jeudi, mars 23, 2006
Today the Adorer of He Who Must Only Be Alluded To has chosen to launch into the definite (and absolute) explanation of why PN are soooo a minority and MLP are soooo an absolute majority all over the place except in government. But they will be in two years time of course. In the meantime Lorna will continue to bore all and sundry with percentages recounting the greatest majorities since Mintoff and the greatest flops since Borg Olivier. Incidentally, the sad state of affairs in nationalistland is surely demonstrated when even a bungling columnist like the Dame of Literary Elocution manages to take the proverbial urinary sample.
But anyhoo... the first few pagraphs of today's contribution manage to convey a bit of Lornisms which merit the old red annotation treatment.
So for the fans of she who must be prrrrrrosaic here goes:
Only one primely author has the titles of his articles starting in "pr" in Malta. [This is apparently Alfred Sant's main achievement over the last twenty years - that nothwiststanding the fact that the novelty of the PR idea has run dry he still persists in polluting the pages with titles that seem to have been forced out of his pen with the aid of a mental suppository. Meanwhile Lorna introduces us to the word "primely" - of excellence - don't know why but its first three letters remind me of primitive and primate. Must be the obsession she has for Freddie - you can imagine her hunting him down in a primordial pre-coital prance across the templs of Mnajdra until having caught her prey she will proceed to preen his preputio with gusto.] Arbitrarily allowing myself [The woman is so full of herself as to give permission to herself - the schizophrenia abounds] to break such household spell [Lorna Potter. What exactly does she mean by household spell? Has Freddie been bewitched into writing articles that have to begin with PR - on pain of non-election?] , it is in this way that I introduce my article about such author's latest primely precedents... political precedents [such author's primely precedents - you will note that throughout the article she will talk about the prrrwriter's political victories which have no antecedent so technically they are not precedent since whatever they precede has not yet come].
The March 11 local elections have made him [he who writes in prrrrrs], whose political practice has been profusely underestimated [to profusely underestimate - to scatter underestimation all over the place with prurient enthusiasm], the party leader with a number of unprecedented electoral victories in Maltese politics [the fixation with precedent sticks.. once a word gets into that vacuum she calls a brain it has difficulty leaving without having to resonate once or twice around the medulla oblongata - please note that most of the unprecedented victories had not happened since for example 1955 which does not make them so unprecedented]. No matter how fervently political foes attempt to peter out such conquests [beautiful: to peter out such conquests, as in to drip them out slowly un surreptitiously -possibly the use of the word peter was prompted by the fact that it begins with a P and ends in an R, but then possibly not!], Alfred Sant has shown that "the final proof of greatness lies in being able to endure continuously without resentment".
In the wake [some are still mourning] of the last local council results, one can list some of the achievements secured. These were:
The fourth consecutive electoral victory for the MLP since 2004, the first one being the relative 48.42 per cent victory in EP elections.
Beyond the EP relative majority, thus, this is the third absolute majority victory on a local level since 2004. In the 2004 elections, the MLP obtained 50.2 per cent of the vote. In 2005, a 53.2 per cent absolute majority was won, followed, this year, with another absolute majority of 53.95 per cent.
This year's was also the first absolute majority obtained in 23 localities, most of which are (or were always considered to be) PN strongholds, not only since 1993 (when local councils were introduced) but also since the 1950 general election. [how does she calculate this? Can statisticians help on this one? Fausto?]
The extra relevance of the 2006 vote lies in the fact that it is also the highest non-PN percentage ever obtained in local council elections in at least 14 of the said 23 localities since 1993, namely: Birkirkara, Fgura, Lija, Marsascala, Mdina, Msida, Mtarfa, Naxxar, San Gwann, Sliema, Tarxien, Xghajra, Zabbar and Victoria. One has to bear in mind the fact that, between 1993 and 1998, the MLP didn't contest the local elections as a party and, therefore, the pro-MLP was not all too evident. [And here we find a reason for her idol Sant to slap her on the wrists.... dear dear this is not the normal Labour mantra. Did you not know that non-voters are always evidently Labour? Did you forget the precedents of the EP elections and the 1993 local councils themselves? When Sant says we don't play all non-voters automatically become Labourite... PRobably]
Ah Lorna. How prosopopaeic. Your articles are preternaturally prescient and so lacking in the pretentious presumption of nationalist proponents. I worry that your premonitory presages could precipitate a bout of ill luck on the side of the primely primate that you so profoundly adulate. Precaution and premption for some unpremeditated downfall would be precious advice unless you would want to present the picture of a perfect prick at the end of the day when it really counts!
Good day y'all.
PS All those who asked for legal clarification regarding the Philip Sciberras - Mintoff issue are kindly asked to email me at jacques dot zammit at gmail dot com and I will send the necessary clarifications.