It seems like I am lacking in Ying. On this my latest visit to the wondefrul city of Metz I had scheduled an appointment with a specialist in Oriental medicine. I would say Chinese doctor but that would not be right. The doctor is French, it's the method that is Chinese. And the French doctor using the chinese method diagnosed a lack of Ying. Which is cool because it seems that Melanie is lacking in Yang and therefore we should be quite complimentary.
I must say that I found the oriental treatment quite convincing. It can throw you off track a little like when madame la medecine decided to to examine my shins because I told her that I had regular stomach problems. The only tense moment was when, after prescribing a series of herb based remedies, she proposed that I transform into a lifesized voodoo doll: Before you could say "drawing Mohammed in a bad light can be offensive to certain beings" I was lying sprawled face up on her bed awaiting the insertion of the first of a series of needles.
Pins were inserted (among others) in points Ling Gu, L2, L3 and LV2 on the diagram above as well as on the stomach (ticklish). Pain or discomfort was only registered when LV2 was inserted presumably to hit some nerve below my big toe in the left foot. Point UB40 did not necessitate any pricky intervention... my reggae point is safe. With all needles inserted I had to just wait for the negative energy to depart from my liver. So Madame instructed me to breathe out heavily at regular intervals... I chose to invent a tantric charm of my own and chanted "f'ghoxx il-labar li ivvintaw ic-cinizi" while exhaling. It may not be as efficient as the buddhist Ohm but I guarantee it helped release the tension of having pins and needles inserted into the body as though one was an overblown pin cushion.
So well. I am now on a recovery program trying to refill the missing Ying and ensure that my liver returns to its former full self where Yin and Yang are well balanced and happy. I will go back for more of the needle business in two or three weeks time and I promise that it really is not bad at all. Really.
Ah. And she thinks I should start exercising too. Apparently it helps.