladly point you to the locus delicti where at least a dozen crimes against the English language are being committed daily. This might be's hour of glory as the attention of error-sighting enthusiasts is diverted to yet another site.

Anyways� do pop over to where you will freely get a cocktail of ridiculous propaganda peppered with the most atrocious of errors since the Times editor issued the Nulla Osta for Lorna Vassallo's weekly space. Here are a few indicting samples:

"Alleanza Nazzjonali Repubblikana announces its first public manifestation: A public demonstration against illegal immigration through a press release which you can find ****. "

Who will point out to these valiant crusaders that the above sentence implies that their demonstration will be made by press release? I will. Yes sirs. "a demonstration against illegal immigration through a press release means just that". Of course we all know that these brave white men really meant that they are announcing their first public demonstration by way of a press release � but we cannot keep trying to second guess what the hell they are trying to say can we?

"A.N.R. is not a single issue movement and would in normal circumstances have liked to avoid a subject matter which is bound to raise controversy as its first manifestation. The present situation however is far from normal and unless serious immediate remedial action is not forthcoming illegal immigration is bound to get out of control and overwhelm us. A.N.R. is against illegal action wherever it originates from as it has made abundantly clear on every occasion and expects to see affirmative action taken against economic illegal migrants irrelevant of race or religion."

They are now economic illegal migrants. What exactly is that? How economic do you have to be in order to be unwanted?

"A.N.R shall be releasing more information in a forthcoming press conference. The Police have been informed of its intentions and as is law we will apply for a permit in the stipulated time frame. Furthermore A.N.R. will insist that the police will take immediate action to any individuals who intends to use this manifestation to promote his racist views."

Suddenly the schizophrenic nature of ANR comes out. It speaks of itself as though it were another entity - "have been informed of its intentions". "As is law" is a classic and must be somewhere up there among "utterly badly" and "delineating our boundaries". Besides� what kind of immediate action will be taken "to individuals who intends..:"? A pregnant phrase if any. Pregnant with daggers taking a stab at the English language once and for all. To me it reads like the police will be taking a couple of action movies to some individuals who are one (since they intends). I'm not too sure but reading between the lines it might be a swipe at Norma Lowell. Duh.

"Members of the public who would like to give a helping hand are encouraged to write to us at "

You are guaranteed to receive an email in perfect gibberish.

"A Difficult Speech : Mr. Ranier Fsadni endulges in flawed historical revisionism to dilute the significance of our 8th Of September National Feast. He accuses the A.N.R of being pompous in its statements and of engaging in "bad myth making"."

Ranier. Did you have to go so far? Stop endulging (it's indulging actually)! Pompous? The ANR? They cannot get their language right how the hell can they be pompous?

"The Lionhearts of Malta : Just a few days after going public, Mrs. Daphne Caruana Galizia has concluded that we at A.N.R. should all go get a life."

When was that then 1992? 1993? I do not really remember when DCG first went public. Oh all right� I know you all get it� you know what they meant� problem is�. Do these gits get it too?

4 commentaires:

bocca a dit…

did you not notice that the hand in the picture on the bottom left of the anr site is angled precisely at the angle one adopts in order to have some fun?

david a dit…

As someone once said "Never mind the quality. Feel the wit"

The art of using strategic provisos was not lost on Malta's answer to Fini (A bunch of Finos perhaps?)You should acknowledge that, au moins.

in the vicinity of the lonely crusader knights, you'll spot this one:

NOTA: Dan is-sit huwa ta?t kostruzzjoni kontinwa, g?alhekk tafu tiltaqg?u ma xi ?ball l'hawn u l'hemm. Skuzawna.Jifdal ?afna xog?ol qabel ma ntellg?u l-materjal kollu li nixtiequ.

Antoine Cassar a dit…

Eccellenti, Jacques. Ghadni ma waqaftx nidhak!

Kif darba qal Mark, "Ilsien mnejjek igorr hsieb imnejjek".

Il-lum Daphne harget b'artiklu tajjeb hafna (ghall-inqas it-tieni parti) dwar l-gheruq Gharab tal-Malti u dawk l-imsejknin li ghal xi raguni jew ohra jisthu minnhom. Biss nemmen li ta' min ma neskludux it-teorija ta' l-origini Fenicja ghalkollox (kif taghmel Daphne implicitament)... milli jidher il-Malti dig� kellu sottostrat Semitiku meta waslu l-Gharab mill-Magreb, u li permezz ta' din il-karatteristika l-bibien dig� kienu miftuhin ghad-dhul intensiv ta' vokabularju, proprju ghax l-istruttura bazika tal-hsieb dig� kienet hemm.

gybexi a dit…


biex ma noqghodux induru mal-lewza x'hin rajt l-ewwel ftit sentenzi ghedt "leeeeeeeeee! mhux post ta' malti li ser joqghod jilghaba ta' l-uber-britixx u ser joqghod jipponta subghajh lejn kull zball ortografiku Ingliz li jsib biex juri kemm hu kleverr u nistaghgbu bil-komannt tajjeb ta' l-ingliz tieghu"... imma ma kienx il-kaz.

qbadt ma' 'vittmi' (ahem) li ta' min jaqbad maghhom u hafna mill-affarijiet li kitbu (apparti c-cucati fil-kontenut) kienu sentenza wara l-ohra ta' zbalji lessici u sintassici li iebes ma titbissimx meta taqrahom...

prosit. noffrilek alcopop la niltaqghu...