Name Game - Mi chiamo Ayeye Bratsov

Recipient: "the semantic role of the animate entity that is passively involved in the happening denoted by the verb in the clause".

And in the case of the graduation ceremonies in Malta the number of animate entities is quite considerable. Semantically speaking the most interesting part of the lists that are annually published in the Times (and now the Indy) of all graduands is the number of funny names you can find. Just as I am sure someone had an uninformed giggle about "Jacques René" the first time they saw it (not knowing that Chirac shares both name and second name), I enjoy a giggle or two while surveying the list of newly degreed that grace the island. So here goes my very best from today:

Dip. Management Studies (manage this):
Rita Borg Saywell (surnames count too)
Stasianne Galea (I'm in Extasienne!)
Romona Grech (my Romona! My Romona!)
January Mercieca (any guesses for her birthmonth?)
Semon Montagno Bozzone (not Maltese I know... but Montagno Bozzone!)

Dip. Social Studies (socialise it):
Maronia Camilleri (yes. Maronia)

B.A. Religious Studies (amen):
Annunzjata Micallef (could she have graduated in anything else)

B.Sc. (Hons) (space oddities):
Erica-Jo Bonnici (yee-ha)

B.Comm. (I just love to pick on these):
Charisse Cuschieri (ermmm what?)
Oriana Fenech (Malta's answer to Fallaci)
Claudia Sghendo (must be me but I thought this surname was fictitious)

Jiang Jun Wang
Jiemin Wang
Yang Wang
Yi Wang
Yilun Wang

Ok. I know the last four are chinese names. Look closely. Remove the Wangs. So we have Jiang Jiemin and Yin and Yang graduating. Is someone pulling our non-oriental leg? Incidentally... do you know why they have not got too many telephones in china? Because there are so many Wings and so many Wongs that someone might Wing the Wong Numba!

Postgraduate Dip. Geront. & Geriat. (batteries not included):
Ebenezer Ajiwe
Willy Gatore
Olabisi Olorundare
I love African names. Seriously. The favourite remains Doctor Khumalo.

B.A. (Hons). Social Work:
Check out this sequence:
Ilona Conti
Sandra Drago
Glenda Duca
Wow. Conti Drago Duca. That's what I call going medieval on our ass!

B.Comm (Hons) (honourable gits):
Dale Azzopardi (and the deltones)
Rodianne Camilleri (another of the burger king names)

Others:
Inika Camilleri (no. seriously. Inika Camilleri. As in Jiena Innika, Inti Tnika, Hu Inika)
Rouvin Zammit (a zammit Worse off than me!)
Stephanie Whelpdale (as in beat Mr. Azzopardi)
Lorenza Gatt (destined to govern with an iron fist)
M'Concetta Grima (M'fhimtx)
Olivianne Caruna (olivia and anne duh!)
Chanel Cassar (poor thing... call me smelly)
Charles Tanti Rigos (sounds like a programme for Macintosh)
Melisande Aquilina (hmm)
Goline Attard (suggestive. And I will stop there for the younger audience)
Simitrio Pianciamore (ok.)
Charlene Spiteri (the texas frontgirl graduates in PGCE)
Amanda-Jane De Giovanni (a friend fo Erica-Jo)

Finally... graduating with an Honourable Bachelor of Accountancy (what else?)...

MARK SPENCER

Note: Any semblance to real persons is purely the fault of irresponsible parents. The author waives any responsibility.