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jeudi, septembre 15, 2005

Stop me... I'm Exultant

Dame Lorna's meanderings have led her to a lamabasting of the RRR. She has joined the ranks of the many columnists busy condemning the monster that is rearing its ugly head. Well done Lorna. She could not resist linking this phenomenon to her recurrent theme: "The Decline and Fall of the Nationalist Party". The party is in tatters and has many splinter groups according to the Queen of new age literature. LV begins by telling us that:
"prior to EU accession I myself had repeatedly, albeit hypothetically, raised such a possibility".
She herself has no bounds. You either raise a point or you don't. Anyway that hypothetically does not fit in anyway. She is talking about the possibility of Europe being invaded by Africa. Of course you were speaking hypothetically your Fluency. Hypothetically as in mentioning the possibility that once we joined the EU we would be invaded by Africans. On the other hand you cannot have the hypothetically in that sentence. You either "raise the possibility" or you do not. You cannot do so hypothetically. Because that means that you do not do that. Really. No. Really really. Jeez It's mind bending.
"They are African citizens."
Now now. Not the best of phrases in an article that is meant to be an attack on the nationalist elements of Maltese society. Her phrase implies a brown passport with jungle trees and a photo of natives on the front. The African passport I guess.
There are worrying bits in the middle of the article. Of logic I mean. Not the language. The sorry state of Maltese politics as far as ANR, Lowell, Figolla and others are concerned cannot afford to be compounded further by the addition of another carnival float in the shape of Dame Lorna the mind-boggling. This paragraph is enough to confuse the most avid of followers of Maltese politics:
"It was the Opposition Leader's turn now to voice his opinion. Feeling comfortable enough that others are fighting the opposition's battle, the former anti-EU socialist economist declared: "We are here, first and foremost, to defend the interests of our country". At no time has a Labour leader been so confident he will be applauded by supporters of the other party."
It is definitely a criticism to Alfred Sant. That much I gather. So Lorna who declared allegiance to the leader while apologising to KMB for her failing him in any way is now telling AS that he has abandoned the Opposition's cause and is gathering votes among the far right loonies with his ridiculous statements. Bravo Lorna. If I read this right I agree with you.
"is doing utterly badly financially"
Utterly badly indeed. Indeed. Tut tut!
"Definitely nobody is exulted about the ever-increasing influx of immigrants".
Exultant maybe. Exultant. Endings dear, endings. Which leads us to the historical coup de grace...
"The Maltese government should put the best available brains together [a sort of forget-me-not note] to solve the issue. It is time Malta flourished in its diplomatic relations [Dar Malta II maybe?]. And this is but a necessity. The Maltese contribution to European politics was very often underestimated. We tend to take upon our shoulders European "battles", notwithstanding our size, and solve them to everybody's amazement . It's time to start thinking again. Grand Master La Valette fought the Great Siege for Europe [for the Kings and Queens of Europe who were busy oppressing the lower social classes who inspire MLP's agenda] 10 generations back and World War II was fought for Nelson [ok. tell me there is a typo here! What war was fought for Nelson anyway? or is this Nelson a personification of Brittania??] one generation back; it seems it's time we fight another battle for (or with?[with??? are you nuts woman???]) Europe. Thus [could've been hence, therefore or even ergo], we badly need another Arvid Pardo or another Dom Mintoff [oh ever so badly needed]in order to delineate our boundaries[as dogs against a tree I guess]."
So there you have it. The ingratitude of Ewripp after we fought off the bloody Turks (Eurasian Citizens) and the Krauts (with Nelson) will be repaid by our marking of our boundaries (drink two litres of water before the performance). In the meantime hidden laboratories will create a superior lower social class ubermensch with cells taken from Arvid Pardo and Dom Mintoff. Alfred Sant will be listed separately on the electoral ballot as the Politician Formerly Known as the Anti Eu Socialist Economist (PFKATAESE for short). But then all this could be hypothetical!

I'm off to mark my boundaries. I have an utterly bad craving to do so....



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6 commentaires:

Anonyme a dit…

Was Wrong or What?
"Definitely nobody is exulted about the ever-increasing influx of immigrants. Were it not for such an alarming amount of immigrants, Europe, Libya and Denmark wouldn't have taken heed of Malta's cry for help."

Denmark?! It was the Dutch Government, ie from the Netherlands, that offered help. Yes, D's can create confusion!! poor lorna

Arcibald a dit…

Nelson mhux meta kien hawn Napuljun kien gie 'jsalva' lil Malta? Jew jien qed nittiehed mill-marda taghha wkoll u bdejt inhawwad?

Ma nafx kif jippubblikawla artiklu hekk fit-Times. L-editur fejn hu? Dizastru totali!

Anonyme a dit…

"Have we joined Europe only to be invaded by Africa?" This is the punch line a correspondent of The Sunday Times chose to open his article last August 21.

How on earth can it be called a punch line if the said correspondent OPENED the article with it??
Doesn't the twit know that punch lines come at the END?

The woman is incapable of stringing a series of simple words together to make a decent sentence. It would be hilarious were it not so pathetic.

bocca a dit…

i stand and applaud your patience in ploughing through lorna in order to plough her

Athena a dit…

Jacques ploughing Lorna? Oh god what an awful mental image. *washes brain with plenty of soap*

Zemploid a dit…

U ejja Bocc!
It hardly required any ploughing at all. They were there for the picking: one screeching abomination of the English language after another.

You may choose to agree with her or not - that's an issue in itself, but the least we should expect from The Times is to give us writers who can, at the very least, put a coherent sentence together.